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Dating Rules- On a First Date, Manners Matter
Do You Think You Can Handle Me?
I expect some day that we will have tea with the queen. Therefore, on our first date, I would like to see you have enough manners to manage it.
In the old days, fathers taught their sons about wrenches and hammers while their mothers explained that every little move, mannerism, and gesture expresses a man’s masculinity. Remember the Bible story about the good steward, the parable that illustrated how being trustworthy in small things points toward trustworthiness in bigger things? Manners fall into that category. When I know I can depend on you to hold the car door for me, I feel encouraged that someday I can depend on you to pick-up our yet unborn children at soccer practice. Sure, I believe in girl power but I also believe in feminine prerogative and I expect you to understand.
Whether you date me or any of my millions of sisters, please, follow two fundamental rules which are the foundations of all etiquette:
First, show your respect in everything you do and say.
Second, don’t you dare make the so-called conversation all about yourself. If I want your bio, I will Google you.
Beyond those two essentials, I would like to see that you know your wine service and your forks; I would appreciate it if you would hold my chair, hold my coat, and treat our servers kindly. I especially would like to see you tip everyone properly neither flashy nor excessively frugal. I do not believe any of these tiny acts of consideration are too much to ask.
I’ll call you and other wireless weirdness
During our date, I expect to be the focus of your attention, the center of your universe, the lodestone for your compass needle. Translation: Turn-off your cell phone. If you are such a captain of industry that you cannot put your business on hold for a couple of hours, then how do you imagine you ever will have time for a relationship? And if you really have text messages so urgent they distract your attention from me, then you should spend your evening with your texters. I make one exception: If your babysitter calls, you must take the call. Not your baby's mama or your ex-wife, but a genuine, legit babysitter; I can accept that.
Sure, ‘I’ll call you’ seems like a nice thing to say, but if you have no intention of calling, then please do not say that you will. Let’s face the facts: If I am not inviting you to come up and give you the grand tour of my home, serve you a glass of wine or ask you to get a beer from the refrigerator and invite you to make yourself comfortable, then you probably have no good reason to call. Still, allowing for the benefit of the doubt, you could call to say you had a nice time and take a shot at a second date. If you have not called within twenty-four hours of the first date, though, I am moving on. Time’s up, and your permit has expired. On the other hand, if I volunteer that I would love to see you again, and if I get brave and say that I hope you will call me, then you know you should call. In fact, you probably should call in the next five minutes, because operators are standing by.