LDR-Long Distance Relationships
Marie meets Computer
I discovered the WWW in the year 2000. I never used a computer nor did I even touch a computer before. The person whom helped my daughter and myself after a hard end of a marriage introduced me to his Gateway Desktop in his home where I was living.
He used it mainly for searches on farm equipment because he had a dream to own a house on a 200 acre land. He favored Hit-N-Mis engines, trackors, antiques, and old cars. He told me that I should try getting on the PC because I would like it. I told him that it was not my thing.
One day I decided to try this out, knowing that I would get bored quickly. I started by playing games and than I discovered the Internet. Eventually I was lost in the World Wide Web.
I went into yahoo chat rooms and found forums. I found Delphi which is a site that runs on forums which was free at the time. I got into HTML formatting and graphic designing. I loved it. I than found people from all over the states and a few in other countries.
I found myself hosting 2 live forums. One for crafts, recipes, tips and helpful hints. The other was an adult playground with limitations.
Over the months I became popular and addicted. I lived on that computer. I read on many things and was able to talk to people that would listen.
One person whom I met was Aaron. I began chatting with him in a yahoo room. This room no longer is availible but I miss it. It was fun flirting, jokes, games, and singing.
I would feel that tingle feeling every time I’d hear his voice. I loved when he song! We started chatting one on one and found that we had plenty in common. As we chatted, we had on a cam because he loved seeing me. We also found that we were in love with each other. BUT! BUT HOW COULD THESE FEELINGS BE REAL? We asked ourselves this over and over without saying anything to eachother.
How could you miss a person that you have never seen in person? I did not know if he had bad foot odor or bad breath. He did not know if I snored or hogged all the covers in my sleep.
It became hard to leave that computer screen because we did not want to leave each other. One night we finally confessed. He realized why I turned off the cam. It was because my eyes would fill with tears as we said our goodbyes. Which wasn’t as often as most. The time zone difference worked out great until I began to live as if I was in his time zone. We slept when the other went to work.
We did not just talk on the computer, we spoke for hours on the phone. I sought out cheap rates on calling cards. This became so real that I told my family and friends about us.
For one year, 16-18 hours a day, seven days a week, we were chatting, talking, and writing songs and poems. We spoke of everything, the weather, our time at work. He was in my daughter’s life as well as mine. We spoke of each others dreams, good and bad. Everything that has happen to us throughout our lives. We knew each others family members and friends by their names.
OK! This is crazy! We both said. We cry when we have to leave and we dream of each other. We became so close that we knew how the other thought, smelled, and even felt the others touch.
We both knew that we had to figure out how to be together no matter what or how. We just knew it had to happen. This relationship has been going on for a whole year. We desired each others touch. It was a need. We had done all the foreplay that we could handle before exploding.
On June 22, 2002 my daughter and I arrived at the airport in Sydney, Australia. We had three huge suitcases and one shoulder bag each. We filled them with everything that we owned. We did not plan on returning to the states for a long time.
From Philadelphia International Airport to LAX (10 hour overlay), to Sydney (14 hour flight), to Coolangatta. I was not scared, just tried because I am a person that cannot sleep in just anything or anywhere. At first I was numb.
I seen Aaron in the middle of the airport and it was 6am in Oz. I was cold, tired, and hungry and seriously in need of a cigarette and a hot bath.
This is a beautiful country, my daughter and I both thought. We went to his sister’s house where he lived until it was check-in time.
I laid on the sofa and he laid on top of me to give me a hug. We kissed and forgot that we were in a living room. NO! Clothing never was removed. We wound up falling asleep for a bit. It was like we have alway known eachother.
When we got to our hotel, my bed was full of red rose peddles in a heart shape. Wine in the fridge and snacks to go with the wine.
My daughter and I wound up staying in Oz past our visa date which was a 90 day visa.
We went to Seaworld, a local zoo =, and of coarse to the beach. The shopping mall is very diferant from what we are use to but simular to the one I visit in Puerto Rico.
Aaron and I got a tattoo on our upper arm. I drew the design which is a heart with Eternal Soul Mates written on the inside, with a king’s crown and two swords going through. Our names on each side.
We managed to get back to the states without reportation. All three of us cried as my daughter and I sat in the taxi. It was so weird being back home after pretty much living in another world.
I tried to continue with my life as before our trip but found it impossible. I felt that a part of me was ripped away from me. We eventually drifted away because one gave up the hope of ever being together again. We could not deal with this pain again.
I still feel like a part of me is gone, even after six years of not even hearing the sound of his voice.
Update - 5-2010
We found each other on facebook recently and he precents an attitude toward me because he feels that I left him. We cannot even be friends.
The fact of us did give him hope to love and he found someone. It feels as if he is afraid to be my friend.