- Gender and Relationships»
- Separation & Divorce
Life after the "D" word
To live again
Two years ago this month (January 2013), the life I was living came to an end.
I will not give details, but the words that many people hear, and live became a reality for me. I The word DIVORCE became a part of my life.
I knew for about a year before it became a reality that it would happen, the signs were there. Again, I will not go into detail, It quite frankly doesn’t matter.
So I knew for at least a year before, but when it happened, I nevertheless was in shock.
It is strange how one can know, but when it happens, a person can still be in shock...and yet at peace with it at the same time.
We were together for 22 years and neither of us were truly happy, we were just going through the motions.We have three children, (Two adult and one younger at this point) who live with me.
One thing I will add is that we decided to separate and divorce without getting lawyers involved. We picked up the separation agreement and divorce papers from our local courthouse, we filled them out ourselves and filed. It saved us a lot of money and further hardships and possibly heartache.
After she moved out, I reconnected with an ex girlfriend from my past. I flew out to see her and many other old friends and stayed there for nine days. I needed to go away to think things through.
However, once I got home I made a decision to stay single and raise my youngest; and just focus on him.
Now two years later I am still doing this, and working on my 'bucket list'. I am happy, life is going tremendously well, a lot better than I could have imagined.
I am living life the way I want to live it, and my three sons are happier as well, they could see that we were not happy in our marriage anymore as well.
I have learned that life does go on after divorce, one must chose to live and be happy.
I encourage everyone to do what is right for them, maybe it also is to make a list of things you have always wanted to do...and do them.
The key is not to focus on being with someone, but instead, focus on yourself (and children if you have them) and everything else WILL fall into place.
Also surround yourself with positive people, and refrain from speaking badly about your ex and stop your friends and family from doing the same. You are better than that.
Remember, negative thoughts, actions and words breeds a negative life. A positive attitude makes for a positive life.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.