- Gender and Relationships
How to Keep your Friendship
As Aristotle said "Friendship is composed of a single soul inhabited by two bodies".
Each of us has a number of friends. They can be our classmates, pets, siblings, mom or dad, our lover and even the people we meet at social networking sites. We need them in our lives as we can’t possibly live in this life without having somebody whom we can share our smiles with and depend on. We laugh with them, cry with them, hang-out with them and most of the times we share fun jokes with them. They are the ones who walk with us in our journey in this world. They celebrate with our successes and mourn with our failures. Indeed, friendship is one of the most beautiful things we experience in our life. But what if we get close of losing our friends? We can't expect everything to be perfect every time as life is a constant cycle of ups and downs, and so is with friendship. We can’t expect a friendship to be perfect; without having flaws. There are times when we get into a fight with them. Quarrel with them over some serious matters and even get mad with them over "nonsense" misunderstanding. Friends should not disregard these type of things though as this could be very unhealthy and could serve as a potential big threat to friendship’s ascendancy. Yet, these circumstances are inevitable and completely natural as we are just people who are able to commit mistakes. As "friends" we should establish values and virtues of friendship to overcome such impediments.
Here are some things to remember to keep your friends:
The most important attribute of all interdependent relationships is “trust”. We get close and make friends with people because we trust them, am I right? As fostering trust in a relationship is important it also develops confidence within us and also to our friends. Believing that someone is fully-capable of achieving success despite of how incompetent a person can be is one key example of establishing our trust. Relying into someone also exemplifies trust. As I would like to stress that relying to your friends for answers in school assignments is a form of “laziness”, relying which takes the value of trust should mean “mutual-dependence” and not “self-serving”. There are ways on how can relationships establish trust:
- Be familiar with one another. When people become more familiar with their friends, they are more likely to trust each other.
- Trust also can develop based on similarities/commonalities, such as being employees of the same company, belonging to the same student club organization, or having same interests and hobbies like playing tennis or favorite music bands.
- “We” instead of “I”. Move as one in reaching common goals instead of being highly-individualized. The more that you work together the more that you foster trust by exemplifying “oneness” and “ belonging”.
- Appreciate and admire your friends. Praise them when they do something excellent. People believed that flattery is effective in bringing about trust, it must always perceive as genuine though.
- Sometimes, we establish trust even in the absence of any rational reason. We put our trust in people even if we are not familiar with them and even if we do not share any similarity or likeness with them. Trust, in this sense, operates from our unconscious mind.
Respect your Friends
Each of us is unique in its own. In skin complexion, cultural background, in our interests and hobbies, likes and dislikes, religion institutions, philosophies in life and etc. While being unique and different from others make individuals appreciate their selves to be real and to be genuine, sometimes, people would feel particularly stressed especially when they realized that their attitudes and self-characteristics differ from those of their friends. These people should avoid attempting to change their selves just to attune with the people around them. It is all-important to point out that being different from others is not a thing to get depress for because this actually builds up our identity and makes us who we really are. Friends should not only look and acknowledge likeness and sameness but also individual differences as friendship is not solely about finding "comfort and sense of belonging" to people similar to us. Friendship is about accepting and embracing one’s unique identity and existence. We should always remember that respect is not received but is gained. So, respect your friends as much as you want them to respect you.
Time and Presence
Presence is always accompanied with time, as one cannot possibly show his/her presence without having a time to spend on. When someone is dear to us, we always want them to feel special and loved. Like with our friends, we want them to feel our presence and to let them know that we are always by their side. I believe that the greatest gift a person can offer is to give his/her time to his/her friends, because you are giving away a part of your life that cannot be brought back. It is much as like as giving your life to them. Good are those friends who are with us to celebrate every success we achieved, but true are those ones who mourn with us every failure we encountered.
I encourage you all to become a “True friend” who are always there to help their friends stand every time they fall, a true friend who will always make them feel that they are not all alone in this world.
For friendship to last, it is highly desirable to demonstrate well-mannered and well-structured communication once in a while. While this proves to develop confidence in us, this also exudes and maintains good-relations. We communicate with our friends because we like to keep in touch. This holds true especially to those who are relatively distant from each other (e.g. childhood best friends who both have a family and living away from each other or social networking friends). Well-communicated interaction should also exemplify a sense of “safeness”, where one is able to express and share his/her innermost thoughts without having the fear of being “rejected” or “snubbed”. An ideal friendship where one is freely able to say his/her genuine idea despite of how opposite it is from his/her friends. Because in true friendship “respect” and “understanding” prevail and not the “selfish” and “indifferent” attitude of an “inconsiderate” heart.
Friends may come and go as nothing in this world lasts forever but in our hearts will always be engraved a wondrous journey we have made.
Describe your "best friend"
© 2013 Lanao G