- Gender and Relationships»
Love and war is all really fair?
Winning in the beginning
So what does the phrase all is fair in love and war really mean? One answer is that life is a difficult thing that affects each person differently. So it is important to remember that people will do what is best for them and this should not be something that we blame them for. This is not always easy to do because someones choices may cause you pain but the person had to do what was necessary to achieve there own happiness. Perhaps if we spend less time wallowing in anger and jealousy we will have more time to do what is best for us as well. Basically relationships and what we do to get into one that will last are considered the game of war. This is because some people will do anything to be with the person that they set there sites on. The person will lie and cheat which are basically weapons of the war to win the fight. This essentially means that if you are competing with another over one love interest it would be in your favor to use your own weapons to win the fight. Hence the term all is fair in love and war. After all even the best people have at one point done something shameful to win the affections of a person that they knew might be interested in another.
When you first see a person who you are attracted to something sparks inside of you and when you know they are interested too a persons mind begins to wonder how they will make this person dedicated to only them. This comes from a desire that psychologists describe as a need to raise our children the right way. However this does not mean that people will automatically stop being attracted to other people. Men get the worst wrap in the scientific community as they are described as unable to control the urges to be with as many women as possible so they can ensure there offspring will survive. For them this is an instinct.However women are also known for promiscuity, often it is hidden because it is looked down upon much more when a women goes outside of the relationship.This can be contributed to outdated social norms that made a woman a mans property and for her to go against what he allows would be unacceptable. The question however is if it is natural for people to be monogamous and the scientists in some communities disagree saying we are not naturally inclined to monogamy we are only socially bound to this commitment (Bryner, 2012). This would explain the immediate need for a marriage and commitment and if we are to keep that commitment and it is important a game begins to entice and lure a mate into a committed marriage. How do we do that? Well people go to extreme lengths to make sure that the person they want is going to want to keep them too. This is the game and the war that will determine who wins and goes home the victor with there new mate. It would be nice to live in a world where we did not have to fight to gain a persons affections however, this is not really an option and if a person is not ready to fight in some way for what they love then it is likely they will lose it to someone who is.
Bryner, J. (2012). Are Humans Meant to Be Monogamous?. LiveScience.com. Retrieved 24 March 2015, from http://www.livescience.com/32146-are-humans-meant-to-be-monogamous.html
The Extreme Stratagies Involved in Dating
To find a person that one likes is simple, to get him or her to notice you back can be challenging. To be noticed people go to extreme lengths to achieve what is perceived as perfection. We may get our ideas from magazines or people we meet and aspire to be like but all is the same the majority of society makes changes to his or her natural self to appease the opposite sex. Some of these changes are subtle and can even be considered personal care like shaving and putting on deodorizers or perfumes. Other people are more extreme applying makeup, getting the perfect haircut and being the perfect weight among so many more options for changing and perfecting beauty. Once the aesthetically pleasing aspects are in place many people will go as far as changing there personality and acting the way they think there crush will respond favorably to. This is where the game begins because if you are not being yourself then you in fact are playing a game of pretend to accomplish the goal of winning the perfect lover. The problem that nobody realizes is once this has begun it does not go away when you get the date. After the first date you have to keep up the fa-sad until the proposal. After the proposal the alter and you guessed it the game does not end with marriage. Once your married if you forget to play the game right you end up divorced and starting over with someone new from the beginning. So the secret to long lasting and monogamous love is to play the game right. Now this can be easy to misunderstand because there is a thin line between acceptable and unacceptable games. If a persons intentions are to play a game with a trophy in mind then monogamy will not be the end result. The game is subtle and more of a constant reminder that you will work for the love you have. You can not just get married and stop trying. Men and women alike fall into a comfortable zone and often forget how much they worked to be with the person they chose. The woman stops getting ready the man stops showering and eventually the most important element goes out the window, attraction. Attraction is more than just who the sexiest person is however there is a small element that a person desires from there mate of this sexual attraction. So it is important to maintain like you are still waiting to meet someone new. My opinion and what works in my marriage is to never stop dating. That means every day treat your lover like you have never met them. Look at them like they are new and surprisingly they will be. I still learn new things about my lover everyday that I try. Second don't forget to look at other people however be careful not to fall into lust. Look at other people and be attracted but also look at there faults, everyone has them and when dating you find them so don't be blind. Seeing someones faults as well as there gains will help you appreciate them but also view them as a real person. Seeing people for what they are will help you appreciate the person you are with even more. Last but not least don't let your relationship get boring. Play games and be young no matter how old you get because it keeps things fresh for me small pranks or jokes always lighten the mood when the days are long.
Love and war the ultimate mind game
All is never fair when it comes to love and war. It is true that even the sweetest people do something to attract someone they like. this is an instinct that everyone has and it is almost animal like. In fact many animals participate in there own rituals which help them appear more attractive than another. Darwin first named this series of events of attraction that we display when he came up with the term "sexual selection". In his opinion it is a persons lips that do the dance. However many others have ideas about what is most attractive when looking for a mate. Girls workout, put on makeup, color there hair and other extreme measures to stand out above the rest. When all else fails there are even cat fights over men where one person sometimes comes out the victor. Men are equally fighting for the affections of a women to be there partner as they workout, do there hair, buy colognes that will attract a woman and many other things. In the end instinct may even lead to two men fighting over one woman's attention. In the end the battle is never really fair because the person that is doing all of these things to win is not showing his or her true self in hopes of winning the battle. There are many tricks to make a person turn there head and male and female alike we use these tricks or tools of war to our advantage.
Jet, Brain. '13 Most Unique Animal Features For Attracting Mates'. Brainjet.com. N.p., 2015. Web. 17 Oct. 2015.
Do you believe in monogamy
How many people believe that there is a person that could make them monogamous and how many people do not think people should be with one person forever?
Take the challenge and cast your vote on Monogomy
Is Monogamy realistic?
What did I do to win the battle?
I am a happily married woman however this did not come easily. Sure it is simple to find someone who is interesting to date but settling down requires finding the perfect person for you and then becoming the perfect person for them. i is important not to change to much about yourself so that the person who chooses you will not feel like they made a mistake. However you have to be more exciting than the rest if you are to have a chance at winning the person you want when others decide they are interested as well.