Love and Relationship - Psychic Basis of Love
Love - Purpose of life
Have you been mind boggled about the idea of love ?
Every one of us have wanted love and many have been lucky enough to experience it. But we have wondered and pondered what is the underlying magic to it.
Is it really magic?? Is it just hormones?? Is it really uncontrollable??
Read below to get a new perspective into love.
Before we get to the core understanding of love, let me give you a brief foundation about the places from which love originates.
Trilogy of Mind, Body and Soul
Mind, Body and Soul
We can fundamentally decrypt the location of any biological process in humans into mind,body and soul.
- Body is the physical entity through which we receive stimuli and execute responses. We can physically define the body in space.
- Mind is the virtual space where each input (stimuli) from the body is processed into emotions or thoughts consciously or subconsciously and these emotions in turn command the body to execute the responses.
- Soul is the real self which experiences these emotions or thoughts of the mind. When you are aware of the emotion,it is a conscious experience and where you are not aware of the emotion,it is a subconscious experience. Soul cannot be defined as physical entity or a virtual space. It can be said as a form of energy defining who we are among the cosmos.
Soul can choose to experience the thought and tell how the mind should respond. But most of us are not trained to exercise this freedom 24/7. We are constantly open to all thought process and hence we feel clouded by million thoughts every second. We rarely control the responses of the mind.You might have heard the expression of gut feeling or think from heart and not the brain.These are synonymous with the idea of soul exercising its freedom.
In depth analysis of mind,body and soul and how you can train your soul is altogether a different discussion. Here, I want you to understand the places which are involved in the drama of love and relationships.
Forces connecting elements of the periodic table gives rise to emotions and brings two people together??..I wonder how!!..I wonder Why!!
What is love ??
Love is a state or emotion created by the mind using the inputs from the body. In several occasions, thoughts created by the mind can also be an input signal to generate the emotion of love. When you (soul) experience this emotion,you get the feeling of being loved or loving the other person. Subsequently, there is a conscious or subconscious signal made by the mind to execute a thought process and/or a bodily response.
Remember that soul can choose to receive/decline this emotion and choose the response of the mind. But most of us are not trained to do it. Hence i will limit my discussion to untrained souls.
Let me give an example to clear things up. We all agree that a mother has love for her child. What happens in her mind, body and soul??..
when a mom sees her baby, input signal from the eyes( body) reaches the mind and creates a emotion of love.This emotion is then experienced by the soul. The mind can now do two things now :
- create another thought/emotion and give more experience to the soul
- create a bodily response to hug the child or fill her eyes with tears etc.
I love you more than you love me!!!.Have you told this phrase ??
I love you more than you love me !!
I am sure every one would have uttered or heard the phrase one way or the other and you would have itched to prove it.
Can you grade love or give a number to it or have a love scale??
Wouldn't it be fun to have such a measurement so that you can compare your love with others??
Let me tell you that its possible to grade them,but impractical to apply it t indaily life. Let me show you how.
You know now that love involves three places-body mind and soul. Unfortunately, science has not evolved to measure virtual places like mind and soul.Hence body is the only place where love is measured.
- When the body (brain) receives an input from other parts of the body (sense organs) or from the mind (as thoughts), the brain sends its chemicals (neurotransmitters) and electrical signals to different areas of the brain and excites them.This in turn creates the thought process of love in the mind. So, you can measure the amount of neurotransmitters generated and the areas of brain involved with love by means of imaging techniques. This is accurate and used in research only.
- Next option is to measure the responses done by the body (brain). This is adapted by everyone of us in our daily life. You do certain physical things or voice out certain words for the person you love and hence this reflects your percentage of love. You would have heard a common phrase - "I will die for you". This phrase is portrayed to be the practical physical action that one can do when his love grade is the highest. But be informed that other thoughts or emotions like lust, crush, attachment, care, kindness, responsibility, fear, etc., can also give the same responses. Hence it is highly impractical to use the actions you perform to measure your love.
The irony is that even though you don't have solid proof, uttering or believing the phrase in the caption creates a new thought process which stimulates more positive/negative emotions in both the partners.
Am I In Love??
How do you know that you are in love??
We have stumbled upon ourselves every time we face this question. Let me put a different perspective into this question.
Love is an emotional state of the mind primarily induced by oxytocin in your brains. As long as you have oxytocin in your brain, you are going to be in love and you respond your actions with love.
How does oxytocin come in your brain?..As stated earlier, the sensory inputs from the body and thoughts from the mind help to produce oxytocin.
This means that the input signals have be in a continuous train to keep you in love. So at the initial stage of relationship, you would need more frequent input signals like frequent dates, talks and various ways to spend time together.
As days goes by, repeated input signals is capable of transforming these transient electrical and chemical signals into more stable and permanent signals capable of producing oxytocin even without the continuous presence of a partner. This is why a person feels love for his/her partner even after the partner is gone.
However, like any muscle, brain has to be stimulated to maintain the emotion and longer the frequency of stimulation, more the chance of love for that particular person being faded away... This why we are able to move on to next partner even after experiencing love.
All these physiology is good to understand,but how to apply in real life??
To be in love, is a process that one has to reach through various levels. Love is the final result of the process at the end of which you have oxytocin levels in the brain.
Dr Helen Fisher from Rutgers University has given three stages involved in this process. They are
When you meet a person, you will have to climb through all these steps to finally reach love.
Every phase of this stages has different set of hormones and they all eventually build up to love.
I believe you would understand lust and attraction. Attachment is the feeling of bonding or trust to spend your life with.
When you have surpassed all three components, you would experience love as feeling of ultimate joy with desire to mate, to be with your partner every second, to trust your partner in all aspects and lead a life together as one soul.
Now it's a no-brainier for you know that it would take a lot of time and effort to reach all these conclusions in your life.
Only exception to this process is mother's love, where oxytocin is secreted by breast feeding and hence she goes to the end feeling of loving her child.
Remember that to stay in love, you would need continuous inputs to sustain all the conclusions you drew about that person. Such inputs depend upon the type of relationship the couple lead together. Even the progression through various stages of love is highly dependent on the the type of relationship.
Do you want to know more about love and relationship ??
Do you want to push your romance to a whole new level ??
Stay tuned for my posts on the type of relationship between couples.
Have you experienced love in your life
Love is complex process that takes place in body, mind and soul.
To reach the pinnacle of feeling love, one has to go through a step by step process of lust, attraction, attachment, finally love.
The feeling of love is established by the combined desire to mate, to be together, to trust completely and to experience life as a single soul.
To sustain love, the type of relationship between a couple is the decisive factor.
© 2017 Henry Smith