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Monogomy & Gay Relationships.

Updated on August 16, 2011

Does Monogamy Exist In The Gay World?

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Gay Relationships and Monogamy

In Gay relationships we have the highest number of love cheats ever, terrible isn't it? I mean you would think after all that campaigning, all that hard work just to get our rights and equality, freedom and marriage that we would try to set a good example. Ha! we are no better than any one else, yet more so in the gay side some are actually worse at monogamy than heterosexuaIs.

I mean lets look at this scenario we get a boyfriend ok, boyfriend goes out with mates whilst you are working etc then he is late home or something like out all night, you dont question it but you worry at the back of your mind that they are okay.. Oh usually they are fine and are usually texting you like crazy as if their hands are surgically attached to the mobile/cell and your phone never stops til they come home and everything is fine they are sorry they were late and your okay.. Because you have trust and love and in a monogamous relationship.

But take this scenario - boyfriend A goes out with his friends whilst Boyfriend B stays in, boyfriend A meets some one new whilst is out and has affair behind boyfriend B's back, you dont find out usually until a lot later but sometimes fate has a nasty habit of catching up with people like Boyfriend A..

For example they could have caught anything such as STI's - Sexually transmitted Diseases, or a lot worse things... Yet they always use excuses when they are caught don't they? like it can lay dormant and just develop over night, or I caught it from you........ You see and when they have finished their little escapade they blame you saying "how its your fault?" I am not being funny but we make choices in our lives, granted being gay is not one of them, but having an affair is and saying no is also your choice.... You can not honestly blame that on any one...

Because If you have an affair you will automatically fall into that bracket of Liar, Cheat, Scoundrel, Love Rat, Pig or AKA the ex Boyfriend/ Girlfriend too

Makes me bloody mad sometimes because more and more people are going this way and the search for true love and monogamy is getting harder and harder today in our community, I hope that people stop and think in future and slow down and just take it easy..... And most of all be safe and careful..

Good Luck On Your Quest To Find True Love.....

Do You Agree With NSA Relationships??

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These No Strings Attached Relationships?

I am sorry guys, but being gay is so damn hard when it comes to find true love in a relationship I mean yes there are those who have monogamy in their relationships both hetero and gay but recently have noticed that more gay guys believe in

  • NSA - No Strings Attached

  • Open Relationships
  • No Commitment

And many many more things that I do not wish to go into, I suppose I am old fashioned where I believe in true love and commitment but can I honestly ask you sure you why get into these so called modern relationship things or NSA etc? aren't you really just avoiding a true connection with some one?I know that some may have these NSA relationships with people to avoid getting hurt, but you do not realize that if you are not totally up front and honest with that person of what type of relationship your after then your gonna hurt them if they develop feelings for you.

Remember something - when you are together in your relationship, you are sharing something very special, between two people, you can not possibly expect someone to not develop some kind of feeling towards you can you???

I mean don't get me wrong how you live your life is your own affair but what I want to know is What happens if you begin say a No Strings Attached relationship with some one and they fall in love with you? Are you then just going to continue to use them or give them more false hope in believing that they could have a chance with you? When you are determined to stay single.

Or are you going to do the right thing and tell them its over to spare each of you heartbreak? (Incidentally this scenario rarely happens and some one usually gets hurt...)

If your determined to stay single, why start any kind of relationship? It does not make any sense at all to me.....

I have seen this so many times with friends who are in these NSA relationships and each time I can not say anything to them, the worst part of it is knowing that they are going to get their hearts broken and are being used what makes it even worse is that you can not say a thing because you know that they will blame you and accuse you of jealousy etc, when all you really want to do is protect them. However you have to let people make their own mistakes but a warning to those who do have NSA relationships - When you do this just remember its not just your heart your playing with its the theirs and their friends who watch in the distance quietly afraid to say anything for fear of loosing the friendship, whilst you use their friend and break their hearts. We know exactly what is happening and this is the hardest part about about being friends with someone you can not interfere for good, or for bad they have make the mistake themselves. It is the hardest heart breaker to any friendship when we stand back and say nothing but as long as the friend knows that you care and love them and will be there for them no matter what and help them pick up the pieces at the end.

I hope that you can tell me why people have NSA relationships

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    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thanks Ian

      I am exactly the same, all thes NSA things and open relationships do eventually lead to more heartache.

      Maybe not straight away but they do!

      Best to just keep away from such things and look for your soulmate x


    • alian346 profile image


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

      Cal - I'm 1000% with you here - I too am 'old-fashioned' and am absolutely totally uninterested in these so-called NSA relationship things - it's a misnomer - how can it be a relationship?

      Monandrogeny, love, trust, safety, security, happiness are the things I believe in and if two people can find those in each other then they'll be the happiest couple on this planet! :):):):):)


    • WD Curry 111 profile image

      WD Curry 111 

      7 years ago from Space Coast

      Don't kid yourself brother, it's the same all over. The devil wants everybody walking around like a gut-shot dog!

      By the way, I love your chops . . . keep them coming!

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      I have to admit that there is some monogamy in gay relationships, this story is obituary has had me in tears for this couple and would recommend it...

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      You are right of course if you go into it, having met people on both sides hetero and homo who are monogamous and promiscuous but have found more of the promiscuous than monogamous these days... I just really want to understand why?

    • Ddraigcoch profile image


      7 years ago from UK

      Unfortunately I think it is the way of the world. I don't think it is a homosexual trait. I have girls all around me moaning and breaking their hearts over cheats.

      I have met people who are promiscuous and gay but that is more that they are loud and proud and they are on some sort of mission with themselves.

      I have also met homo and hetero sexual people who will be faithful until their last breathe.

      If you have a predetermined idea that all Gay men are cheats and you are looking for a gay partner then whoever you meet has little chance really.

      My female friend is the same and forever stating that any man will break her heart, but yet she wants one,lol.


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