ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Keeping a Relationship Successful: A Man's Perspective

Updated on September 11, 2017
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Love—successful love—lasting love—takes two people. So often we look at couples who are happy and wonder what their secret is—how is their relationship working—when you see and experience many unsuccessful or failed ones?

It can be easy to get discouraged when you continue to have relationship after relationship that never reach the next level or ends up completely failing.

Are they failing due to something you are saying or possibly doing? Or maybe it's just you—you're not good enough to be loved. Stop! That is not true. When it comes down to it, it's usually the type of men we are attracting—emotionally unavailable and immature. Yikes! To stop this cycle, we must…

  • Know that we are worthy of being loved—believing this with our entire heart and soul.
  • Stop rushing the processes of love—this can be a disastrous situation.
  • Don't be afraid to take the proper time to know a guy and let him know you—not some made up version in order to trap him.
  • Stop freaking out about our age—aka: our “baby time clock.”

Here's the thing, the fact that our siblings or friends are in relationships or getting married—and having babies doesn't mean we are meant to be on their exact same path. Get out of your head. The only path you are meant to be on is your own.

Even if you really want children, know that a quick marriage can tend to lead to an even quicker divorce.

Do you really want to be a single mom, with a messy divorce and having to deal with stressful custody issues? I wouldn't. Many women who really want children are doing it on their own—sperm banks, adoption or fertility clinics. Yes, marriage before a baby is not ideal, however in this day and age it is not the only option nor imperative. Personally, I would never marry a man just because I want a child. Relationships are already challenging without adding a kid to the mix of a dysfunctional relationship.

Keeping a relationship successful takes work. If you're not willing to put in the work then why be in a relationship? And if only one person is doing most of work—feeling unappreciated can enter in. This feeling can cause fights, people to cheat, or break-ups to occur. Yikes! So what type of work needs to be done to keep a relationship successful? Love.

Love is a two way street and what ultimately makes a relationship work—successfully—actually has to do with the union of what both people think and feel.

In other words, it is not all about what you want ladies...sorry. I have so many girlfriends who have amazing loving relationships and it has to do with having a wonderful man by their side. Don't get me wrong, having a successful relationship doesn't mean that my friends never fight with their significant others or spouses, or that they are happy twenty-four seven. What it does mean is that they both work together, love together and validate each other’s feelings—even when they do not agree.

When it comes to having—and wanting—a successful relationship it can be easy for women to spew out all of the things we think we need and exactly what works, but a man also has a big part to do with the success of a relationship.

Well ladies, I have asked various men who are either in successful relationships or marriages as to what has made their relationship successful and this is what they have said:

Top 29 successful relationship hints from a male’s perspective:

1. A relationship is 100% from each party not 50-50. 50-50 is how you split things during a divorce.

2. GOD and Faith. A solid relationship must have these two factors first—in order to have a solid foundation.

3. Discuss money values; do not let it destruct a good relationship.

4. Both people involved in a relationship need and must know what they want out of a relationship.

5. After knowing what you want, each person must verbalize what they want to each other.

6. Communication is key; no matter how insignificant it sounds it is still a key component.

7. There are no wrong questions, so ask away or you will not know the real person.


9. Good men are a dime a dozen, great men or great relationships are worth their weight in gold.

10. Choose your words well as they can be weapons for both sides of the relationship. Again, NEVER bring up the past as it is the past.

11. Give the benefit of the doubt before judging and jumping to irrational conclusion.

12. You must be comfortable with YOU, before you can ever be comfortable with another person.

13. Compromise is a must whether it be work, the car we want or the (so called perfect) companion/relationship.

14. Both people MUST be open and willing to give up things.

15. Be your partner’s advocate. Championing each other’s career and personal goals—talk through them together.

16. Both parties in a good relationship need not worry/depend about what the other parties friends thinks whether it be good, bad or different.

17. BE A GOOD LISTENER AS WELL AS TALKER—you must be able to interrupt the long winded person without fearing prosecution.

18. Make sure both goals are the same at the end of the story—make monthly goals.

19. The relationship MUST be better out of the bedroom than it is in the bedroom. If the relationship is strong, the bedroom will take care of itself.

20. Be willing to give as much as you get.

21. Plan date nights and trips together.

22. Never reject spontaneity it keeps things fresh. It needs to go both ways.

23. Tread lightly on people’s dreams.

24. Both sides need to give and receive complements.

25. Love requires sacrifice from both people.

26. Be Realistic—realize that not every relationship is perfect and the grass is not always greener. If you can find 2-3 key qualities in one person hang on to that shit!

27. Patience, everything worth having takes time.

28. Remembering that intimacy is multi-dimensional. The sexual component is important but making time to connect is equally so.

29. Be open to talking about everything—with a family, so much of weekday talk is checklist-related (parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, practice times, paying bills, etc.). Taking the time to really talk is paramount.

Communication—talking—was the biggest component that all these men emphasized. Yes, many men aren't great communicators, however there plenty of men who are. Often it's about understanding each other’s' communication style—most men shut down listening or caring if nitpicking and yelling is involved—as well as if their love language is ignored (5 Love Languages by Gary D Chapman). Remember ladies no one is perfect, however that also doesn't mean that you ignore obvious Red Flags: no guy should talk to you disrespectfully, emotionally or mentally abuse you—Period!

There were two other important factors that one of my married guy friends also shared that really resonated with me:

1. Not everything is a big deal. Scale issues so that important topics are always talked about and small things go unmentioned. If something is hurtful or disrespectful, address it immediately. If something is annoying, really think about how important it is to communicate that to your partner. Don’t nitpick or you will grow to resent one another.

2. Be the best part of each other’s' day (I love that). Sounds simple but the people closest to us can get the worst of us after a long, hard day. Decompress on the way home, even talk about the crappy day you had with your partner and then let it go. Don’t make someone your punching bag and remember that complaining or sulking for hours is taxing for your partner and if it becomes a daily thing, it’s really unattractive.

Ladies, know there are many amazing men out there, be hopeful that you will find one. Put the energy out to the Universe/God and you will find a great man who will respect, value and want to put forth the effort to be with you—and only you. You deserve to be with a man who wants to keep a relationship successful with you versus tearing it apart. Do not give up and go find your own unique love story!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)