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When Love Starts to Hurt

Updated on May 28, 2016
Patrick Patrick profile image

Patrick has been working as a freelance writer for the past 3 years

Let's Get Right To It

Let's Talk Some Of That Love Stuff…

You know love, you have experienced it, you crave to get more of it - you know it is real. I've heard a number of people say that love is an illusion- that it doesn't exist. You know what I think about such people? I think they have been in love, they've been hurt in the process (maybe severally) and ultimately arrive at the conclusion that love does not exist; but you see? They had experienced love and many hope they get to find their true love soon enough. So there- we all believe in love- It exists :) let that sink :)

Ok, enough of that, I want to talk about what happens when that magical thing called love comes to an end. I'm sure you remember the pain, they hurt, the hours you spent feeling all disappointed and such... yeah, those moments sucked big time huh?

Love is beautiful: I remember the very first girl I loved, she was just awesome. She loved me too (At least I like to believe that :)). The very first weeks of the relationship? Felt like I was floating in the air. Even when I was just hanging out with my friends, I always wore this big smile whenever I thought of her. Yeah, man, what happened to those days?

Oh, Sorry about that… went adrift for a moment there, didn't I? I apologize, back to the topic...

Both parties may be hurt when a relationship comes to an end, but sometimes it is just one party that really feels the pinch. Sure, sometimes things don't work out, and the differences identified between the couple are just too much to resolve. So, in this case it may just be wise to let go: Otherwise you would just be postponing the inevitable. Two people in a relationship are supposed to build each other, support each other and bring out the best in each other. Agree? Great,

If the relationship only causes you more hurt, grief and unhappiness then it is my belief that you are just wasting your time with someone you should not be with. It means that you are denying yourself a chance to meet someone who would suit you the best. Yes? Sure...

There are so many young ladies and even young guys who are being mistreated by their partners simply because they have been unable to let go. They want the relationship to work so bad that they are willing to take the abuse. They have become so dependent on their partners for everything that they feel they cannot survive without them...

Wait a minute, have you read my other post on "Who are you? Really"? You should check it out to understand this part better.

Believe it or not, I heard some young, beautiful lady say this;

"If he beats you, it means he loves you"

Yeah, she was talking about how her boyfriend would beat her up on occasions: And no, I am not talking about that kinky sex stuff :)

Seriously, she felt that he demonstrated his love and care by hitting her. Can you believe this mate?

She had become so dependent on the guy: seeking his attention, his approval, and his love that she no longer felt that he was physically assaulting her: Wh.. What the heck man?

Sure, love can hurt when things don't work out, but someone who does not appreciate you and the efforts you’re putting in the relationship is not worth the time and effort- Not at all mate, ok?

Consider the following scenario: one partner is just there feeling hurt and sorry for him or herself and trying to make a failing relationship work while the other is out there enjoying life, and even trying to find someone else;

Sadly, this is the situation in many relationships and even following a break-up. Again, the reality is that it may hurt, but this is no reason to accept abuse or to waste too much time thinking about what could have been. If you did everything you could, but it did not work, then it is time to let it go.

Someone once told me that life goes on regardless of difficult situations.

Pick yourself up, and live your life the best way you can. Failing to do so will only result in you being used, wasting time feeling sorry for yourself and even poor your self esteem. Hell, some people have no idea who they are anymore once the relationship ends…

If the other has moved on, why shouldn't you? You existed before they came in to your life, and you will continue to exist when they are no longer there. Do not be left in a cage that keeps you from moving on with your life- find that strength from within and get back on your feet. You have a lot to accomplish as an individual :)

Some Tips on Moving On

  • You know those good friends you have? Talk to them- there is no shame in sharing: that’s what we have friends for,
  • Find an interesting project and put your efforts in it (this could be anything, building something, wring a book, maybe some business idea?) you can even involve your friends in this,
  • You know that place you always wanted to go? Take a trip there (alone or with friends, which ever you prefer)
  • In the event that you may be experiencing depression, talk to a specialist- really, it helps,
  • Volunteer in some charity,
  • Basically- find something that interests you and direct your efforts and focus there,

Again: You are your own person- Always remember that.


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