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Learn How to Move on When Someone Doesn't Love You

Updated on November 7, 2019
Isivwe Muobo profile image

Farrah has been a blog publisher for over 10 years and has been able to amass a few blog traffic and site optimization tips during this time

How to move on when someone doesn't love you
How to move on when someone doesn't love you

How to Move On When Someone Doesn't Love You

They say: "First cut is the deepest" when it comes to love and heartbreak and I couldn't agree more. Exactly 17 years ago, I fell in love for the first time; the feeling was quite heady and it was all I could think of.

My whole life became centered around seeing him, being around him or at worse, just hearing his voice. I'd been bitten by the love bug and I couldn't explain what'd how happy that made me.

Sadly (although I didn't see it this way at the time), my love interest knew how I felt and did everything in his powers to encourage these feelings.

Did he succeed? Yes, as I fell more deeply in love with him.

I felt the feeling was mutual and let myself go, which was why I couldn't understand why he wasn't making any moves for us to be together. I'd shown him I was very interested in every way I could, but he just....held back.

It took several months to realize the truth and understand his reason for holding back and I got to know I'd been living in fool's paradise. My love interest didn't love me as I thought, he just loved the idea of someone being in love with him and encouraged the feeling as best he could.

How to move on when someone doesn't love you

How to move on when someone doesn't love you 2
How to move on when someone doesn't love you 2

Further Discovery...

I also discovered another devastating fact: which was that I wasn't the only one he played this game. There were other ladies; he would make you so comfortable being around him, even go as far as making you believe the feeling was mutual, until you were completely smitten.

Now, I never fully understood his reason for this game, but I guess it was an ego boost for him. I mean, the more ladies were in love with him, the more of a stud he was, I guess.

The realization was devastating and for weeks, I was broken. A love that had burned so deep in my heart suddenly turned to hatred and I also lost whatever respect I'd had for him.

However, I knew he didn't deserve any emotion from me anymore, even hatred, so I felt the best thing to do was to move on, which is what I did.

If you find yourself in a similar position (where you love someone who doesn't quite feel the same) here are some proven steps you can take to move on from that situation.

Love Quiz Time

Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you in return?

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How to Move On When Someone Doesn't Love You

1. Accept the Fact that It's Happened

Life happens and unrequited love, while painful, can happen to anyone. Its usually best you accept l it has happened, so you can move on.

Its perfectly normal to feel depressed, humiliated even st it all, however, dwelling on this emotions will do you absolutely no good.

2. Forgive Them

This will only come into play if there's something to forgive in the first place.

If your love interest led you on deceitfully knowing they didn't feel the same, you should forgive them. Choosing to stay angry at them hurts only you as chances are they aren't aware of your pain, nor do they care.

Forgive them as this is the first step in your journey to the healing you crave.

3. Understand Not Everyone will Share Your Feelings

If they aren't responsible for your state, then you should understand and come to accept the fact that not everyone will love us, the same way we do not return the feeling of everyone who loves us.

4. Cut Off All Contact

Whether they are responsible for how you feel or not, you should cut off all ties temporarily as this is the only way you can move on unhindered.

Cut off all ties for at least three months and this includes contacts on all social media platforms. Block your love interest on these platforms if you must. While this might seem harsh, you're really only looking out for yourself, and it'd only be temporary anyways.

If you're in an environment where it's impossible to block or avoid them entirely, then you should do the next best this, which is to avoid them as much as possible. Limit your contact to professional ones only and be polite, but slightly distant when you have to meet.

Forgive Them

If your love interest led you on deceitfully knowing they didn't feel the same, you should forgive them. Choosing to stay angry at them hurts only you as chances are they aren't aware of your pain, nor do they care.

Forgive them as this is the first step in your journey to the healing you crave.

More Ways to Get Over Unrequited Love

5. Cry the Pain Out

This isn't the time to try to be an Amazon woman. You have gone through one of the most painful experiences in life and have earned the right to grieve and cry.

Cry in the morning, afternoon and night if you want; in essence, you should cry every time you feel overwhelmed by the emotion and pain.

While crying might seem like a waste of time, it is actually therapeutic and will help relieve the heaviness and grief you feel inside.

6. Remove Everything from Around You that Reminds You of Them

And that also includes those secret pictures you have stuck between the pages of that your favourite book.

While it will be hard, you want to do a complete purge or you'll only be going round in circles.

You might also want to get rid of those group pictures you're both in.

7. Don't Beat Yourself Up

It's easy to blame yourself and think you were stupid for falling for someone who didn't show even an iota of feelings for you. I know I did. However, you should know this can happen to even the best of us and beating yourself up over it would be counter-productive and slow you down.

The best thing to do in this case would be to accept it happened and learn what there is to learn from it, if any.

How to move on when someone doesn't love you 3
How to move on when someone doesn't love you 3

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Farrah Young

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    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      6 days ago

      It is never easy to deal with the pain of a lost love and move on from that hurt. It is almost like grieving and this will take time. Your article is thought provoking and well written Farrah, with good advice. Great read.

    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      6 days ago from Washington Court House

      Nice article. It is hard to move on when one has deceived you.

      The suggestion of removing items might be a good one, but in my case I had clothing. Almost everything I owned was purchased by him. Can't afford to do that one.

      Enjoyed the read.

    • Iqra431 profile image

      Iqra 

      6 days ago from Pakistan

      well this one was really well wriiten article ....

    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      6 days ago from Nigeria

      Yea, it can be emotionally draining dealing with such a situation. Haven gone through one, I know first hand that taking it slow, trying to purge this person out of your life and making the conscious effort to move on are the ways to come out of it.

    • Iqra431 profile image

      Iqra 

      6 days ago from Pakistan

      Dealing with a harsh emotional situation and trying to overcome is really a difficult task to do,and how you cope with it that helps you go small steps to a better way of being....

      nicely penned ...

      thanks for sharing...

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