- Gender and Relationships»
LDR Long Distance Relationships
My Personal Experience
I have met many people in all sorts of ways; at fund raising events, social gatherings, work, and on the Internet. I think meeting in any way has the same affect.
When you meet a person of the opposite sex you feel different things. It depends on whether you are attracted to them or not. I have felt the same nervous, butterflies in the pit of my stomach feeling every time I meet a guy who has ignited my personal interest. I have a shy little girlish feeling whether online or offline.
Sometime during the spring of 2001 I met a man, I met Aaron in a chat room on a very popular website. It was a group of different people of both genders living around the world. This was some time after I began exploring and teaching myself how to use the computer and Internet to my advantage and amusement.
I have never even touched a computer before the winter of 2000 nor did I have interest in doing so. I was working mostly as a cook and fast food management and raising children. I spoke to many people online, both men and women. I even sold things on another well popular website.
Surfers Paradise Queensland Gold Coast
Aaron and I began speaking in private chats, playing online games together, and then live video chat on cam. And even daily phone conversations that last for hours, and many times from morning to night. We discovered that we shared so many things and interests. It was a time in my life that I actually needed someone because I was going through a huge amount of emotional and psychological stress.
Aaron was a younger man who lived in Australia. He was going through a lot of stressful events as well. We understood each other and shared a lack of desire for life. Neither benefitted anything other than a friendship that became the perfect love relationship. We were each other’s soul mate.
We both felt as if we lived in another life time on earth before this one during mid evil times. We shared everything about our life and events from the past and present day. There were many days that we didn’t want to leave each other’s presence. We took turns to be the one who would be stronger than the other to end our meeting for the day.
Yes, we took care of our daily responsibilities as I had a child to care for. My daughter Ang developed a relationship with him also. Every day after he came home from work he would log onto the Internet to see my face and hear my voice.
No, it really doesn’t get easier after awhile to be on a camera, especially when you want nothing more than to be wrapped up in each other’s arms. There were times I didn’t turn on the cam because it was too depressing at times.
We carried a one year relationship before either of us was able to arrange for a face to face visit. I had more advantages so my child and I went to Australia. It was a fun event to plan. My daughter Ang and I went clothes shopping at West Deptford in Gloucester County New Jersey. I found out how theft security on credit cards work. LoL
We did whatever was necessary to get our passports as well. I bought the airline tickets online. I purchased tickets to Sea World and prepaid the hotel room for two weeks in a tourist area of Australia NSW.
Our flight began in Philadelphia to LAX and we had a ten hour overlay. That was an adventure of its own. We had five huge luggage bags and had no place to put them. So we were stuck in the airport dragging a huge luggage cart all the time.
My daughter and I have a good relationship so we get along well. I bought some games along for the trip which kept us pretty occupied. Our flight from LAX to Sydney, Australia began at two in the morning. It was a fourteen hour flight. I did not sleep since I left New Jersey so I know what jetlag is now. Aaron was waiting for us in Sydney. I saw his face fifteen minutes after we got off of the plane from across the airport.
We had to wait an hour for a charter jet to get from Sydney to Coolangetta which he paid for. That was an hour flight. The first few hours together felt stranger than anything I have experienced in my entire life. He looked different in person I thought at first.
It was around noon time and hotel check in time wasn’t until 3 p.m. so we went to his aunt’s house which is where he lived. I felt weird the whole time until we fell asleep together on the sofa for a bit. That is where we reconnected. I no longer felt weird.
When I got to the hotel room it was like a furnished apartment. Upstairs had a master bedroom, living room, eating area, and a fully equipped kitchen. Bath room had a Jacuzzi. The down stairs had a second bedroom and laundry room. Each bedroom had a balcony.
Aaron had gotten a friend to come into the place formed fresh rose pedals on the master bed in the shape of a large heart. I thought it was cute. We stayed in the next day and went swimming. We went to Sea World, a zoo, and spent a lot of time on the beach near Point Danger. We visited the mall of course and his friends and family. We very much enjoyed our stay. Only issue we dealt with was when out bike riding, these birds chased us.
We spent some time on the beach as well. In my mind I knew this would become our new home so I purchased some start up things such as beds for an apartment. I did any research needed in order for me to be able to stay in Australia.
Ang and I wound up staying three months in Australia which maxed out our visa. We spoke with a lawyer to see what we had to do to live in Australia. Aaron had to become our sponsor and had to be earning a certain amount of money to sponsor us. The day came when I had to leave. All three of us cried a river that morning.
