Lies - Cheating and An Untamed Ego
Stay Or Go
When you marry a person for what you think is your security, it may work for awhile but eventually it comes to be what you knew it was, a marriage of convenience. I thought I had fell in love with a man that I met over 6 years ago, but as the years went on it was not love it was knowing that I was taken care of. A sense of stability in my mind. That had been something I longed for my entire life so when I found it I tried to cling to it, not caring about the signs of anything else that were brewing over the years. I became the beautiful trophy wife, the show piece, my husbands ego had gotten so big with every dollar he was making, he just thought money was life and nothing else matter. He began to look down on everyone, even me, the one person that was there when he had alot less than mow. All he needed me for was to let the world know he had money, the perfect wife, cars , and a home that was filled with useless things and not one single portrait of the family that lived there because to him that wasn't anything to be showing off. So the loving devoted wife that I am or was took my own approach to the situation, I cheated. I met this guy who became my best friend. All he wanted was to see me laugh and happy. It was never about sex with us. Long walks on the beach, wonderful dinners and we even made fun of each other to the point there was always a song or phrase that reminded one of the other. It was magical. We tried to make a fairy tale come true but both he and I knew it would never be as long as y marriage existed. The only thing that was left was to end my marriage and begin this new chapter in life with the best man that I have ever met and only man that I see myself loving. Now this is where I am suppose to say I got a divorce and me and this man ran off into the sunset and lived happily ever after. No, definitely not the case. So I confronted my husband told him of my infidelity and to my surprise the reaction I received wasn't a get the hell out of my face/life forever. It was a begging and pleading that he would change , just give him the 1 and only chance to prove it. Me being the person that I am once again thought over the situation, guilt started to eat me alive about doing him wrong and he took care of me for 6 plus years could I really leave him for this fairy tale? Well I didn't get the chance to make the decision on my own, my fairy tale chose for me. I lost the man that I saw as my best friend, my no matter what. He made the hardest choice in the world and now me being me instead of fighting for him, I want him to be happy so I am letting go and attempting to make this marriage that I am in amount to something. Who knows maybe I will get that fairy tale one day. When our paths meet in 10 years or more I will always wonder if I made the right choice.