- Gender and Relationships
Dear TruSoul: "Kiss me Like A Woman"
Lately my girlfriend has been asking if she can dress me up like a woman before we have sex. It seemed weird to me, but I went with it. In fact, the first couple of times we did that, it didn't bother me so much. But now she wants to do this all of the time.
She says that all I have to do is wear makeup and her underwear, but it's beginning to creep me out. Especially since she revealed that she has been with women sexually on a few occasions, though she demands that she isn't a homosexual. What's it all about Alfie?
It's a power trip Brother. The best of both worlds. But mostly, she knows that you'll do it. So I say, if you're really not into it, tell her so and stop doing it.
Now if she really loves you, she'll understand that no one should be forced to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. However, if she gets an attitude and tries to kick you out ... My advice is to keep on walking.
Recently I fell in love with a married woman. I knew that it was wrong, but I wasn't happy in my marriage and neither was she.
In my case, my wife was taking me for granted and satisfied with having sexual relations once or twice every 3 months or more. In her case, her husband had taken a job out of town without discussing it with her, leaving her with their four kids in his mother's house -- a mother who didn't treat her well or help care for her high functioning Autistic grandbabies.
We met at work and clicked automatically. Now we're both single and engaged. But as much as I love her, I can't help feeling a little apprehensive about our future. I just don't know why.
Perhaps you're worried that she'll leave you like she left her husband; like you left your wife.
In the end, if you truly love one another and believe that you're supposed to be together, put God first and make sure that He has blessed this coming together. If not, you may be doomed to repeat your past mistakes.
TruSoul, there's a guy who is interested in me, but he hasn't asked me out. How do I convey to him that I'm open to being his girlfriend? I really want him to be my boyfriend. I'm 26 if that matters.
An age old question I suppose. Don't be too obvious, but make yourself available to offer him a smile and a kind word when possible. Don't be afraid to be a little bold and ask him out for lunch. Something like this would send me over the moon personally. Take it slowly though. Judge carefully how the lunch goes and wait a few days and see if he asks you out. If not, ask him again to hang out. But if he doesn't see that you're interested in him after this, don't ask again. He may not see you the way you see him.
TruSoul I am in love with two men. I've been crazy in love for nine years; married with children. I have no intention on divorcing my husband, but I made friends with another man who is married. We haven't cheated, but I think that it is inevitable.
He and I have discontinued communication several times to insure that cheating doesn't happen, but we miss talking to each other. One phone call leads to another, leading to meeting for lunch, which leads to long glances and flirting and sexual desire. Part of me wants to make love to him, hoping that the mystery will be gone. But I really do want to be faithful. What should I do?
Trust me ... You're right about what might happen if you continue your friendship with this gentleman. The fact that you both are happy with one another, but unable to leave your spouses says a lot. You enjoy the emotional gifts of your friendship, but fear leaving the security of what you already have.
You really need to decide what you really want out of life. I don't endorse divorce unless there is abuse involved. But you haven't given that impression of your husband. I would advise counseling with a minister or professional therapist to help you iron out the wrinkles. I wish you love.
I have been married for a year and a half. Secretly I've have been seeing one of his friends who is also married. This has been going on for about six months now. I feel bad, because I love my husband, but his friend is a way better lover. In fact, I haven't had relations with my husband in five months. I know that I'm wrong, but I'm happy. Why is this?
Did you read the above letter ... Oh my. The only difference is that you are actually involved sexually with your friend. For the majority of your marriage even. If you think that you're happier with this other person, it may be time to let your husband go and be with someone who truly appreciates the sanctity of marriage. Just beware. Once you're seeing your lover full time, you may find that you had everything you needed at home.
TruSoul, I can't get over my ex boyfriend, no matter how hard I try. It should be a no brainer since he just had a baby with a former girlfriend of mine that he was seeing behind my back. But I keep thinking about the good times ... Help.
Somehow, I have a feeling that this ex boyfriend of yours may have cheated on you to be with your former friend. Am I right?
If that is true, why do you want to be with him? Chances are he is sniffing around you a lot. Either he misses what he had, or maybe -- just maybe -- he wanted his cake and pie from the beginning. Some dudes are just a little greedy that way.
Weigh the pros and cons. If the pros outweigh the cons, then go for it. But only if he is completely done with the other young lady. And especially only if he is taking care of his baby. You don't want to share him. And you definitely don't want to be involved with a deadbeat dad. Please don't let your memories of good times interfere with your common sense. Take care.
