Losing Your Soul Mate (Sad Songs)
Sometimes life throws a curveball that is so unexpected that it’s difficult to comprehend. Sometimes you lose relationships in your life that you’re not sure you can go on without. It’s happened to me. Some of you know my story. I lost my wife (best friend) due to some mistakes that I made; the worst and most costly mistakes of my life.
I believe that’s why sad songs were written – to help put perspective to things – to help you grieve – to say what’s in your heart in a way that your mind can’t come up with in your hour of despair.
Sad songs are especially sad if you were introduced to the song at a time in your life when things were good between you and the one you love. You might have just been driving along in the car when the song came on the radio the first time. Maybe you didn’t even notice it at the time, but something about it left a marker in your mind that you can pull up years later.
I don’t remember specifically the first time I heard “Ghost in This House”, but a group named Shenandoah released it in 1992. My daughter was 2, and my son wasn’t born yet. It made an impact on me, even though it’s about being alone, grieving the loss of a significant relationship. I was able to enter into the pain of it, which is easy for me to do, but I couldn’t really relate to it in reality. I had a young family, a strong four-year-old marriage, and a very cute little girl. Loneliness and despair was far from my mind. At that time in my life, I was naïve enough to think that I had passed over all the big hurdles of life and that the rest of it was going to be more or less a cakewalk. How wrong I was.
During my grief of the last several years, I wouldn’t have been able to even listen to this song, much less sing it. The fact that I’m able to do so is a sign that I’m doing much better. Last Saturday night, for the first time, I completely gave over this situation to God. I know He has my best interests at heart and will work it out. I have a bright future. But God will use the pain that I’ve experienced to help other people, so in a sense, I will be living with it. But not in a way that is oppressive like it’s been in the past.
My past is what it is. I can’t change it. It can kill me, or I can choose to get up and dust myself off and move forward. That’s what I’m doing.
This song comes from the heart. It’s pretty sad, but the songwriting is brilliant. It describes pretty well how I’ve felt for the past few years. As a songwriter and writer, I admire the simplicity of the words and the tremendous impact that they have.
Grief is part of life. I’ve used about everything out there to cover it up, but at some point it must be faced. My hat is off to those who look it in the eye and determine that, although it is painful, it’s not deadly. So, while this song is a little tough to listen to, use it to grieve if you need to. Use it to be thankful if you used to be in the place of the song and are there no longer. Use it as a warning, if you’re in a relationship and aren’t nurturing it with every fiber in your body. We take nothing for granted more than we do the people in our lives. When they’re no longer there, it hurts. Pain is a great teacher.
I hope you get something out of this – whatever that may be. If nothing else, I hope it inspires you to tell the people that God has put in your life that you love them.