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Loneliness Is Not Bad

Updated on May 18, 2015

You are not the only or the first person who is going through a breakup, but sometimes feeling miserable and pity for ourselves is easier than understand that relationships are based on love, trust, confidence and risk, opening your heart and let a stranger to get to know you for who you really are, not only your charming side, but your defects; the risk is because sometimes things are not exactly as we dream, getting to know someone or live with him or her, it is different than the movies, but if you are in the point where the relationship had to end, it is for a reason, believe me, the pain will pass and the lessons will help you to grow like a better human being.

Mistakes After Breaking Up:

There are several common mistakes that we can make after a break up:


1) Hold on to a past relationship could be the worst mistake, love is based on mutual respect, admiration, communication and passion, if the elements fail, love is just like a fine china broken, impossible to fix; you can not expect that if you love enough it will replace, fix or change what the other person is feeling

2) Start dating immediately, especially if you are heart broken, you deserve to mourn your past relationship, otherwise you will be jeopardizing the new relationship, it is impossible to start again if you don't overcome your feelings

3)Resentment and revenge, are feelings that instead of liberating from the past, tied your life to a specific period, where the painful memories torture you and blind your good judgement, they are not going to help you to heal.

4)Blame yourself for a breakup, life is mysterious, and believe me when i say everything happens for a reason, if a relationship didn't work, it is because that was not the right person for you, and you will confirm this when you find someone that makes you grow and you will want to be better every day.

Steps to Overcome a Break Up:

1) Accept the break up, the first step is the most important one, because it is the beginning of your new life: It is ok to cry, and try to understand what went wrong, but only as part of healing process.

2) Forgive and forget, if you understood what went wrong in the relationship, is time to forgive and forget yourself and your ex, this step will make you free of negative feelings that do not allow you to start again, for example blaming yourself or keep anger to your ex will hurt you, and will stop you to enjoy the present and dream with the future.

3) Reconnect with your inner child, love yourself, the most important rule in this healing process is that you have to enjoy, love and be proud of yourself, the way that you see yourself, is how the world is going to see you. For this you can make a little exercise write a list of your strong points and another of your weaknesses, you can make a plan to overcome your weaknesses and to take advantage of you strong points, the most important is to be proud of yourself.

4)Enjoy your free time, when we are in a relationship we start doing, everything that both partners enjoy, in some cases we can postpone our dreams to rich happiness with the other, but if you analyze this, it is the worst mistake because being in a relationship means that you will gain new experiences but without forgetting about yourself.
Now is the time to make your dreams come true, make a plan, maybe travel or studying, trying something new, find a way to enjoy your life. The bigger your goal the greater that you will feel when you succeed.

5)Open your heart, this is the most important advice that i can give you, past experiences make you grow and learn, but you can not let them to mark your life and take away the opportunity lo be in love again. I learn that if you open your heart, love will come to your life, without an invitation, it is simple your best self is when you enjoy what you do, how you look, how you feel and that is something irresistible for love.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      However I would say there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. A lonely person is someone who wishes they weren't alone.

      Personally I enjoy being alone listening to music, going for a walk, reading, even going to see a matinee movie. Being alone by choice is not the same as being "lonely".

      One always has the option to visit friends or family if they want the company of others. However when most people dread loneliness they are specifically referring to their lack of being in a romantic relationship or marriage when they wish they were in one.

      There are over 7 Billion people on the planet! Odds are in everyone's favor that there are plenty of folks who would love and appreciate us.

      Learning to be happy regardless of one's relationship status is the key.

      Positive happy people tend to attract others to them.