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- Romantic Intimacy
Kissing 101: Everything You Need to Know About Lip-locking
Gimme just a little kiss
I love kissing! There are so many reasons to kiss and just as many ways to express oneself with this form of intimacy. It's an important aspect of peoples' lives from their first kiss (huge milestone) to sealing a marriage ("You may now kiss the bride") to getting a big fat slurpy kiss from your pooch (any dog lovers out there?) and even a greeting among friends (in many cultures). The kiss is something so little but means so much in our lives.
B.K (Before kissing)
Prior to European settlement in various areas of the world, kissing was not the norm! I know, how strange it seems, but only rarely was it mentioned in Greek literature or in other cultures such as Egypt where historians have decided it did not even exist. In japan, it wasn't until the 20th century that kissing was a romantic gesture between lovers. Other cultures also saw kissing as maternal only- mothers who kiss their babies and children. It also seems strange that we applied a former form of affection strictly from mothers to babies and now a signal for romance between lovers.
So what did we do to express our affection for another if kissing wasn't one of those common ways? In many cultures, sniffing/smelling and snuggling (nuzzling and caressing) were more common. It was Western society that put kissing on the map and boy did we ever! Somehow we discovered a reaction as addictive in the brain as cocaine...and we like it! With a background in psychology I've read the studies on it, seen the brain scans. It's conclusive that kissing or even the expectation of is similar to major drug addiction, but the healthy kind (can lower cholesterol, boost immunity and reduce stress)
- Creepy kisses: "Instead of kissing, Manchu mothers used to show affection for their children by performing Fellatio on their male babies since it was not considered a sexual act, yet the Manchu regarded public kissing a revulsion, which was considered sexual" (Source: "kiss" Wikipedia). Oh, just gross!
- Most women report knowing whether a relationship will work after just the first kiss. Put me on that list!
- By age 16, 85% of teens have experienced kissing.
- Forbidden Frenching: "In India, public display of affection is a criminal offense under Section 294 of the Indian Penal Code 1860 with a punishment of imprisonment of up to three months, or a fine, or both.
- Holy Kissing: Kissing holds a common occurrence in the Bible and is mentioned often as well as being a part of many religions such as Hindus kissing the Temple floor or kissing the Rosary beads.
- Pucker up: Kissing involves 34 facial muscles.
- KISS: The band Kiss got their name from a suggestion of Paul Stanley who was a former member of a band named Lips. Rumors have it that it stands for Knights (or Kings) in Satan's Service.
- Hershey's Kisses (Chocolates) began in 1907 and got its name from the equipment they're made on. It makes kiss sounds and appears to "kiss" the conveyor belt where the chocolate is dispensed.
- Historically, the "kissing plant" (Mistletoe) was thought to have healing and fertility properties. Not only can you kiss under it, but some used to think that putting under a couple's bed helped promote baby-making.
- July 6th is International Kissing Day/World Kiss Day!
What do Butterflies, Eskimos, and French have in common?
Kinds of kisses:
- Eskimo kiss- press tips of noses against each other.
- Butterfly- flutter eyelashes against another's eyelashes.
- French- a passionate kiss involving tongues and turn-ons (if you do it right). The french kiss also mimics how mother animals feed their babies. In France the French kiss is referred to as the lover's kiss.
- Greetings: includes cheek kissing, air kissing(no actual contact) or hand kissing symbolizing recognition and friends and a way of saying Hello and Goodbye in many cultures.
- Kiss of peace- symbolizing peace among various religions in history. More common today, is hand-shaking.
There are other types of kissing that fall into the romantic, perhaps steamy categories:
- Romantic - maybe a dip sealed with a kiss during a dance. A softer kiss initiated during an especially romantic situation.
- Sexy - heated, passionate, ready for foreplay!
- Naughty - maybe a little biting or nibble on the lip and nipping at the nape of the neck.
- Teasing - a little here and a little there, innocent it seems but full of intention.
- Simple - a peck to let your lover know you're thinking of them at that exact moment.
- Sweeeeet- this one is reserved for the innocent, first kiss, and a little peck between little kids. Awww.
How to be a good kisser!
This is the juicy stuff. How do I explain something that I believe either you got it or you don't and what works for one person may not work for another. However, there are guides to kissing...or being a better kisser. I'll share some of those tips:
- Be ready- have fresh breath so make sure you have at least decent oral health. Having fresh breath and soft (not chapped or dry) lips is a plus.
- Right time, right place- timing and environment is key especially for a first kiss or something meaningful. Timing seems to be difficult for men (any time is good time for them). If it feels wrong or rushed, don't do it, but also don't wait so you don't get in the friend zone either. If you haven't kissed her by the third date, maybe it's time.
- Test drive- start slow. Start with a gentle caress of your lips and ease into it. Get to know the person you are kissing by noticing the way they respond to various types of kisses. Some people like their neck or ears kissed...try it out.
- Add some extras- a little heavy (but flattering) breathing maybe some whispers in the ear. Personally I love it when a guy runs his hands through my hair or holds the back of my neck during a kiss..some good extras!
- Go with it- move a little into the kiss whether this is moving your head oh so slightly or moving your body into the other person's slightly as well.
What people don't like:
- slobbering, too much saliva
- too strong or forceful
- hard biting, anything painful (unless you're into that)
- Erratic and all over the place
- never using any tongue
- bumping noses or heads, no injuries please!
Best advice ever: If he or she likes it, they'll want more and more! If the person turns their head away, it's not going good.
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