We did not communicate much after I got back to the states because we only wanted one thing and it hurt too much. Eventually, communication stopped completely and I went on with my life as a mother to my pre-teen child.
I tried to find him on the internet every day but could not until one day I did find him. I found Aaron on a well known social website. It is well known for what people put as their status updates. He was filled with anger because of hurt. He said that I left him. I said I had no choice. We could not remain friends because of the hurt was so deep he could not handle it.
While we were together I gave him hope for the beauty that life has to offer. I made him want love after hurting for so long. He found someone and married. I felt happy for him. And we never spoke again.
I learned that a soul mate is not always a man or woman that one might spend the rest of their life waking up next to. A soul mate is who one bonds with in every way deep within the heart and soul.
I cannot speak for all of Australia and I was told that Sydney is dangerous for most people. But the area I was in is so beautiful that both my daughter and I hated to leave. The coldest it gets there is enough to wear a heavy sweater or dress jacket.
Sometime in, I think the summer of 2002 I met a man named Mark in a chat room on a very popular website who lived in Catawissa, Pennsylvania. He is my age and we immediately began talking in private chats and then we went to daily phone communication. We had a lot in common, music, likes, and dislikes. We both had children and we shared the love of old cars.
We both had the same morals and values of life and family and we even shared opinions. We spoke for about six months and then he made plans to meet face to face. Mark drove down to New Jersey and we spent the day together. When I first seen him, I was like “WoW”.
We took turns to visit each other but I mostly went to Pennsylvania because it was easier. I met his family and went to fairs and car shows together. I brought my two youngest children up to meet him and his family.
We camped out in his mother’s yard. The kids didn’t really hit it off though but kids will be kids. I decided to move up to Pennsylvania with my daughter Ang in the spring of 2003. I figured if it did not work out between Mark and myself I would be able to handle living costs on my own.
I stayed with him in his sister’s house until we found a place of our own and my daughter stayed with my sister El in New Jersey. I found a job after two weeks and shortly afterwards we found a place for us to live. I went to New Jersey to pick up my daughter.
This relationship was not an emotionally deep as the one in Australia. I don’t think that could ever happen again but I was good with that. We lived together for a year. Mark left without any explanation except that I was too good for him.
Catawissa, PA is in north-east Pennsylvania. The area use to be American Indian territory. The popular things to do are seasonal hunting mainly for deer; some do turkey, fishing, and camping. The food is pretty much Pennsylvania Dutch style.
Only thing that is a major problem living there is you need to have a car if you need other things than groceries. And there is no employment for new comers. Race cars, old trains, deer hunting, and mud sliding are popular events. There is this annual fair that takes place in a nearby town called Bloomsburg which is a college town.
The fair lasts for a week which includes many different activities such as car racing and shows. Wood carving and jarred foods are also favored.
I came to a conclusion in my life of being married is what seemed not to be my fate. I did not plan on getting into an emotional. My plan was to live there until I saved enough money to move back to New Jersey.
I stayed living in Catawissa from 2003 until 2006 and moved to Sunbury, Pennsylvania. I quit my “heading nowhere” job. I quit because my register drawer kept coming up short combined with my total end of night sales. A few months after I quit, they found out there was someone stealing money. So I decided to do what I had to do to gain a G.E.D. I studied for and got my G.E.D. in 2005. Then I enrolled into McCann School of Business & Technology and earned an Associate’s Degree in 2007.
Mark and I recently got in touch with each other and began speaking after I found out he was looking for me for a year. I have no emotions or plans on rekindling anything with him. But he did answer my question of why did he leave. He said that he was dealing with too many things during that time which had nothing to do with me personally. I don’t do seconds because the trust would not be there. I cannot be in a relationship without trust. I do miss that relationship at times but life goes on.
We take chances every day by just leaving our homes to take care of daily needs and responsibilities. Just as when we meet people in a public place as to meeting people on the internet; both parties take a chance.
There is danger no matter what we do or where we go. We have to learn how to develop inner instincts. Some call it their “vibes” and others call it intuition. It is an inner gut feeling that will warn you.
There are bad dates and there are good dates no matter how the two people meet. On the internet, blind dates, through friend or family, during a girls night out or while out shopping.
a pie must be there on the second tuesday of the chinese new year