- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Is your Love real or Fake?
Welcome Readers, sometimes when you fall in love with someone you wonder do they love you too? Its a proven fact that everyone falls in love at a unique rate then others, but there are some universal signs that can help you understand if it's love. Remember the saying "you can tell how a person is feeling by reading their body language"? Its a lot like that, but its also reading into there actions towards you. This is just a guide to let you know if it's love or if its not. Fake love refers to someone pretending they love you but really don't. I will also discuss that as well, it should be as a guide to help you identify the behavior.
There are always signs to look for when someone loves you. SIGN #1: "They show interest in what happens to you big or small." When I say show interest I mean that they show they care by either supporting you, listening to you, giving you advice if needed or taking command of the situation if its too much for you. They try their best to do what makes you feel comfortable in the situation. SIGN #2: "They want your appoval." They're not going to ask of your approval on everything, but most things. Meaning they discuss their plans with you that are important to them. They want to make not just themselves happy but they want you to be happy with it as well. Also meaning they don't just go ahead and make big important plans and leave you in the dark wondering what happened? SIGN #3: "They communicate with you when there is a problem." Now before any-one jumps ahead of themselves. I do know, sometimes the person may not be a communicator that you're with. This just means that when the person has the right mindset they think about ways to solve whatever the issuse between you too is. Meaning that they communicate later how much you mean to them by trying or doing whatever to fix the problem. The most important thing to them during those times is to just put a smile back on your face. Much like going back to when you first hooked up and it was all smiles and laughs. Late nights on the phone, they want to recapture those moments by doing or speaking about how important to them you are. SIGN #4: "They think about you when your gone." This is one of the most important signs because many people may say they think about you but in truth are faking but when its real its wonderful. For an example, when the person is out with their friends, do they talk about you a lot or at all? If its true, when you meet their friends trust me, they'll be sure to mention how much they talk about you. Why? Probably out of a little bit of anger and annoyance that when they hang out with your man/woman they are always bringing you up somehow. Another good example is when the person actually thinks about you so much they text you a lot, call you or even keep in constant communication with you because they miss you that much. They maybe at a family event but are constantly texting you because they just are not having as much fun as they would be if you was there with them. SIGN #5: "They think like you do." You ever notice when your out how couples seem to say or do the same things? Like for an example, Sue and John are out with some friends of theirs. Sue sees a shirt she likes in mall before she says anything, John says that shirt would look great on you. She gets excited and says "I was thinking the same thing!" Its like they can read each others minds. This is a common and powerful sign the person really loves you. Why? Its all about the chemistry so too speak. They know each other so well that their brains are "tuned" into the same channel. Meaning their brainwaves are on the same frequency. Note: These are just the five of most telling signs there are close to 30 but I thought these five are the most relate-able.
This without a doubt has to be my most favorite subject to talk about because I know this SO well. I have seen it a lot and been through it as well. Let me explain; fake love is when someone constantly says they love you but don't show anything to back their bold claim. Let me use my most favorite example, Kimberly and Kevin. Kimberly told Kevin that she loved him a few months after they had been "messing around", that she would really be happy if they could go steady. Kevin says that he loves her too but isn't ready to make that step yet. Kimberly thinks that is fair and decides to give him time. A few months later, Kimberly notices that despite how much he claims he loves her nothing has changed but her. She tried hard to step up her game to prove she would be a great match for him and can keep him happy. So she decides to bring it up to Kevin again. Kevin can see and feel how hurt Kimberly is and doesn't exactly want to loose her company just yet. Kevin decides to share some of his feelings with her hoping it would be enough. He tells her that he isn't the man he should be, he can't do anything for her, and that he if things change down the road, will be open to it in a second. This calms Kimberly for the moment accepting the fact he opened up to her about his fears as a man and sees he wants her to be happy if they did have a relationship. This cycle goes on and on for a whole year and some months. What Kimberly didn't see is the fake love he put on for her. Here is why it is fake. When you truly have the powerful feeling of love you do crazy things. Like get into a relationship even if your not sure how to have one. Or you marry someone even though your family hates them. Fake love is like leading someone on by putting on a show they want to see. Everyone loves a good love story. So the person faking prays on the persons emotions by giving them what they want by show but in reality not really. They are still doing them but when they are around you, they present the illusion of being your spouse. They may cuddle with you, kiss you, hold you when your sad, listen to you, but in the end its fake because they only have one goal. TO MAKE THEMSELVES HAPPY. THEY DON'T HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART. AND THEY ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. They have grown fond of you because you play an important role in the show. You're the person they come back to slap it in your face that they don't have to work to have you, you're here regardless. The story of Kimberly and Kevin ends like any sad movie does. Kimberly finally wakes up that she is wasting her time and Kevin begins to care. Despite his attempts to lure her back in with words, Kimberly finally has had enough and moves on. Then later on Kevin sees how much of a fool he was because she is in a relationship with someone else and its great. Now the point of this example is for you, the reader. To recognize the signs of fake love. When a person is all talk and no action. That's a big red flag right there that they don't love you. Also when a person is NOT willing to make a difficult change for you they don't love you. Or when they are NOT willing to admit to others how they feel about you they don't love you. Another sign is when they don't want to commit to anything with you. This is fake love. In truth, what you really have is an out-lit; Someone who can put on a show that makes you feel special for the time being and decrease your stress at the moment. Or more or less a friend.
When love is real ladies and gentlemen you can feel it, see it, and almost taste it. When two people in love you can see how deeply they stare at each other. You don't even need for them to say anything, you just know because being around them you can feel it. When someone loves you, it's a GIFT. So please don't abuse it. Not everyone you meet or love, maybe even "share your bed" with will love you. So when someone does love you treat it as if it could be gone the next day. For those of you who know fake lovers, or maybe even dealing with one, don't worry. You're not the first fool to fall in love with them and you won't be the last. My personal advice for you if your dealing with that, is to take it one day at a time. Understand love is a powerful tool and if your loving the wrong one they're using it for the wrong purpose. To break you ultimately. They know full well what they're doing. BUT don't do anything rash! Like go off and try to explain why they are stupid. That will not end well... For you. Get your mind refocused on what is most important. Yourself. Do things for yourself, keep busy, do whatever you did before you got involved with this sorry person. Then once you built yourself together and realize you don't need that person end it gently. Thank them for making you a stronger person and let that be that. Don't be harsh about it. Don't listen to the smooth lines the person will have readily available. Just leave. The key here is to remember that everyone can be loved, you just have to find the right person. When you do it is like magic and worth fighting for. Its so powerful that it can stand a lifetime of arguments. But you will still be smiling at the end of the day. I hope this helps. Please don't be afraid to leave comments at the bottom of the page if you want. Thanks until next time ciao.