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Long Distance Relationship: Advice On How To Make It Work

Updated on January 13, 2015

The Struggle

Those who have been in a long distance relationship know that it's certainly not easy and sometimes it can even feel hopeless, if not downright scary.

Some days are better than others. Sometimes you feel that nothing in this world can penetrate you and other times, it feels as though nothing is in your favor. As if it will remain the same forever. But I have learned a few things I'd love to share with you all.

What Works

While most of the advice I will offer is, or should be, common sense, you'd be surprised how some can overlook it. Or perhaps it just never came to mind.


Communication

I cannot stress this enough. It's highly important to be in communication and often. Whether it's talking on the phone, texting, chat messengers, emails, social media like Facebook, snail mail, Skype and other video chats, it's important to stay connected. Send photos and daily updates. Share music and interests. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. It will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Keep them in your world. This goes for both partners.


Flexibility

As I said, communication is important. Though we live in the real world and sometimes we can get busy with our job, friends and family. Sometimes one partner is busier than the other and we need to preserve normality. A quick text, phone call or email can mean the world and shows you made the effort to stay connected. Letting them know you are on their mind. Flexibility is very important.


Support

Being there for your partner is essential. If your partner is hurt, in trouble, or whatever the case may be, let them know you support them. Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. This also strengthens the bond of your relationship. Remember, it's a two way street. You will need each other in all avenues of life.


Trust

This is just as important as it is in a traditional relationship, if not more so. The distance can make it difficult because you aren't physically there. The mind can run away and you may find yourself worrying. Feeling anxious can and will happen. This is normal. However, it's important to remember not to be overbearing. But it's also important to prove to your partner that you are trustworthy. Both need to remember it's not easy. Be kind to each other. Informing each other on what's going on, if possible, is a good idea. Try your best to be faithful, lest you destroy the trust on which your relationship relies.


Doing Things Together

In our world of technology, there is no excuse not to do things together, even long distance. There lots of things to do, which include:

  • Watching movies together via Netflix, YouTube, Amazon, etc.
  • Listen to music together via Wavelength. It is a shared experience that lets you build playlists in a live chat.
  • Play a game together online. Whether it's a computer game, Playstation, Xbox, etc. It's always a fun experience to share together. There are hundreds of games you can play together online. Even on phone apps!
  • Take an online class together. Learn a language together.
  • Sleep together on Skype every now and again. It's a wonderful sense of them 'being there' and can help with those lonely nights.

While there are many possibilities, those are just a few. The longer you are together, the more you will find to stay connected and do together.


Setting Expectations and Boundaries

It's important for the both of you to know what the other's expectations and boundaries are. It's something that must be done so the other isn't left in the dark and accidentally oversteps. Make sure you both know what you want out of the relationship. This will help build the relationship you both want.


Love

You're probably thinking "If I didn't love them, I wouldn't be with them." But I say this because long distance relationships work better if you honestly love each other and want to work toward being together in the future. It makes the painful moments easier to get through and it gives you both a chance to bond all the more strongly.


Remember: This is a real relationship and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There are real feelings and emotions involved. Real goals and dreams.

Some people don't understand a long distance relationship and that's okay. Just don't let anyone sway you away from your happiness. Listening to others who do not understand can place doubt. Don't let that happen. Remember why you are with your partner and focus on the good as best you can. It's not impossible and there have been many successes.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary.

      The goal is to (be with) the person you love.

      The vast majority of couples in long distance relationships have no timeline or plan for when they will be together permanently.

      A long distance relationship without “a light at the end of the tunnel” is likely to fail. It’s the counting down the months, weeks, and days until you are (finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long distance relationship) that keeps it strong!

      The only reason for being in a long distance relationship is the belief she or he might be “the one”. If you’re just "passing the time" with someone you might as well do that locally. One man's opinion! :)

    • KrisVixen profile image
      Author

      Kristina Frazier 2 years ago from Sheboygan WI

      Very nice :)

    • Alaine Opilas profile image

      Alaine Opilas 2 years ago from Philippines