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Looking for the "One"

Updated on June 12, 2012

Why do we feel that being single is such a curse? why settle for less than what you deserve because you don't want to be looked down upon by friends and piers? why settle for Mr or Miss "right now" instead of Mr or Miss right on. Is it really that horrible to be alone?

Women as well as men have grown tired of their single friends giving up the friendships that they helped nourished for years, in order to cater to the new, and latest special someone in their lives.

Repeatedly being asked why your still single or when you’re getting married becomes a game of dodge ball to avoid the questions. After a while, it becomes sad and pathetic to realize that the someone on your arm will be the determination factor of your worth. The only thing sadder and more pathetic is the fact that there are millions of singles that feel this way every day.

I grew tired of family and friends wanting to make it their quest in life to find me that special someone that will complete me. The issues begin to arise when one is unable to find someone suitable enough, after months and months of trying. In turn we decide that the problem isn’t with the quality of the people we are dating, but with ourselves. We feel that there must be something wrong with us. We start to feel that we somehow are not lovable enough for anyone to care about us.

So if you’re one of those singles, desperately looking for love and feeling that there is somehow something wrong with you, I hope that you reach a point like I did in your search, where you can start to see the humor in order to keep your sanity.

After much thought I came up with this simple subtraction 101 for singles to finally show once and for all that every single person out, there is looking for the "one."

I hope this works for you. It worked for me when I was single. It gave me permission to take all the time I needed in the world to find that special someone. It allowed me to be choosy and to wait for what I truly wanted, but most of all it allowed me to ease up on myself and laugh...


Let’s assume that there are only 100 people in the world. (Just to make things easier).
Let me break down for you like this....

We begin with our 100 people in the world.

Now we're going to subtract everyone who is your same-sex gender or opposite sex gender. (Depending on your sexual preferences.)

100 minus 50 leaves you= 50 people to choose and find love.

We must now subtract 10 people that are simply much too young for you to make a relationship work or for it to be legal.

50 minus 10 = 40 people to choose from.

We now go the other direction and subtract everyone who is much too old for you.
Unless you’re Anna Nicole.

40 people minus 10 leaves you= 30 love choices

Now you must subtract 10 people. This includes everyone living in faraway lands, which you.Will never travel to, and they will never travel to you ,so there is no chance of ever meeting.

30 minus 10 leaves= 20 possible matches

Now we will remove 15 points for those that we do not find sexually attractive or have any chemistry with whatsoever.

20 minus 15 = 5

Last but not least we will subtract four people for everyone we are not compatible with spiritually or religiously in any way.

5 minus 4 = 1

Now you only have that "ONE' ever so perfect person to choose from!

So you see you truly are looking for "THE ONE"

It's like finding a needle in a haystack. That needle that once found you hope doesn’t cause you pain upon finding it. Give yourself time. Enjoy being single while you can. Learn to love and place yourself first. In time that perfect soul mate will come, and if they don’t show up right away you will be ok with that because you will be enjoying your own company too much to notice or even care.


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    • Maddambutterfly profile image

      Marie V Stephens 5 years ago from New Mexico

      Thank you for the comment John, I could not agree with you more. Lot's of singles don't realize that there are many lonely people IN relationships.

    • johnwick profile image

      johnwick 5 years ago from Eastbourne

      I agree with you, people should enjoy their singlehood as much as they can. Not because it's better than being in a relationship but it has no use fretting about something you cant force. Plus being single is better than being in an unhappy relationship.Just be happy, make the best out of live and be hopefull. Even if sometimes you feel lonely or you get fed up by people asking you why your single. Just because you havent found the right one yet, doesnt mean you never will.