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Landing That Great Partner

Updated on November 1, 2015

The modern relationship dogma is usually that men find women to be the more confusing of the sexes. We say one thing, but mean another, give vague answers and wait on the man in our relationships to make the decisions, whether they be the intended outcomes or not! However, from the viewpoint of a women, I’ll let you in on a secret: we aren’t always sure of ourselves either. So if you are confused about what a good man is looking for these days, here are a few tips that may help clarify.

Be Your Own Woman.

Don’t rely on a gentleman to be the focus of your world. A confident, successful man is looking for the same qualities in his counterpart. Men are usually not looking for someone to be dependent on them and if that is the vibe they are feeling, it may soon be followed but a feeling of being stifled. Besides, if you don’t follow the pursuits that makes you a joyful and enriched person, then how can you contribute fully to conversations and activates that will help your partner grow? You were an interesting and engaging woman yesterday: continue to be one tomorrow. Carry on with the same friends, passions and pastimes as you had before you met him. It’s great to spend time together, but it could be even more amazing after some time apart too.

Keep a Level Head.

If this is your first, or even second date, nerves may be running high. However, having more than your share of alcohol will not only dull the tension, but also your personality. Don’t forget that your date is likely as nervous as you are, but more importantly, he has asked you to spend time together in order to get to know you and not your drunk (and no-so-funny) alter ego. Further to that, if dinner is part of the plans, don’t give in to the old stereotypes that a woman should eat like a bird. Take a look at what’s good and order away! If you are looking for a real relationship, then your best bet is to show up as your authentic self from the start.

Don’t be Hasty.

We’ve all heard stories of women who jump the gun after the first or second date, causing them to unintentionally appear so desperate or eager that they inevitably scare the guy away. A man is looking for a potential partner who will share his excitement of the initial elation, but will probably want to run when excitement turns to fixation. Letting things unfold in their own due time will show the patience and maturity that will get those butterflies fluttering.

Keep a Secret.

Despite what is portrayed in modern media, men aren’t looking for a quick hook-up in a long-term girlfriend. If you want to stand out to him, then giving it all up may lead him to believe that he’s not the only one in line. Waiting to get physical will not only let you assess his level of interest, but as they say, good things come to those who wait and there is much to be said about delayed gratification!

Let the Man be Your Man. Men have a core desire to be needed. It may seem contradictory, but they are looking for a woman who knows how to open a door, but isn’t afraid to let her guy do it for her. Showing a little vulnerability lets the testosterone flow and allows the protector personality to excel. What could be a better ego boost for a man than taking care of his woman? Letting him be the take charge once in a while shows that you trust his opinions and aren’t afraid to relinquish a little power. Don’t underestimate the appeal to a man of flexing his primal protective nature.

In the end, even though it may seem cliché, the best advice is to be your strong, beautiful self. Deep down, men just want the same things we all do: love, companionship and respect. There is no secret formula so have fun. And besides, if you have to change to get a man, then who needs him anyway!

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    • RebeccaBrooks profile image
      Author

      Rebecca Brooks 23 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      Wow! Thank you for your in depth comment. It's great to know that there are still some people who believe in the art of dating.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 23 months ago

      Good advice!

      I'd also tell women to behave as if (they) are the buyer!

      Too often books, magazines, seminars, and other things push the idea of women needing to find out what men want in order to get one.

      You ever notice very few of those dating advice books are geared towards men? Men see themselves as being the "buyer". They allow themselves to be themselves! No walking on egg shells, trying to figure out what (she) may be thinking, what will she think of me in the morning....etc

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself

      If you have (your list) of traits you're looking for in a man than it's up to you to determine (if he) is qualified to invest more of your time with!

      It also pays to be realistic.

      According to statistics in the U.S. the average person loses their virginity at age 17. The average age of women who get married is 27 and for men it's 29. Therefore any young lady in her late teens or early 20s who seeking a mate for life in her age range will likely be disappointed or heartbroken.

      The last thing on a guy's mind in that age group is becoming his parents!

      The very thought of marriage, signing a 30 year mortgage, and having children is the equivalent of watching their lives flash before their eyes!

      Most guys in their late teens and throughout their 20s are mainly interested in playing video games, watching sports, partying with friends and getting laid!

      Any woman in her teens or 20s that is trying choose a "soul-mate" in that age range is likely to be disappointed. Most guys don't start to think about settling down until their near 30 or even early 30s.

      This leaves young women with two options either approach dating as some fun exploration activity while working on their education and establishing a career or date only single men who have already gone through their 20s, have a career, and are more incline to be ready for a serious relationship.

      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If someone is having one bad dating/relationship experience after another it's probably time they re-examine (their) mate selection criteria.

      The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you).

      One man's opinion!:)