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Let Me Advise 05/29/10 by Merwin
C'mon Dude Step Up, Measure Up
Mr Man, was told by his prospective mate, Ms Woman, "But, I don't love you." Mr Man's reply was somewhat impressive. "You may not love me yet!". The declaration leveled at Ms Woman was romantically epic and intentionally targeted toward the romantic desires of Ms Woman.
It further suggested... a follow through, of stepping up to be grander than previously thought by the person who said, "But I don't love you."
great effort by him of stepping up to the expected level of Ms Woman,
must include a "gifted" assessment of the her character and what she
desires in a commitment.
Ms Woman's character is that of a quality romantic; a Jane Austin-type personality who might have been thoroughly impressed by profound declarations in the immediate. However; if the declarations were ill conceived and not specifically targeted to the desire of Ms Woman's heart, accompanied by substantive proof in the foreseeable by and by, then the effort would certainly be doomed to failure.
And, ultimately... It did fail. And, Mr Man's failure was compounded by an accusation of sorts. Mr Man stated to Ms Woman, "The type of person that you are looking for isn't 'real'..." And, "You need to tell those that encouraged you along these lines, that the person you're waiting for doesn't exist."
Obviously, Mr Man intended to manipulate Ms Woman into settling for him, or someone else of the like. Of course, it was all for Ms Woman's "own good".
On the one hand, I really like my friend. He is a very kind and overly-generous sort... financially speaking. In fact, generous to a fault. And, the fault? The very fact that Mr Man thought his generosity - his liberal finances - was what should and would win the heart of Ms Woman.
I love my friend... but my friend is being inane.
Mr Man could not appreciate the desire of Ms Woman's heart; an epic, stoic, committed, loving friendship, indeed, based upon generosity. One not of finance, but rather of the heart and predicated by the recognition of that which is ultimately important to her, and then do everything possible to provide it.
Seriously, anyone and everyone can appreciate
financial security provided by a generous heart that has the means.
However; there are those who can see, recognize, and want the "more".
It is a rare and romantically epic suitor, who can recognize the prize for exactly what it is and goes the distance to fulfill the requirements to win that treasure.
As I see it, my friend, Mr Man, failed on three major points:
1) His declaration, "You may not love me yet!" suggested that Mr Man was actually declaring, "I know what you want and I can provide it!"
2) Refused to recognize point #1 as an epic mistake by trying to substitute finance and fun for Ms Woman's real desired substance.
3) Attempting to recoup the failures by suggesting the desires of Ms Woman's heart was unattainable, and trying to convince her to settle for something more tangible (something financial) since what she actually desired could not possibly exist.
Allow me to say this to my friend Mr Man's and his intended. "Please, do not listen to Mr Man. He is incorrect, and is unable to see the forest for the trees. There are those who exist who are seeking you, and are as epically romantic as yourself! Please, do not simply settle for less. Ignore what my friend, Mr Man, says to the contrary... You are worthy of your heart's desire!"
my friends... I cannot - and will not - advise otherwise.