- Gender and Relationships
Keep your MAN happy - 3 simple RULES all women need to know
WOMEN!!!...don't get mad at me for saying what I am about to say. If you don't like what you are reading, then there is a pretty good chance that you really do not want to know what a man wants. I am going to tell you this right up-front. What you are about to read may make you mad.....BUT I am going to give you some insight into how men think and feel. You have been warned!
So, what do men really want? Seems to be a pretty easy question to answer...yet after a few jokes which seem to always include something about beer, football and sex, the uncomfortable silence tells us that MOST women don't really know..and that, my friends, is a problem for all of us!!!
When I decided to write about this topic, I took a poll of about 35 of my female friends and online acquaintances, in which I asked them to rank the Top 5 things that men want. My guinea pigs included women that were married, single, dating and in "casual" relationships. Here are some of the more common answers I received.
- Ego Stroking
- Be allowed to watch/play TV/Sports
- Time out with the guys
- Unexpected/surprise affection/kissing etc.
- Surprised! (??really?)
- For their women to dress sexy
- "Oral pleasures"
- For the woman to be more adventurous in bed
- Romantic dinner/trip/movie
So this list seems pretty decent right? I can even agree with some of the things on this list. They are all nice/fun/cool things. BUT what DRIVES men? Really, you think that surprises are our hearts desire? Or Sports? This really identified how completely and totally ignorant most women are of what really drives men. How is it that men get the bad wrap for not understanding women, who tend to not understand themselves from one moment to the next...Holy Flipping Cow...men are as hard to understand as golden retrievers and yet MOST women manage to completely miss it.
I am a firm believer that there are only three rules that a woman need to understand if she wants to keep a man happy. This does not guarantee that your relationships will be perfect or that they will last forever, but they will go a VERY long way to improving your relationships with men....and when a man is happy, he wants to make his woman happy..... and I think you will agree that is a good thing!
1. Your man needs to know that you NEED and WANT HIM!
Listen, men are animals, we are territorial, aggressive and driven by our hormones. The VAST majority of what we men do in their lives is, in one way or another, predicated on attracting and retaining mates. The greatest high a man gets is when he feels that he has attracted the attention of a woman and that SHE considers HIM to be worthy of being her mate. I know I am speaking in biological terms, but much of who and what we are is determined instinct and hormones.
Men want to feel that we are the mate that you have selected. We want to feel that you have considered other men but SELECTED us to be with because we are the strongest, fastest, smartest, coolest, funniest and all around best possible male there is. Do you act in a way that makes your man feel like that? Even a strong woman needs to make her man feel like a man, so show him that you need him. Little things like asking for him to help you with something because you need his strength, ask his advice on something other than your hair or cloths. Tell him you are proud of him for something he has done, tell him how sexy he is, how much you want him, how attracted you are to him, how he makes your knees weak, how you think about him when you are away from him, how he makes you feel when you are together in bed. These are all things that are so easy to do and yet which MOST women do not do.
2. Men are problem solvers.
If you complain about something, we are going to try to fix it. Unless you give us warning first, save the "I just want you to listen" crap for your female friends. It is completely illogical to complain about something to us and then get mad at us when we start trying to solve the problem. Men do not speak "crazy" very well so save it for the girls. I am not saying that you can not talk to your man, but try to stick to the point OR disclose ahead of time that you are just trying to work something through in your head...we get that.
The flip side of this is that we try to solve ALL problems and will fail some of the time, we are big, dumb animals after all. Ego is a very important thing to a man and the last thing he needs when he has failed at something is the woman, his mate, his princess, to remind him he has failed. Almost as bad as nagging or "I told you so" is being overly sympathetic, that makes us feel like we are weak. When you man fails at something, recognize the failure, but don't dwell on it and just move on and don't treat us like children (though we are sometimes) don't transparently try to prop us up with something else we have done right...that is patronizing...just move on with life.
3. You need to love yourself if you want him to love you.
There are few things that are as un-sexy as someone with no self confidence. I do not mean you need to think that you are the hottest thing on earth, but have some sense of self-worth. If you think you are too fat, start working out and eating better. If you think you are not good in bed, read up on it, try new things, talk to your girlfriends about techniques. If you think your man is always looking at other women, make sure you are giving him something to look at, take care of yourself more, dress up more etc.
A lack of confidence and self-worth is like a self fulfilling prophecy, if you think like that, it affects your behavior and in turn will affect how others see you. There really is not anything that is more of a drag than dating a woman who never feels like she is good enough for you. Respect is the foundation of love and it is not possible to love someone that you do not respect and who does not respect themselves. So do things that make you happy, make a goal to get in shape for example and just do it. Don't talk about it, whine about it, plan it etc, just do it, and do it without talking to your man about it all the time. You will be blown away with the attention you start getting when you start paying more attention to yourself for no other reason than because you want to better yourself.
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