- Gender and Relationships
Keys To A Great Marriage
If you expect a person writing a hub with this title to have a P.H.D. in psychology or years of college in a related field, you are reading the wrong hub.
I have none of those. I have just a high school education with just a bit of business classes in college. I work a factory job and have never counseled a marriage or done any type of training in this field at all.
My wife has wanted me to write this hub and I have procrastinated long enough. You see, Jonda (my wife) passed away just this last November. It is time to fulfill the promise I made to her.
Jonda's input will be here too; how you ask? Jonda and I had our 30th wedding anniversary on January 9th, 2011; just 1 1/2 months after her going to be with Jesus. The average marriage in the United States lasts 8 years. I believe that gives Jonda and me the credentials.
We had both good and bad times. I will explain how we battled through those times and I pray that this hub will help other marriages.
Jonda, my love, I write this for you and I pray that all the "right" words will be penned. Thank you for being my mate, lover and partner for life. Your smile will never leave my mind. I miss you.
Demons or Friends
Jonda- A morally straight girl who was very shy and primarily a homebody.
Greg- A wild one who essentially partied all night and slept all day.
How would these two make a marriage work? It wasn't easy, but love and forgiveness was the keys.
To start with, we both entered our marriage with our own sets of friends. As you can see from our make-ups, our friends did not see eye-to-eye on most subjects. Our friends on both sides said our marriage wouldn't last. They were wrong and I can tell you why; our marriage started on the Words of God. We swore it would be forever and we took those words to heart. We did not "throw" our friends away, but when they said comments like this, we either told them to shut up or we let it go in one ear and out the other.
There was a time or two that we did let our friends get to us, but through prayer and communication we worked through those tough times.
The key we always lived by is: marriage before friendships. No matter what!
I hear so many people say something about 50-50. Marriage does not work on a 50-50 basis. We found, after a few years, that we each have to give 100% at all times. 110% is even better. Yes, honey, I will wash the dishes. Greg, I will mow the lawn today since you worked a double shift. Those statements within our household kept our marriage strong and bright.
There will be down times for one or the other, but using the 110% rule will get you through those times.
Money can be a "killer" of marriages. Communication is the key! Make a budget and follow it. If both partners realize that all money that comes in is to work for the whole marriage, it will work. A "what is mine is mine and what is yours is mine" attitude will not work! We found that out early in marriage.
Let me first say that if your marriage is primarily built on sex or looks, it is probably doomed.
To put it all in context, Jonda and I didn't have sex for the last 8 years because of her health. That didn't stop the love and adoration we had for each other.
Breaking news: you will live without sex. Yes, it is a great benefit of marriage, but only that, a benefit.
The most important part of our marriage was God being in the center of it. Without God, we would have had nothing. With God we had everything!
Pure, unadulterated love comes from God. Isn't this the kind of love you want for your marriage?
Jonda and I read the Bible together and prayed together. Without these two acts, I doubt our marriage would have lasted.
You will never get every answer for your marriage in a book or on a hub. It takes fighting the battle. You see, there is a force on the other side that doesn't want your marriage to work. Recognizing that force is a big part of the battle.
Talk with your love. Hug him or her. Intimate times are important. Communication is ultra-important.
Marriage is a fight, will you last for all the rounds? We did, all thanks to God.
If you have any marriage questions I may be able to help with, feel free to comment. I cannot promise I will have an answer, but I will sure give it my best shot.
May your marriage last as long or longer than ours.
© G.L. Boudonck