- Gender and Relationships»
Lady Love and Being a Gentleman
Being a Gentleman requires "a little logic, a bit of forethought and a great deal of consideration for others." as said by John Bridges.·
In my previous hub we talked about being a gentleman and how to look and feel good. After you have learned how to take care of your appearance, its time to learn how you treat the ladies. But first you need to reach to the restaurant you invited her. So lets see how a gentleman behaves in public.
As the topic of this discussion suggests, these etiquettes are to be followed everywhere you go. Let it be a grocery store, a mall, or even while you are walking on the streets. Sorry, I meant a sidewalk. A gentleman follows all the rules and regulations, remember. Here goes the list:
· No public grooming: Well some things are better if done within the four wall of your home or a restroom. Never pick your nose or your teeth and don’t chew those nails. Keep all the gases in yourself, dont intoxicate mother nature. A gentleman is a reflection of colossal clas, don’t degrade it.
· Never smoke when a lady is around: In this age of political correctness , some manners have died slowly. The law might allow you smoking on the streets, but a gentleman is a considerate man and thinks about others too. Remember the days when you were a child and you found this habit an evil to society. And would often say, “I would never smoke.” This rule applies not only in a ladies presence but in any man/woman’s presence. And if you really need to light up a smoke, ask permission.
· Offer your seat: Classic of the classics. If you are travelling by a public service, then make sure there is no pregnant lady, and elderly or a girl standing right besides where you are sitting. Get up, and offer them your seat and don’t do this while sitting. The person would be overwhelmed by your gesture.
· Offer your help: If a lady or an elderly is unable to cross the road, If a person is transferring heavy loads onto his truck, or if someone is collecting there pieces of fallen stuff, offer your help. And make sure if you bend down to collect the fallen stuff, bend at your knees and not your waist.
· Walk with a straight back: A confident person always walks with a straight back and reflects confidence.
You are almost there, you have reached the restaurant. And I m sure you have reached 5 minutes before the time you agreed upon with your lady. And you ask why am I so sure? Well , you are gentleman now.
Before entering the restaurant make sure you have removed your hat (if you are wearing one).
When you are just about to enter the restaurant assess the situation and see if you should keep the door open and the one’s following you should enter first. For sake of simplicity, if a person is just 2-3 steps behind you, open the door, let them enter first and you follow. And this stands correct not only for women but also a man.
Now that you have successfully made it to the restaurant, select a table for the lady and yourself to enjoy the meal. At certain restaurants you require a reservation, so go and take your seat.
· Stand up and greet her: As soon as you see her coming through door, stand up walk towards her and greet her. You can start off with “Hello, (her name).” And then walk her to the table while asking how she is doing. Make sure you are walking besides her, neither in the front nor behind her.
· Pull out the chair: When you reach the table, pull out the chair and let her make herself comfortable, pull in again if possible or let her do so. Make sure the chair is placed on your right hand side but never directly facing your chair. This would be an effective way to know if she is really into you. And you would also have the opportunity to brush a little onto her body, which really would turn her on.
· Ladies first: When the waiter arrives with a menu card, don’t start rushing through it and decide on something. Let her choose what she wants for dinner and then comes your chance. Remember, ladies first always.
· The talk: Ladies like to express their opinions, reveal themselves slowly and fashionably. So make sure you are always listening to her carefully. And be a good listener. Use phrases like “How did that happen?”, “One of my dreams is to…”, “My friend once told me..”, “This reminds me of…”. This will show her that you are not only listening to her but also revealing yourself to her. So, she would get the feeling that you trust her.
Laugh at her, jokes. Not just with your mouth but also with your eyes. A woman can tell if you are faking it. And last but not the least, don’t talk with food in your mouth.
· Be polite: And this not just includes, your date but also the waiter or anyone else around you. Even if you don’t like something, say it calmly and under control. This is a true gentleman’s test. And while you are having your food, don’t include talks about politics, religion or sex. This will be a turnoff for her. No cracking jokes about people sitting next to you. And a strict no, to laugh at anyone’s mistake.
· Grab the bill: A gentleman always pays for a lady he is accompanying. So take that bill and pay for what its worth. Be generous while giving a tip to waiter. 10% if it was average and 30% of the bill if you really enjoyed the meal. And do remember that if this is your 2nd or 3rd date, she has to be a not so gentlewoman to not offer to pay for the bill. And should really not be worth the trouble of a true gentleman.
· Bidding goodbye: While exiting the restaurant, hold the door open for her. And either walk, drive or use public service and drop her home. Right next to her door, and when she enters close the door for her. When you walk her home, make sure you are on the outer side of a sidewalk. As a result she would feel safe and secure around you.
Treating a woman well is one thing. Sacrificing your self-respect and dignity is another. Maintain a sense of self and your own values. If you communicate your feelings about your own self-respect and dignity. Someone who respects himself can be all the more attractive.
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