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Journal of a Healthy Marriage

Updated on July 27, 2011
Healthy Marriage Jar - Keep your secrets in a jar similar to this!
Healthy Marriage Jar - Keep your secrets in a jar similar to this! | Source

Married people can cohabitate for a certain period of time, sometimes even years, painlessly when you are in love. In the beginning and throughout your marriage to foster that healthy marriage relationship you go out of your way to please your spouse.

However, marriage is not easy. It is a continuous willingness to compromise and struggle until you are either too tired and beat down to fight back or one of you breaks and becomes a murderer. It’s no exaggeration.

Can't sleep without you Baby!
Can't sleep without you Baby! | Source

" you know your in love when,
you cant fall asleep because
reality is finally better than your
dreams "

The above quote is all lovey dovey and cute then without warning you snap - mentally you get tired of giving, giving all the time. You begin to question if all is fair and equally balanced in the relationship. Work, household responsibilities, finances, child care, in laws ... They all play a part on relationship stability.

Many of us don’t have what it takes to kill even if we secretly dream about it. We are soft. We see couples seemingly living in perpetual marriage bliss. Bull, I say! They have just found a method that works for them. Sooner or later that method has to be reevaluated or the criminal thoughts again enter your mind.

I have killed my husband in my dreams every year for the past 21. The beauty of it is I can continue doing it and haven’t been caught. I am too smart and always change my method of operandi. Resisting the urge to kill him is way too hard. So I wait until we both go to bed and then I move in.

I have killed him after a night of poker arriving home past the time he said he’d be home.

I have killed him after partying and drinking too much and embarrassing us both.

I have killed him for being too loud and waking up the kids.

I have killed him after repeated pleas of asking him to watch his language around kids.

I have killed him after years of picking up the plastic silver lining that he mindlessly unwraps from a cigarette box and drops wherever.

I have killed him after a sleepless night due to his snoring.

I have killed him after realizing he has lied to me.

I have killed him for not shutting up long enough to let someone else speak.

I have killed him for making bad personal and business decisions.

I have killed him for ruining our credit.

I have killed him for forgetting to take out the garbage.

I have killed him for indebting us up to our eyeballs.

I have killed him for ogling spring breakers.

I have killed him for not being able to say no.

I have killed him for defying common sense.

I have killed him for not caring about his health.

I have killed him because he annoys me.

I have killed him because everything is funny and a joke to him.

I have killed him for what I believe he is thinking.

I have killed him for always falling asleep on the couch in front of the TV instead of just going to bed.

I have killed him for always having to interrupt me and needing to be the center of attention.

I have killed him for eating so fast that it takes the joy of cooking away.

I have killed him for getting mad at me that I am mad at him.

I have killed him in his sleep over and over.

I wake up in the morning feeling refresh and renewed. I feel good justice has been served. The good for nothing got what he deserved! I of course make sure to discard all evidence, thoroughly wash my hands and sanitized everything squeaky clean. No blood, no body to dispose of. The perfect crime and marriage.

"like the tree needs the earth,
like the night needs the moon,
like the stars needs the sky,
like the quitar needs the tune,
my world needs you."

And so I ask “ Sweetheart, Would you like coffee or tea this morning?”


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    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      I agree, patience and understanding in a marriage are essential for a long healthy marriage. I'm happy you enjoyed reading this and understood my wacky humor.

    • lex123 profile image

      lex123 6 years ago

      Interesting hub and enjoyed reading it. The couple need to have a lot of patience and understanding to last a healthy marriage relationship.

    • profile image

      Cousin Fudd 6 years ago

      Enjoyed the read. After 39 years with my only bride, I'm sure these thoughts must have gone through her beautiful head. Marriage to be successful requires lots of work. I just read over 50% of all marriages in our country end in divorce, looks like a majority now don't have the grit to grin and bear it or compromise and simply take the easy road, if in fact there is an easy road.

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 6 years ago from Alabama,USA

      Nice hub.....Please follow me back

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      No question marriages are hard work. We can't always be in total harmony with one another but a s you point out I think it's worth the time and effort to work at it and keep it alive. This hub may be a bit unusual and Misunderstood by some but the point is that as bad as things seem at times we have to realize our spouses are only human. If we can we should forgive, forget, compromise and move on. Thanks for your comment.

    • profile image

      mtsi1098 6 years ago

      When I first read this I did not know how to take it but let me say that no marriage is perfect and unless their is mutual communication, respect and trust it cannot work. Nonetheless I have found that my wife and I get along great when we are on common ground and we need to give and take when we are not. She is worth every bit of work and I hope I am too :)

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      I wish the same for you. Marriage is a beautiful thing even with the slight bumps we hurdle. Thanks for your comment.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

      As single guy, I hope my future marriage as the most beautiful things in my life. Thank you very much for writing and share with us. Vote up!


    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      We speak the same language! You did what you had to do to resolve your problem. I do what I need to do to retain my sanity :) marriage is no picnic but well worth the effort to maintain. Thanks for the comment!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      I thought this might be a joke and a bit exaggerated, however, marriage is tough sometimes. I quit sleeping in the bed with my husband until he decided to do something about his snoring. Now he uses snore strips and I get a quiet night of sleep. He didn't like sleeping alone but it really didn't bother me a bit as I just needed sleep! Rated up and funny.

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      Thank you so much for your timely comment :). I'm glad you see the humor in this and understand its an exaggeration. You are right sometimes we fight (not physically) then laugh and argue some more. We learn to smooth out the rough patches and continue along. This hub was meant to exemplifies that. We've been married 27 yrs and have no intention of calling it quits for any of these petty annoyances. I think that's darn right mature. Thanks again for the vote of confidence.

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 6 years ago


      Yes, this hub was meant as a joke. I'm sorry you don't get my humor and if I've offended you with my choice of words. Really? you've never thought "I could just kill him". In my circle I don't know anyone who hasn't at one time or another expressed it, obviously its figuratively speaking.

    • laidbacklady profile image

      Linda 6 years ago from Plumsted Township, NJ

      Alas, Bail up! I know a lot of us have REALLY gotten ticked off at our spouses, and with good reason, too! I can honestly say, though, I have never had a dream about killing him, although I did have one or two dreams about him changing into someone completely creepy and trying to kill me. Go figure! We fight, we laugh, we fight again. We scream and yell. That is life, sometimes....and Dardia, the maturity is often there, as is the commitment, but seamless? I don't see marriage, compromise, and seamless as synonymous. I wish! Good hub! Voted up and funny!

    • Dardia profile image

      Darlene Yager 6 years ago from Michigan

      I have to mark this interesting but sad. Of course sad is not an option but maybe it should be. It is sad that you married the wrong man or something of that sort. I have been angry with my husband from time to time but never enough to leave him or worse kill him, even in my dreams. I believe he feels the same.

      It is not always easy but when you are both committed and mature enough it can work fairly seamlessly.

      I'm sorry I think maybe your hub was meant as a joke but I have known too many relationships where they really have to struggle and may really want to take out their spouse.