- Gender and Relationships
Love: Letting it Linger
Undoubtedly, everybody is born with the intention to fall in love. Whether you will it or want it, it really is there and there is not much you can do about it. When the windfall comes, msot of us become swept away by the hectic standstill that masquerades itself as love, as romance worth chancing for the taste of it's luscious and seemingly innocuous flights.
At an early age, I began to understand that love was a cacophony of tangible fleeting moments situated among rather unpleasant instances of discomfort and sometimes blazoned anger. And this made it all the more sweeter for me, to even be able to touch the tenderness of pure emotion that curls itself into daily motion and removes a person from the subjective tones of chaotic life. Love was always precious for me, and though I might not have witnessed it's loveliness, or been given the chance to savor the delicateness in how it enchants a person, I knew that it was to be treasured.
I began to understand love in it's many ways, and how intricate the emotion truly is as it intertwines many faiths. In the Bible, it says God is love, and Love is life, so I deduced that we are love. We humans, are the pure definition of love in all it's greatness and wonder.
It is for this reason that we make love as it's original intention was to create a child in our likeness.
It is for this reason that we fall in love, as we are finding ourselves among each other, and forging a haven in each other's hearts.
It is for this reason why being in love can be so exhilarating and blinding; for how couldn't it be when we have stepped into each other's souls to inhabit a place hidden within the most guarded, coveted and cherished recesses of our beings.
Unfortunately, as easy as it is to fall in love, it is harder to stay in love. The task is so heavy that we have to experience that honeymoon stage where nothing could go wrong. Love truly is a drug, and we are all addicts. And like a drug, it can destroy the strongest of us but cure the sickest of people.
Staying in love, is an intricate art best left for people with the strongest of faiths. And so, to stay in love, you first must have faith in what it means to be in it: knee deep.
Three Considerations for Staying In Love
1.Lets Talk About Sex
So everybody does it eventually, even people who have taken a vow of celibacy. I includethem because we all might have sex in the same way, but we all make love differently.The meaning of love is unique to everybody in it's subtle ways. For some feeling theembrace of a lover when unexpected is that moment that touches the depth of their verysoul. For others it is being offered the last bite of ice cream or rice. And for some, it canbe being able to offer their life to a spiritual being as a servant.
You see, the way you understand love is the way you will make love. Literally andfiguratively, we all make love in unique ways. If you consider the ways two bodies canmove together, there is a harmony in those movements that remove the word sex fromthe performance and makes it the act of love. It's this dance, that you two know so welland occurs beyond the confines of the physical nature to mature into a profoundlanguage spoken only as motion, sensations, and sounds. And becomes the primarypurpose of sex before was to have a child, love had to be embedded in process. Thusyou have beauty of making love, the beauty of creating life which will in turn love andmake love.
Music For Love
2.Falling in Love, Over and over and over.....
I'm sure you've heard it somewhere, among older couples usually, that years after falling in love, they're still enthralled by each other; still taken by the presence of one another having been away from each other for a little amount of time. That involves believing that love is a precious commodity, especially romantic love as it is mostly found with conditions. If falling in love was an arduous task, we would be more inclined to stay in love.
Marriage is a contractual obligation with romance as an addendum.
Getting married doesn't mean you will stay in love with each other either. The problem is in marriage, romance seems to always be an afterthought, only necessary on certain important days. That is not to say, for all people this is true, but from my experience of observing and listening to married couples, that desire and insatiable appetite that used to be there, is typically gone after the first few years if not the first few months into married life.
What we must all account for in any relationship is change, and not in the form of where you move to or the people you surround yourself with or even careers. It is how all those things affect the individual and that we are beings that are constantly changing and allowing new thoughts, new ideas, and new perspectives to influence us. And because we are constantly changing, we must be constantly exploring each other and finding ourselves in love over and over and over again. It's actually quite exciting if you think about it, to let go of how you saw yourself or your lover before and become enthralled once more with that new but old familiarity. It is at this point that we must stop holding grudges and stop using certain phrases and words that finalize a person such as:
Have been doing this
To stay in love, allow for each other to mold to each other's changes. If there's a mutual desire to maintain what once was, for as long as possible, and you would account for change in your health, then do not limit each other to who you used to be.
3.Love is blind, you have to stumble a bit
When you lose your sight, your other senses decrease their threshold to accommodate the loss of visual information. Though in the beginning you may stumble around getting used to the new sounds, smells, tastes and sensations, you'll eventually become more comfortable with maneuvering around the largest of obstacles. Likewise in the beginning stages of love, you will stumble, greatly. There is no working your way around it until you've become used to the reciprocation of love.
You get as much as you give, and you should give as much as you get.
Reciprocation is defined as an alternating back-and-forth movement and it is entirely applicable to love. It can be a sensitive balancing act until both parties are enacting it unconsciously, and then it becomes beautiful. The obvious problem here can be that although Jane may feel that she is giving all that she can, Joe could feel like she doesn't care. Take some time to understand who you are to each other, and that although you may use the same nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions and so forth, you do not speak the same language. So take some time with each other to converse about anything and everything. Speak your heart so you each might understand what it means to each other to love one another.
Finally, Savor it and let it linger
Here are some tips to help with the daily motions and emotions of love
Do not go to bed angry at each other (You need your sleep)
Couples that sleep together, stay together (Cuddle, cuffuddle, whatever you call it, get in bed and do it)
Communicate (There are many ways to do this, and don't let it always setting around your work, kids, or other people. Express ideas, desires, hopes, and most importantly hurt. But be very careful about laying blame and seek to understand.)
Compromise (Let him/her have the last bite, or pick the next movie)
Relax (Give each other massages, touch is the best way to communicate)
And lastly, do let the happiness linger, don't be so quick to disregard the good feelings when angry, sad, or exasperated. Love is life, and if life is frustrating sometimes, then two in life will yield an annoying amount of frustration. But two in love is better than one without.
Great Gifts For Lovers
More Soul In Your Life
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