- Gender and Relationships
Love Means Not Knowing Whose CDs Are Whose
Before we all downloaded all our music there was a time when CDs ruled the earth. Now for some of us we also remember when cassettes, 8-tracks, reel to reels and a thing called a record ruled the earth and we were all cursing the technology that made us completely replace all our records or cassettes to CDs but I digress. I recently had a thought about being with the same man for twenty-one years. I thought about the fact that most likely we’ll be together until death do us part and while straight couples often stay together for the sake of the kids or something like that we don’t have any children so if we ever did decide to go our separate ways we would certainly have to talk about the cats and the visitation there but other than that I began to think about other things that would be difficult to part with (besides my spouse whom I’m completely silly mad over) and that’s when it occurred to me that love means not knowing whose CDs are whose – Don’t Get Me Started!
Yes, while some people may think that love is someone who takes care of you (either financially or spiritually) what I discovered was that love (when you’ve been in it for as long as we have) finds other ways to let you know you’re in love. After all these years of being together I honestly don’t remember whose CDs are whose. Sure there are some CDs that I specifically remember getting and we have some duplicates from when we first combined our lives and collections (because we have similar tastes in music) but for the most part the over four hundred CDs we have are joined like we are to create a sort of mosaic of our lives that includes pieces of both of us to create one fabulous collection, relationship, life.
Now if I’m being completely honest then I have to admit that I’ve known this for some time and used it to my advantage. You see, like buying your spouse two tickets to a concert or a show (where you’re giving the gift of giving that gives back to you too because you know they’re going to take you to the show) when you buy someone that you cohabitate with a CD, there’s no way that it’s not being downloaded into your collection too. See this way you have the good feeling of giving combined with the really great undercurrent of the feeling of getting because in essence you’re buying the CD for yourself but to all parties concerned it seems like a gift so it’s a win/win. Sure on occasion this technique can backfire but it only backfires every once in a great while so for most CD gift giving your safe in getting too.
The thing you have to do is learn how to finesse this whole thing. I’ll admit that in the beginning I would buy a CD for my spouse, open it, download it to my collection and then give it to him. I never quite got why he thought this made it a used gift. (Okay maybe I wasn’t that stupid but I acted as if I didn’t understand why the lack of a plastic seal made it less of a gift.) So I will tell you that you need to not open it or play it first. I know this sounds like something everyone should know but I chose to ignore knowing it. I thought it made us seem more like a real couple when in essence it just made me a real asshole. (The same can be said for DVDs or anything else that has a seal or wrapper on it – yes, this includes candy bars.)
The amazing thing about being in love is that the longer you’re in it the more you discover just how lucky you are to be in it and how it materializes in the most unexpected ways. I know that people talk about passion ebbing (though I have to tell you I have not experienced that myself) but when you’re in love, really in love you discover that while it sometimes appears on small notes of paper or a dozen roses for a special occasion, the old theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore show is more on the money, “Love is all around.” And as I look around at our home (and the crap we’ve collected) I also see the things that we’ve amassed that not only make us uniquely us but that show our love for certain things and one another. It could be something we bought on one of our trips together that reminds us of that time or it could be something that we never intended to evoke memories or emotions, like our CD collection. Sure we can tell one another we love one another but to me, true love means not knowing whose CDs are whose – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com