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Love Is ........ Love Is Not .......
I just love autumn leaves.
It is a matter of perspective. From a loving perspective love is all things.
When we say we love one another, what do we mean? Certainly when and how we say it even to ourselves, it means different things. Love is many things and love is not many of those same things. We speak here of many types of love and indeed love has many sides to it.
Funny how we say I do not love my dog like I love my spouse when in fact we love them in many of the same ways. It just seems odd to say it that way. We may love flowers and love our little child. And in some ways we love them just the same.We may love garden fresh salads but not the same as we love a steak, and yet in many ways they are just the same kind of love.
People just love to say things like "love is blind". And indeed we understand that a certain kind of love is blind to faults and wrongs. Yet another kind of love is never blind to the beauty of another both inside and out.
So let us look at some of the terms we use and then turn them upside down and inside out.
What a strange notion this idea of love being blue. But I have always loved this simple and uplifting piece.
I love roses and I love children, I especially love them when they are together.
Love is....... and love is not........
Love is kind. Certainly this is one of the finest attributes of love. Especially in this world which is often so unkind, kindness stands out. Sometimes kindness is just a touch and sometimes just a sweet word said in a whisper. Kindness to one another is really something really super duper. We feel good when we get it and we love to give it.
Love is not kind. I had to really get a message of safety across to a 3 year old. That pesky going in the street thing. Oh how he wanted to be in the street. But little 3 year old's are no match for 2,000 lbs of car. And it took a harsh several times for the tyke to get the lesson. I hate being harsh but I know it's place in love. I love the little guy enough to really work at it and do what I do not want to do. I had to scare him out of the street. All is well and now he avoids the street unless holding hands with mom dad or big sister. Love is not always kind.
Love is a great teacher of new things.
Love overcomes all obstacles and yet love has obstacles, think about that.
Love is....... Love is not......
Love is patient. Time and time again another does not return the love we think we need. Time and time again we get burned by another. Time and time again we fail to feel the love coming our way. Time after time we cannot show the love. Mistakes are made and made again. Some days we awake and there is just no love. But that true love is long-suffering and waits and waits. It does not grow restless irritable and discontent. Love is not just about the other it is about what is in our hearts and not someone else's.
Love is not patient. Sometimes we just get a welling up inside of us and nothing in the world matters other than being with that someone else. We get all antsy and we day dream and we are distracted. Love just cannot wait another minute. Sometimes we are just on fire with love and no water can quench that thirst that comes about. At these times we are not patient at all.
Also sometimes we have been patient but the situation calls for some intervention in a loved one's life, this is not the time for love to be patient but rather stern and unyielding and here and now. (notice we did not use the term tough love ;-)
Love is sacrifice
Giving up something that we value for another. Giving up our lives for another. Letting go for another. Working hard for another. Losing sleep for another. Spending all your time and money on someone else's needs.Not doing what you want when you want to. Sharing. Suffering with another. These things are sacrifice and are hallmarks of what we do in love.
But we say no to this as years of loving go by. We come to see that love is not sacrifice at all but doing just what we want when we want to do it. Love is nearly selfish as we turn the corner and get more joy and happiness out of a perceived "sacrifice" than what we ever gave up. It is a dichotomy of sorts that when in love the more we give the more we get. So in love, sacrifice is always a "trading up" and a getting of more than what we give. Sacrifice has a subtle attraction and blesses us fully.
How do you view it?
Is giving something up for love, really a sacrifice?
So there are some things that love never ever is.
I have not found them yet but I know that in love we can just about feel anything. It does not really matter what anyone else says on the matter. I get envious in love. In a sense I get greedy. At some point in time I just cannot get enough of the love and I have those two problems and I assure you that they are in love.
And so we conclude that in fact one of the many things said about love is universally true. Love is all things when you are in love.
Some will shake their heads and so "no way" how can hate ever be a part of love? Well you just imagine how you feel when someone treats a loved one really badly. If you do not have hate then you are nearly a saint.
Don't you dare!
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Of course this is incomplete unless this verse is placed here:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.