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Ladies- What You Should Know BEFORE You Have Sex With The Guy You're Dating

Updated on August 7, 2011

Have you recently started dating someone, got into a new relationship, or just plainly unsure when it's the right time for you and your partner to have sex? Well there are a few things for you to consider before you do:

  • Do you know what Oxytocin is? It's a hormone in humans that subconsciously causes a bond between the individuals that engaged in sexual activities. Women have a lot more of this than men. So there's much more of an emotional attachment. So if you're not ready for such a connection with the person that you're involved with, you may want to hold off on the sex a bit longer.
  • Have you talked about it with your partner? No one can tell you when it's the right time. That's something that only you and your partner can determine. Communicate with him about the subject and find out his thoughts. Then you can make a better assessment on the timing, get a better understanding of his sex history, and know if this is a person you want to share your body with.
  • Are you ready physically? The first time comes with a lot of pressure and expectations. If you've been intimate before, I'm sure you know this... and you agree. It could set the tone for any future encounters with your partner. So I ask you, are you experienced enough to feel confident and comfortable about the situation? If not, would you be willing to learn? There are many things that you have to think about when it comes to actually being physical with a person. So make sure you truly think about them.

Whatever decision you make has the ability to change the relationship that you have with your partner. So be sure to think wisely...and be safe.

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    • loveguru23 profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Amis 

      7 years ago from Queens, NY

      Very interesting. You bring up some great points dashingscorpio! Thank you again for your comments.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      7 years ago

      "if a woman doesn't want to have sex...she won't. It takes two to be intimate. So if it happens, she wanted it to."

      Loveguru23 we're pretty much of the same mind. However experience has taught me that women sometimes will have sex "Voluntarily" not so much because they "want it" but because they feel it is expected of them or they fear if they don't the guy will leave her. She may have dated him for 3 months and after she had sex with him he dumps her. These are usually the women that feel "used" afterwards. They are the ones that say, "He dumped me after he got what he wanted." Of course she'll probably never know the "real reason" he broke it off. Maybe the sex between them was not all that great after waiting 3 months. One never knows. My point is both women and men should not confuse sex with love. Always have sex because (you want to) and NOT out of "obligation", "expectation", or some "hidden motivation" and you'll never feel used. Sex in a long-term relationship can intensify a relationship. However sex (the first time) with someone is pretty much taking the next step to find out if you are "compatible" in another area of the courthip. Women have also been known to dump guys they were not sexually compatible with. I'm probably talking more about "grown women" :-) and not so much high school and college age women. Very interesting hub!

    • loveguru23 profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Amis 

      7 years ago from Queens, NY

      Thank you for your response to the article dashingscorpio! Ok, I would have to agree and disagree with your comments. Though there may be some women who have the intent of just having sex, achieving orgasm, or they're one night stand seekers, this post really doesn't pertain to them. This was for those seeking more. There's a higher probability for an emotional attachment when the person they're being intimate with is someone they're dating(and have been dating for some time)- or just started a new relationship with. So intimacy happens because some chemistry has developed enough to lead to that point. Therefore there's no hidden agenda, because both partners are aware of their current situation. And believe me, if a woman doesn't want to have sex...she won't. It takes two to be intimate. So if it happens, she wanted it to.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      7 years ago

      I would also suggest a woman should have sex only because SHE wants to! The women who get hurt or feel "used" afterwards are the ones that have sex with a "hidden agenda". They believe it will solidify a relationship or possibly lead to a relationship. Sex between (two consenting adults) shouldn't cause either person to feel "used" afterwards. Expecting anything beyond an orgasm is setting yourself up for potential dissappointment or heartache. The only reason to have sex is because YOU want to.

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