- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Kiss and Tell: A Kissing Guide
“A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That’s basic spelling every woman knows.”
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Why kissing is important
In people, kissing to express affection is almost universal. About 90 percent of human cultures do it. I am an aficionado of the kiss. There's no other act as simple yet so intimate. I like things slow, steady and subtle. And spontaneous.The light suction, the flick of the lip, a playful nibble, the deep advance and retreat of the tongue - a good kiss is an improvisation of melodies, flirtatious staccatos, and passionate brassy crescendos. A good kiss is a rapport enacted physically, like sex, but more erotic.
For most woman, kissing is considered to be part of foreplay. Fact is, that a woman decides within five minutes after meeting a man, whether or not she’ll have sex with him. There’s one catch though… Most women I know, myself included, may initially decide we'll have sex with a guy, but when we find out he's a bad or a mediocre kisser, we change our minds entirely. At first hand I can tell you, that we’ll never have sex with a guy after a lousy kiss. Our lips part at the doorstep and it’s goodbye forever.
But we aren’t heartless though. We'll never, ever say "God, you're a lousy kisser. I was going to have sex with you until just this moment." This is one of the major differences between men and women. Men are more willing to have sex with someone they considered to be a bad kisser than women. They tend to think kissing should lead to sex no matter what. And they prefer a different kiss too. Men like wet kisses, with lots of tongue action.
Kissing is clearly a much bigger potential deal-breaker for women than for men. A woman can't get past a bad kiss. Experience has shown most women, that a bad kiss only spells trouble down the road, so to speak. After all, if he hasn't mastered kissing and fails to see its sensual possibilities, what hope is there for, ahem, anything else?
So what makes people kiss poorly? The most common mistake of bad kissers is excessive frenching, that is, the over-use of the tongue. They're not sure what else to do; they confuse passion with penetration.
In response, at first, you have to french back. If you make bad kissers feel self-conscious, they'll never improve. So you indulge them, switching the direction of the tongue-swirl periodically to keep the semblance of spontaneity. Then, right before the monotony becomes a turn-off, go for a lip. Choose top or bottom; the more thickly fleshed is probably the best one. Once you've focused on just one lip, you create so many options: simple suction; the lip switch from top to bottom, or bottom to top; the sly addition of the tongue; escalation to a full-on frencher, then a teasing retreat; the nibble. The wonderful thing about a lip lock is that once it's established, any kissing partner with a modicum of creativity will discover the possibilities and try the combinations. All you have to do is reward them by returning the favors.
More important than any single technique, though, is a general principle: you have to awaken your bad kisser's creativity.
So now that we’ve established that kissing is important, no matter what, have you ever thought of how many kinds of kisses there are ? Unfortunately there are a few types of kisses, most of us don't enjoy. So before we go to the 'good stuff', here are some different kinds of kisses you should avoid at all cost.
The Lizard : Your tongue darts in and out of his/her mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.
The Roto Rooter : Your tongue ventures so far down his/her throat that it actually begins to choke her.
The Swordfish: You operate your tongue much like a swordfish, and use your nose in a blunt and violent manner.
The Deep Sea Diver: You rarely come up for air.
Frozen in Time: You never change the position, posture, or angle of your head.
The Squid: You seem to emit an awful smell and taste. All he/she can think of is how to slip you a breath mint.
Many kinds of kisses
And now it's up to the 'good stuff'. This is just a simple list, but I should warn you not to use too many different types of kissing at once. It might be considered a bit too much, but if you're kissing partner is into you, you'll have lots of opportunity to try them all.
The most popular way of kissing… the French kiss. It’s a passionate kiss in which tongues touch each other; this often causes a sensation throughout the rest of the body that can’t be ignored.
A very seductive type of kiss. Instead of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.
This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your partner. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.
This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.
While in an open-mouthed kiss, suck in deeply so you're sucking the air from your partner. The greatest thrill when doing this kiss is the feeling of breathlessness it produces. You can surprise your partner with this kiss because 80 percent of people have never been vacuumed !
Passionately, look into the eyes of your partner, seducing him or her, moving in close slowly with your lips half open ready to deliver your kiss. The moment you touches your partner’s lips, close your lips slowly, then slowly open them again. Move away when your partner closes in, but move forward again before he or she got the chance to look at you, giving your partner a real good kiss. When they are indulged and so lost into your kiss, move away again, looking as passionately into their eyes. Now you got them! Once you started the flame, there is no way that it is going to be put out just that easy. Your partner will definitely want more !