I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year. He's 22 years old and I'm 35 years old. He recently moved in with me.
We spend all of our free time together. My kids are okay with him, except for my oldest son who thinks that he's not much of a man for not having a job.
I can't say that I love him, though he's claimed his love for me on several occasions. But I enjoy our sex life a great deal.
The problem is that he sees me struggling with my six kids, trying to keep the gas and water on grocery in the fridge, but when he gets a little money he doesn't even offer to help. Nor does he believe in staying in at night if we have the house to ourselves. Instead he'd rather go out with his boys. Which I don't understand, because I can guarantee that he'd have way more fun with me than with his friends. I don't know ... What do you think
Sounds like you're expecting a boy to act like a man and he's just not ready yet.
You want support that he doesn't know how to give. You want a father for your kids, but at least one of them doesn't even respect him. In fact, your son sounds a lot more mature than your boyfriend.
The real question is: Don't you want more out of a relationship than just good sex?
I'm 30 years old and I have no direction in life. I'm an only child and they continue to treat me like a little girl.
I am a virgin. I've had only one date in my entire life and that was platonic. I have no girlfriends that I can hang out with. But then I only go to work, back home and occasionally to the movies.
I live at home and when I do go away for the weekend or for the summer, its with my parents. I've had the same job since my junior year of high school. My life is humdrum and I don't know what to do about it.
Sad & Lonely
Dear Sad & Lonely,
Life could seem much clearer if you save up your money and get your own place.
Then you can be alone with your thoughts, journal without distraction and figure out what you really want for your life.
Until then, bite the bullet and venture off to the movies one night. The next night could be the library. Another night could be a free event out of the community page of your local newspaper.
In other words, get out and experience life on your own terms. And don't be afraid to take a weekend WITHOUT your parents. It doesn't have to be out of state or out of the country. It could be something as simple as getting a hotel room in the city where there is a restaurant and strip mall in the vicinity. Explore and create your own adventures. And don't worry, you'll be fine. I have faith in you.
A lot of my friends tell me they wear thong underwear. And they tease me because I don't wear them. As a guy, how do you feel like this? I've read that you have sons, but if you had a daughter? By the way, I'm 13.
Wow ... You got me ... First of all, I always wanted a daughter. So if I had one, I don't think that I would encourage it.
I'll be real with you. Thongs are sexy and everything. I've heard women say that they don't wear them because they don't want people to see their pany lines. But trust me, if you have on a thong, dudes will still figure it out and now they're concentrating that region of your body all day long. Not every guy, but many guys. And he doesn't even have to be looking on purpose. He might look by accident and then suddenly he is hooked.
If you were my daughter, I would want for a guy to be able to sit down and talk to me about how smart you are; how great your personality is. That's just me. Even though I don't know you, I want the best for you. So please be careful with the choices you make.
TruSoul, who are your top ten favorite artists. Any genre ... And why?
* A popular R&B flavored Gospel group. Their sound has influence such Pop acts as Boyz II Men and Brian McKnight. Their harmonies and melodies are stunning and simply amazing to listen to.
* The former star of Nickelodeon's Roundhouse just has one of those voices that draw you in. And the lyrics of her songs have encouraged me on many of depression filled days.
* The blue-eyed version of Stevie Wonder.
*A master singer, songwriter and musician. I believe he has a song for every mood.
*I just simply love the fact that someone so young can write such heartfelt songs.
*A Jazz guitarist from the 50s who influenced latter day Smooth Jazz artists like George Benson.
*Besides the fact that she is so nice to look at, her voice is very soothing.
*Besides the fact that she is so nice to look at, her voice is very soothing.
*Such an underrated band. They should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but they aren't. Even though they've shared the top two spots of the Billboard charts with the Beatles.
*I don't know if I consider him the king of Rock & Roll, but I'm a huge fan of Elvis. His music, his dancing and especially his movies. There are certain of his songs that lift me out of a bad mood. And his movies definitely cheer me up.
TruSoulDJ is a self proclaimed expert on all things trivial to the Mainstream. He is an avid classic comic book reader, non popular music lover and tv-show-on-dvd binge watcher who shops the clearance racks near and far to find the best deals. He would like to think he knows everything important within the realm of Pop culture. But in actuality, he only knows about 99.9 percent of what he thinks he knows.