- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
5 Sure Ways to Keep the Spark Alive
When two people are together for quite sometime, there always comes a point when familiarity sets and every day life becomes predictable and lead to boredom in a couple. Keeping the love alive is an everyday challenge to most couples as the reality of everyday sets in.
Note that it is always a two-way street. Each partner will have to exert a double amount of effort to keep those embers burning. Practicing the following tips would be a good start for any couple.
1. Give each other both time and space apart
It is often said that familiarity breeds contempt and this rings true even in the most loving relationships. It is important to give each other time and space apart. It can be a few days each week for each person to take a breather alone. Give your partner some alone time to recharge without you. It can be a timeout from you in a sense but it will benefit the relationship in the long run.
Allow your partner time to meet friends without you and even engage in activities or hobbies that he loves without you tagging along. It is these times apart that will make your partner become a whole and it allows for him to miss you as well. Remember that before you got together, your partner is a complete whole, so never forget that.
If he wants to go out and have a few drinks with his friends occasionally, why not? Don't make such a big deal out of it by making him feel as if having a good time is a crime, not unless he does it every week, then you need to ask him why. Women also need time to unwind and her man must give her the freedom for 'alone' time away from home. She may want to read a good book over at a cafe or prefer to meet up friends, even get a massage or pamper herself. By all means let her enjoy these things every once in a while. Never deprive each other of this important alone time
It is also possible to give each other space in your home where you can do things alone. Set a side a study or any other space where you or your partner can be left alone to do things without any interference.
2. Go out on regular special dates
Treat each other by going out on regular dates sans the kids. Once a week is highly recommended, but if your time won't allow it, twice a month will do. This special dates will restore your feelings of intimacy and bring you back to a time when you were still dating. It need not be fancy nor expensive and can be as simple as a dinner out or a movie date. If you have the budget, by all means, go over the top since you have more leeway to engage in more luxurious activities.Make short out-of-town trips, or spend a day of pampering in the spa with your partner.
Take this opportunity to have real fun with your partner. Go out of your way and look fabulous by dressing your part and make the night special by wearing that special outfit. You will soon see your partner in a new light and appreciate him or her in many ways than before.
3. Take good care of yourself
This works for both parties. Women must take care of themselves and work some effort to look pleasing at all times. This holds true whether you are a working woman or a stay-at-home. Nothing beats having a wife who takes really good care of herself. No need to go over the top here. Look tidy and neat and try putting on a sweet scent for your man. Men are largely visual creatures, so hit the right buttons, you will not only look good but also gain added confidence.
Men should also do their part and control those nasty habits when you're in front of the other, even with your wife. If you are too busy to even care about your appearance, then at least make sure you smell nice. A clean shower always does the trick. Putting your best face forward will show the other person how much you value them.
4. Keep growing - learn a new skill or develop a new passion
There comes a point when two people become so familiar with each other that sparks no longer fly and mystery is nowhere to be found. Avoid being in the same rut by developing a passion, hobby, skill, or knowledge far removed and totally different from that of your partner. It's not uncommon to see couples coming from the same line of work and expectedly, they end up talking about the same things and do the same activity day in and day out. Develop an interest different from that of your partner. It will provide a fresh infusion to your predictable life. Don't stop there and continue to learn a different set of skills and knowledge each time. This will help spice things a bit and put that needed 'bling' in your marriage.
5. Skip the petty arguments, criticisms and nagging
Petty quarrels are often resolved so save yourself time and energy by skipping it. Nagging is also counter-productive so control your tendency to nag when you can communicate effectively without the shouting and 'broken record' part. Constant tension caused by petty quarrels will stress both of you, a fast way to lose that loving feeling you wanted to get back.
Nip complaining habit in the bud by taking responsibility. Instead of complaining, suggest a way to solve any problem.
It is also best to limit criticism about your partner to a minimum. If there is a way to avoid it, then good. Most couples become guilty of his habit but note that criticism hurts the person that you are dealing with. If it is not avoidable, try to say it in the most respectful and positive manner. Constant criticism will be counterproductive in the long run and easily builds a wall of dislike between you.
Don't fight over money. If there is less to go around, never quarrel about it. It's rather more productive to find alternative ways to earn on the side than to bicker endlessly as to who made more or who spend more. Nothing irks a man more when a woman questions his earning capability. On the part of a woman, be sensitive and learn to curb your spending when you know that the family's finances is limited. Learn to live below your means to prevent further problems.way to solve any problem.
Instead, practice giving your partner sincere compliments. Show your appreciation to each other. You may not know it, but your appreciative words are music to his or her ears. More importantly, learn to appreciate and say sincere 'Thank yous' to your partner every time he does something for you.
Whisper 'I love you's' to each other before you sleep, upon waking up, or even while your partner is asleep. Mind experts say that even while in deep sleep, the mind's subconscious is still active, so take advantage of that fact. Do it regularly and expect wonderful changes in your relationship. Hug your partner at every chance you get. This is specially true when you sleep. Hugging or embracing induces sound sleep. So get those arms working.