With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.
The Spiderman kiss involves kissing someone whose face is upside-down from yours, so your top lip kisses their bottom lip and vice versa.
Sip a very small amount of your favourite drink, either hot or cold and when you just begin to kiss, pour the drink into your partner's mouth. It will leave behind a sensational feeling. Some love this type of kiss and some cringe with the thought of it.
A kiss with your eyelashes. Put your eye really close to your partner's cheek and flutter your lashes upon their skin. You can also do this on their lips.
Pass an ice cube back and forth in mouth while French kissing.
Marathon Kissing See how long you can kiss for (try 5 - 10 minutes straight)
This technically isn't a kiss but a red mark (a bruise, really) left on the skin after someone sucks hard enough on it. Hickey's hurt a little to get, but some think the sucking feels good, especially on the side of the neck. It can be embarrassing to walk around with a hickey, so before you start sucking, get permission first.
Surprise your kissing partner by gently sucking his or her tongue. Don't suck to hard, you don't want to hurt your partner. Otherwise it's very pleasing!
When you first start kissing your partner gently lick their lips with the tip of your tongue. Then blow or sigh into their lips, causing a tingling feeling that will intensify your kiss for sure.
The Tickle Kiss
In this kiss you make use of the fact that the roof of the mouth is the most ticklish part of the body. Begin a normal French kiss and (be sure your partner understands the game) stroke your tongue across the roof of each other's mouth. This will create almost unbearable chills down your spine and the winner is the person who can stand them because the loser pulls away. The best part about this kiss is that it is different every time and always fun.
When you're French kissing, if/when you pull back, and before your mouths meet again, you can flick your tongue up and down quickly against the other person who is doing the same. It's very teasing and fun to see how long it lasts. It’s hard to resist going strong after a while of flicking.
You do this after you and your partner have Frenched or really kissed a lot. What you do is just simply touch tongues - like the tip of your tongue. You may want to move it around but you don't have to. You don't do it inside your mouth you do it out in the open.
Make sure a bed or couch or chair is behind your partner and when French kissing gently push your partner onto the chair or whatever is behind them. Very good for serious couples or just beginners.
Hold your partner's chin with your middle, index, and thumb and tilt their head in the right direction. Continue to hold it as you kiss.
Before you go to kiss your partner, apply lip venom to your lips when he isn't looking. Lip venom is a safe cosmetic item that you can buy at cosmetic stores and what it does is it draws the blood to your lips, making them red and tingly. A little bit goes a very long way and can still be passed up until probably about a half an hour after applying. When your partner kisses you, he will have this sensual feeling running through his lips for the rest of the day.
Take a hot pepper and roll it on your lips then kiss your partner. It gives the kiss a kick. (Note use peppers as hot as you or your partner can take, but not too hot or it will just burn and ruin the kiss.)
Tell your partner to place their tongue deeply into mouth deeply... you VERY GENTLY "chew" on the back part of their tongue... do not suck. This will create a sensation in other places that can be very exciting!
In a hot moment - creates major anticipation - barely touch lips with lips slightly parted... then breath your partner's breath... moving heads slowly to experience different sensations... lips touching on and off slightly... it is a very teasing sort of kiss and builds passion tremendously.
Tongue Ring Kissing
What you do is, if your partner has a tongue ring and the two of you are French kissing, mess with his/her tongue ring while kissing and it gives your partner chills and excitement/happiness because a lot of people with tongue rings love that. Or if the two of you have a tongue ring have a tongue ring WAR! What you do is keep his/her tongue away from your tongue ring, while you're messing with their tongue ring. (NOTE: don't Tangle tongue rings together because that will be a disaster!)
Do What You Want Kiss
This is always fun. One of you just lies there, and the other does whatever he or she wants to give pleasure. Then, you switch roles. See who can give the most satisfying kiss, with the other not participating at all.
Enjoy your kissing !
Never feel like you have to do something you don’t want to, whether it makes you uncomfortable or you just don’t enjoy it. Most importantly, have fun! While there is some effort involved in perfecting your kissing skills, it should mostly be a fun, enjoyable activity for both of you.