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How to keep a relationship & cool down after breaking it up?

Updated on December 26, 2013

Journey of a friendship

Dear my friend,

It was a few months ago since we stopped greeting and keeping in touch. It was just a misunderstanding which instilled your emotion. You put me in the position of the one who didn't keep my words. You didn't give me enough chance to explain my reason and you didn't consider my short reason with your cool head. I have filled my heart with regret for days, even though I know it was not completely my fault. It hurt me so much to reflect your last words before you disconnected the line of our conversation but I am trying to understand your temper. It has put me in sorrow at your demeanor to treat me such way, considering how I've put trust on you as my best friend, sharing my feeling, my grief, my family and trying to support you once you found a problem.

My friend, I still remember you and how sweet our friendship was. How much I care about your kids as what I do about my kids. One thing I want to tell you that you are always on my mind and you are always my best friend no matter how you could change thinking of me for I accept you as they way you are with your weakness but also your strength which I admire the most.

I want to thank you for letting me know you and your life. It has opened my eyes how life is - no complete satisfaction in life. It has made me tolerate some parts of my life which I previously felt as a suffer and tear.

My friend, I always pray for your happiness. I wish you get whatever you wish. Your once existence in my life has meant a lot to me. Later, when you reach what you wish, you find somebody who can take a good care of you and your kids, please remember that it is I who will be the happiest person for you; even though you don't share your happiness with me any more. The memory of our friendship will possibly fly away from your life but my pray for your goodness will always stay there. As what you always say that life must go on no matter what has happened, my love is always there for you and your family.

Friendship and marriage are basically not much different. They involve love which leads to giving, forgiving, understanding, sharing, patience, empathy and care. As long as love concerns, failure in friendship or marriage is actually recoverable. It is better if you can take preventive steps to keep a relationship. Four important things that are fundamental to keep good relationship are:

  • Respect - Love needs respect. As a friendship is knotted, you are getting closer and know each other more. You admire his good quality and know his bad side too. Closeness could sometimes weaken mutual respect. Once friends are engaged in an argument, one tends to attack his friend with his weakness which could instill either party's emotion and hurts both. Keeping respect in a relationship is very important. No matter how angry and furious you are, never do or say words which cross the boundary of mutual respect.
  • Forgive - The most common failure in a relationship is misunderstanding. A friendship involves at least two people with their good and bad quality. If you want to be engaged in a long lasting relationship, you must take your friend as they way he is. In this way, you can tolerate his weakness and when it once comes up, shaking up the solidness of your relationship, you can forgive him and bear him no grudge.
  • Maintain good words - Good words like the ones used in praising, admiring, congratulating and supporting are spices of a friendship. Everyone is happy to be praised, admired and supported. No matter how close you are with him, praising each other is some how needed to make your relationship stay warm; admiration to a simple thing when expressed results much more to the solidness of a relationship; supporting and congratulating show a simple care which could mean a lot in a friendship.
  • Always think positively - Any problem, showing up in a relationship should always be handled positively. Prejudging an issue will only worsen the situation and even break a relationship. If you can think positively on any problems in your relationship, you can settle it with your cool head.

How to cool down after breaking up a relationship?

It is possible that a friendship breaks up unintentionally. Disappointment and hatred will usually grow once a friendship fails. A relationship is surely recoverable but it takes some time to get rid of that feeling or to fix the relationship. How to neutralize your feeling after this failure?

  • Reflect on the sweet memories with your best friend. There must be many good stories to remember between best friends. Remember good and bad things experienced and shared together.
  • Accept him as the way he is; with his strength and weakness. By accepting someone, you can understand why he did it to you and tolerate it as his carelessness or misunderstanding.
  • Love is forgiving, so forgive everything he has done to you which could hurt you. Love is giving, so give him your understanding and tolerance.
  • Love is unconditional so never regret breaking up your friendship. You build a friendship with him not to get something beneficial to you but to give each other. Failure in friendship indicates that we still need to learn more about relationship and make our quality better: more patient, more understanding, more tolerance, more acceptance, etc
  • Human relationship is actually recoverable, so find a way to show your regret in the right time. Even though the relation cannot be as good as the one before, at least you don't make enemy with your friend. Do not hesitate to start asking for recovery in relationship as initiator moves ahead than follower.
  • Get rid of hatred from your heart. Always be happy for any good things happening to him and pray for his goodness. What you pray for others is what you get earlier. When you pray for his happiness, you will get a happiness too. On the contrary, when you wish him a bad thing as the revenge of what he has done to you, you will get the bad thing.
  • Do not blend too much in grief and disappointment. There are many things you can do for others than regretting what has failed. All people around you are generally your friend, not best friend though, with whom you can do a lot to make the world happy, bright and beautiful.


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