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Hiding Money From Your Partner. Is It Really Wrong?!!

Updated on October 7, 2019
SpottedCafe profile image

I attend the University of The Living. All my education comes from first-hand experience's life throws my way.

Artist Unknown
Artist Unknown

Couples Hiding & Lying About Money

Read an article by Quinten Fottrel. His research indicates that millions of couples in relationships have a banking account, credit card or money stashed away. The worst part, it indicates with his studies that it is being kept a secret from the person's partner. There is also a quote where he is to say that many have been known to say there is worst things than infidelity. And with that, I found me looking deeper into rather there are worst things than someone cheating on you.

Storing Money

Before I truly begin my descent into the realities of truth and lies, I am going to touch base on storing money, keeping it a secret, and basically talk a lot about lying in general versus telling the truth.

My Situation
Having been married for a significant amount of time where the first half of the marriage he controlled everything money-wise, it was very hard for me being a stay at home mom to escape the hells of mental torment I was encountering. It was let known to me, that with no income, no judge would ever grant me rights over my children, and there, with that, my thoughts on money hoarding have been sculpted.

In full agreeance to having your own little stash, it does not mean lying should be supported. Which is why infidelity happens in the first place. It all starts with a little white lie.

Lying ... How Deep is Your Love?!
Lying is not about forgetting to tell your partner something for a day or two.
Lying is not about not telling every little detail of what is happening in your life minute by minute.

Lying is far deeper than that.

Lying is purposely going out of your way to not inform your partner of a situation that you were a part of, and it affects them directly, as well. As in their welfare or you going against something the both of you already promised the other to do or not to.

Lying is not when you do not tell every second of your day, to support a partner's mental happiness to know every little thing. If the ego trip is happening, that is more of a mental awareness issue, perhaps more on the lines of insecurity, than it actually is a lie.

No person, not even your lifetime partner, no matter what one thinks, is "required" to inform you of everything. We are all in the right to having privacy and separate friends. We are all still living our own personal lives. Choosing to share your time and space with someone does not mean they are allowed to dictate what you will and will not do to fit their fancy. We all agree to a partnership. Not a forfeit of our rights to still have a personal life of our own.

Storing Money
Now back to this.

Heck yes. Store you some. You are working. It is your right. It belongs to you. Even in a committed relationship where bills are joined together, it does not (again) give the other partner the right to rule thumb over incoming money. My personal banking account belongs to me. Yours belongs to you. After all those years of marriage, no one will ever keep me trapped should I want to buy a piece of furniture, or to escape the gates of Lucifer's inferno.

Mental Demanding is Abusive
Entrapment for anyone to go through is a hard life to live in. To be free enough to come out with the truth, because the truth will not bite you in the butt, is the relationship we all deserve to be in. But if you have to lie about your doings, you need to dig a little deeper into why you feel this way. It is easily one of two reasons, and both are mentally draining. Mentally damaging. To any relationship.

The Reasons
(1) You are a liar. Secret keeping is what you do best. You are a master pro at it and nothing will stop you.
(2) Your partner has a trust issue even when the truth is spoke of. They throw it back in your face at every corner. Telling a white lie keeps the peace in your life. For a little while, anyway.


It Is Up To You

Author Unknown
Author Unknown

It Is Up To You ...

At the end of the day, when the door closes, it truly is up to you on rather you want to store money. It is also up to you on rather you want to tell the truth to your partner or carry on with the fib. But you really need to examine why you find it important to do.

Worries About Breaking Up

Anyone who has no worries and believes their relationship will never see an issue for fifty years is the ones (in my opinion) setting themselves up for failure. No matter how in love someone is, at some point life is going to throw a curveball But for the majority of us who live in a world where divorce and break up is supported on every other billboard, storing money for a backup, get out of jail card is easier done, than said.

Back in the whole lot of times ago, this would have never been a subject. Men ruled the nest. No matter how far back you look, those days are long over. Now, we are in a place and space in time where women work and the men stay at home. More women are ruling the home cash wise. And while there is no wrong in that, there is also no wrong in taking care of your of yourself.

Storing money could be for a nice bottle of cologne. In most cases though, when you hide this storing from your partner, you already have leaving on the mind.

Just do what you have to do for the right reasons. The rest will work itself out. Just know that no one is a prisoner of their situation. Want to store your hard-earned money for your personal reasons? It is your life. It will always be ... Your Life.

Comments

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      18 months ago from Chicago

      On the surface (hiding) is lying or being deceptive.

      Most people don't want to be married to a liar or someone who apparently does not trust them.

      It also does not make sense for you to stay with someone YOU don't trust either. In a best case scenario a person may be hiding money to surprise their mate with an expensive gift or to make a major purchase for the couple, possibly pay for a romantic getaway...etc.

      Sometimes people hide money in order to facilitate their ESCAPE from a toxic relationship/marriage. In other instances the couple has a parent/child relationship whereby the "parent" feels obligated to hide money for potential emergencies or to ensure the bills get paid.

      The one caveat is in the event you're going through a divorce. If it is discovered you are hiding money it will not play well with a judge. A lot of men in particular have been caught trying to hide money and assets from their future ex-wives. If there was no prenup in most states the couple is expected to split all assets in half that were accumulated during the marriage.

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