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Love laugh repeat

Updated on January 22, 2015

Dating these days

I grew up being told by my father that I should never take dating seriously until I have to. Sounds so simple yet i didn't realize the significance of it until I was 25, out of an 8 year volatile relationship and had to figure out what dating really meant. I thought my life was over. My high school sweetheart had abandoned me and left me for a much younger, less educated, less poised version of myself. How was I ever going to "date again"? Back to what my father told me, " don't take dating seriously, until you have to" ... So, that is exactly what I had decided to do. I reluctantly decided to sign up on a few Internet dating websites.

At first, it was exciting and intriguing. My friends all asked me questions like " aren't you scared?" "How do you know he won't kill you?" Etc, I had this feeling that I would simply be fine and I was. I went on date after date after date. In my mind I knew I was being perceived as acting improperly or with little value for myself. However, what they didn't understand is what my father told me. I wasn't taking it seriously.

Our society has programed us to claim exclusivity after the first text message is sent. Young men and women these days are so quick to take claim, take ownership of one another to make sure no one else can "have" that guy or girl. How silly this is but how hard it is to break without being judged or talked about. I wasn't being trashy I was simply dating. The true form of dating as it should be. Going on dates with different guys to see with whom I clicked best.

Everyone needs to calm down and breathe and enjoy being young. Exclusivity too soon leads to marriage too soon. Divorce is so easily provided that no one takes a hard look at their relationships before fully committing. So love, laugh, repeat


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      It's generally "unrealistic" to expect any teenage romance to last forever. Odds are when you met you both had little life experience. Fact of the matter is you probably had not done any serious introspective thinking to figure out who (you) are, what you want, or need in a mate for life.

      Our youth is a time for discovery and evolution. The person who was Mr./Ms. Right at age 18 may not be the kind of person you want at ages 25, 35, or beyond. We're either growing together or growing apart.

      Most young people would be better off to "date for fun", focus on their education, and establish a career path for themselves. Oftentimes people who jump into marriage or long-term relationships in their youth reach a point where they regret missing out on the freedom that comes with being a "single adult". Going straight from your parents home to living with or marrying a high school sweetheart is short changing yourself.

      I completely agree with you regarding the exclusivity desire a lot of folks have. This is especially true of women. Oftentimes they will list an online dating profile stating they're only interested in meeting someone who is looking to settle down with and get married.

      It's as though they've made up their minds they are going to marry the NEXT person the date before bothering to get to know him or her first! Just because two people want to get married does not mean they should marry each other! Every serious relationship I've had began as casual and "evolved" into something serious.

      You can't really know if you want to be in an "exclusive relationship" with someone until you've invested time getting to know them. This doesn't mean you're obligated to see only one person at a time!

      Just like a company who is looking to fill a position you are entitled to interview as many candidates as you need to in order to find the "right" one that qualifies to become your mate.

      Dating is supposed to be a FUN sociable activity! It's not a life or death mission. No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire! Relax and just see what happens next.

      One man's opinion! :)