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Ladies -Why Are You So Angry?

Updated on September 30, 2017

The Prayer

Honest Truth

Economic Factors

Have you noticed that women raised in socio-economically favorable environments with a loving stable household rarely fight all the time? Think about it - if times aren’t difficult and you aren’t raised in a harsh environment why would you constantly engage, invite, or escalate conflict to physical violence? People raised or exposed to harsh socio-economic conditions mirror the behavior of mice trapped in small cages with limited cheese available. I’m sure if you allow mice to go without food for a week if you drop one piece of cheese in that environment they will kill each other to get a piece of that cheese. This is similar behavior with violence that some women exhibit, constantly fighting and competing for resources (money/men/opportunities) to the death. If daddy loved you and mommy hugged you and bills weren’t a problem and you grew up in a nice safe environment it would stand to reason you would be less hostile and violent. If you were abused, molested/assaulted, abandoned, beaten, never encouraged resulting in healthy self-esteem levels, and eating or paying bills was constantly a struggle it would stand to reason you would be more volatile. If the basics such as shelter and clothing were constantly in jeopardy or resources were scarce it can cause you to covet and be extremely protective of everything within your grasp.


Relating To Men

Some women have witnessed love through the consequences of their mother’s choices. A parade of people coming in fighting, arguing, manipulating, and ultimately leaving only to rinse and repeat. You can’t believe a man loves you, never trust them, and don’t ever back down approaching everything with aggression to cover up low self-esteem and fear. If you never witnessed a healthy relationship then how do you know how relationships work? Do you accept bad behavior to allow drama to rule your world, creating that arguing and fuel filled environment that mirrors your childhood? To not have an example of a man you could depend on, trust to be there for you, trust to put the family needs above his own causes hurt and anger. This anger rooted in hurt does not disappear when you blossom from being a girl into a woman. Perhaps you grew up witnessing the dysfunction so hollering, cursing, and threatening to leave someone is “normal” to you. Perhaps men enjoying your mother’s bedroom and leaving is what you witnessed so you decide to take them for as much as you can because men don’t stay they only lay. Perhaps you trusted someone that violated you when you grew up and although unspoken that rage is still inside of you ready to be unleashed on every man as payback for your violation. Whatever the case may be, without counseling to address your issues it results in the ability to display feelings in utter irrational fits of rage. This is not normal and just because other dysfunctional people operate the same does not mean it’s not something you need to address.

Angry Black Woman

Your Record

Your record follows you wherever you go. Does it make sense to constantly go to jail on any random night because you are a powder keg ready to erupt for any little reason? How can you give other people power to so easily change the course of your life? Does showing out mean more to your than career opportunities, making more money, or securing your future? How many business opportunities or jobs do you lose when your record says you can’t control your temper? I don’t know many six figures+ earners that go to jail frequently for altercations? How many sponsors or opportunities do you forgo because fighting is the first resort to addressing conflict? What example do you set for your child when you are constantly being arrested for physical altercations that could be avoided if you had control over your irrational emotions and hurt displayed in utter rage? Children follow your example and not your words. The cost of hiring attorneys, being summoned to court, and paying fees can be avoided if one has the ability to control your temper. No one wants to work with a hot head.

Love and War

Anger Management

True Love

Let’s say you encounter a person that cares for you and wants you in his life. To a heathy person your outbursts of anger and rage are unsettling. A man that is stable, secure, and healthy in his life doesn’t want your windstorm of dysfunction destroying his life. He doesn’t want to place himself in the position of being in a room full of people and you conduct yourself in a way that causes him shame and embarrassment. An angry woman, full of rage, out of control makes a man look bad to other people. While your look may get his attention no man of quality and character wants a woman that will make his life a living hell when he gets home. How can you expect to be valued as a wife and a mother when you give the man a preview that you’re this drama filled tornado that goes off frequently? How can a man imagine a peaceful and a loving home when he doesn’t know when you’ll blow like a volcano causing destruction to all those in your line of sight? Can you image him picturing you as the mother of his child cursing the child out and assaulting them in one of your rage filled attacks? Any man that accepts and tolerates this behavior is undesirable with issues himself which is adding fuel to a fire. A man of character and strength will not allow a woman to destroy the empire he is trying to build. Your attacks, verbally or otherwise, or unacceptable. You either accept the relationship or you leave it, you can’t control people by acting psychotic. The last thing a good man will tolerate is a woman that brings constant strife and drama, not peace, to the relationship.

Help To Manage Your Anger


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      15 months ago

      Anger is the Mask that Hurt wears....

      Anyone who is angry most likely feels they are being disrespected, mistreated in someone way, or taken advantage of. Some women use anger as a "self defense" mechanism.

      They're always ready to "go off" or set someone straight.

      Showing anger means being "strong" in (their eyes) whereas acknowledging being hurt is seen as a weakness to them.

      There's a thin line between one's behavior when saying:

      "I don't need a man!" versus "I don't want a man!"

      In their mind acting as if you (want) something is the same as coming across as if you (need) it. That's seen as weak.

      One adage goes: "You draw more flies with honey than vinegar."

      Proverbs 21:19

      "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

      Very few people want to be around hot tempered people.

      Ideally with age and life experience comes wisdom along with developing one's own "screening process" for who is worthy of being allowed into their inner circle.

      They'll also learn to be tactful without exploding as well as figure out ways to get what they want without looking crazy.

      It's not unusual for angry people to be lonely people.


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