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How Can You Tell When Someone Genuinely Loves You

Updated on September 28, 2014
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Love Centers Around Commitment Passion and Intimacy

Ever so often we go around professing that we are so much in love, but the question is, do we really know what is love? The love your partner professes he/she has for you, or what you yourself thought you were feeling could be something very misleading!

Some experts believe love is a feeling of deep affection for and attachment to another person. Love has been defined also as the emotional glue that binds two people together. It has been said that when we love someone, we want to be physical close, to spend time together, to get to know the other person completely, and to do things to please the other person. However, it's believed that the specific experience of love differs from one person to another.

According to one psychologist,love varies from one relationship to another because its mix of components differ. He believes love has the following three possible components:

1.Intimacy

2. Passion

3. Commitment

Intimacy- he defines as the emotional component of love; it's that feeling of closeness, when two people are bound together by mutual affection. It's the process by which people try to get emotionally close to each other by exploring similarities and differences in the ways they think, feel, and behave. People in an intimate relationship show their intimacy by being physically close to each other. When they are walking, talking or working on shared project, their bodies often brush. They may hold hands, embrace, or kiss. Sex is the ultimate form of closeness.

Intimacy is not an act, but a quality, and many people who are intimate in other ways don't express their bond sexually. Yet sex helps to establish intimacy, because it involves intimate touching and forces us to lower some of our social barriers. Thus, most people consider sex an important part of intimacy, but not nearly as important as sharing thoughts,feelings, and dreams. The emotion of love usually accompanies intimate relationships.

Passion - Has been described as the motivational component of love -- the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation.

Commitment - is defined as the cognitive component of love, which is the decision to label a certain relationship "love", and the effort to maintain that relationship over time. Different types of love,is said to have different amounts of intimacy,passion and commitment.

Based on findings, there are six types of love:

  1. Infatuation (Love At First Sight)
  2. Empty Love
  3. Romantic Love
  4. Companionate Love
  5. Fatuous Love
  6. Consummate Love

Infatuation - is passion alone; there is no commitment or intimacy involved.

Empty Love - exist when a person is committed to a relationship where there is no passion or intimacy.

Romantic Love - Here there is intimacy and passion, but there not much commitment ( though commitment may come later).

Companionate Love - When passion is absent, but intimacy and commitment are both present. It's the kind of love that sometimes occurs after years of marriage.

Fatuous Love - There is Passion and commitment but no intimacy involves. This the type of love that is found in a marriage that follows a whirlwind courtship. The partner s have a strong sexual attraction and have decided to share lives, but they have not developed much knowledge of each other or deep feelings or emotional closeness.

*Consummate Love - The love that has been considered the richest of all love; it consist of all three components of love( intimacy,passion and commitment).

Liking which we often confused with love is believed to consist of intimacy without passion or commitment.

Conclusion

Having read all the above information, hopefully, we should all be convinced that beyond all reasonable doubts "love" is complex! Love also varies from one relationship to another because not all relationships have the same mixture of its three components(Intimacy,Passion, Commitment). Also the love you might have been giving or receiving could be something entirely different from the love another person might be receiving or experiencing. Based on the above reasoning, I think it's fair to say that consummate love is genuine love.





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    • mackyi profile imageAUTHOR

      I.W. McFarlane 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia

      Hi Tonipet, thanks for stopping by. Yes, love is very complex, and although we all would like to experience the "richest" of all love (consummate love), for some individuals, unfortunately, most of the time this does not happen! Nevertheless, true love is achievable, but you just have to be patient -- like you have said! After going through my own experience, listening, observing, etc, over the years, I have come to confirm that "Love" is more of an "action" word. It's also a decision! Think about it.

    • Tonipet profile image

      Tonette Fornillos 

      6 years ago from The City of Generals

      Truly love is complex, but I like the kind of love called consummate love :=), well, who doesn't? It may be so hard to find true love that we all so wanted, yet it still pays to wait and hope for one true love. Another spirit-lifting hub mackyi. Why do you write so powerful things about love? :=)... I just love them all! Thanks my friend. I'm voting up up and awesome.

    • mackyi profile imageAUTHOR

      I.W. McFarlane 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia

      Thanks for the words of wisdom sunkentreasure. There are two lines of this writing in particular that I would like to reinforce: 1. "Never take your loved one for granted" and 2."Enrich your lives with prayer". I totally agree with these two lines. No one should ever take anyone for granted, we should always treat people the way we would like to be treated. Last but not least,if we include God in our relationships the chance of succeeding is much greater than when we leave him out!

    • sunkentreasure profile image

      BERNARD LEVINE 

      6 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

      SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE

      Make your love one feel special everyday.

      Do not allow your lives to become routine -

      prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.

      Never take your loved one for granted.

      Keep your love forever precious,

      sacred and beautiful.

      What you put into your love

      is what you will get out of your love.

      Enrich your lives with prayer.

      Always be your partners best friend.

      © Bernard Levine

    • mackyi profile imageAUTHOR

      I.W. McFarlane 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia

      I really appreciate your feedback and I do validate your opinion "There is one kind of love and the rest of them aren't love at all, but deception of love."However, what I am trying to explain here is that there are three main ingredients of "love". However,when a person says he/she is in love, yet one or more component of love is missing, we cannot label this the "standard love",rather, it should be placed in a different category of love, based on the missing component(s)of love. Hopefully, we will no longer allow ourselves to be deceived by people who are only capable of showing us(#1-5)love on the above list.

    • frogtalk profile image

      frogtalk 

      6 years ago

      I agree with you that love is very complex. However, you say that there are six types of love. I disagree. There is one kind of love and the rest of them aren't love at all, but deceptions of love.

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