ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Love laugh repeat

Updated on January 22, 2015

Dating these days

I grew up being told by my father that I should never take dating seriously until I have to. Sounds so simple yet i didn't realize the significance of it until I was 25, out of an 8 year volatile relationship and had to figure out what dating really meant. I thought my life was over. My high school sweetheart had abandoned me and left me for a much younger, less educated, less poised version of myself. How was I ever going to "date again"? Back to what my father told me, " don't take dating seriously, until you have to" ... So, that is exactly what I had decided to do. I reluctantly decided to sign up on a few Internet dating websites.

At first, it was exciting and intriguing. My friends all asked me questions like " aren't you scared?" "How do you know he won't kill you?" Etc, I had this feeling that I would simply be fine and I was. I went on date after date after date. In my mind I knew I was being perceived as acting improperly or with little value for myself. However, what they didn't understand is what my father told me. I wasn't taking it seriously.

Our society has programed us to claim exclusivity after the first text message is sent. Young men and women these days are so quick to take claim, take ownership of one another to make sure no one else can "have" that guy or girl. How silly this is but how hard it is to break without being judged or talked about. I wasn't being trashy I was simply dating. The true form of dating as it should be. Going on dates with different guys to see with whom I clicked best.

Everyone needs to calm down and breathe and enjoy being young. Exclusivity too soon leads to marriage too soon. Divorce is so easily provided that no one takes a hard look at their relationships before fully committing. So love, laugh, repeat


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      It's generally "unrealistic" to expect any teenage romance to last forever. Odds are when you met you both had little life experience. Fact of the matter is you probably had not done any serious introspective thinking to figure out who (you) are, what you want, or need in a mate for life.

      Our youth is a time for discovery and evolution. The person who was Mr./Ms. Right at age 18 may not be the kind of person you want at ages 25, 35, or beyond. We're either growing together or growing apart.

      Most young people would be better off to "date for fun", focus on their education, and establish a career path for themselves. Oftentimes people who jump into marriage or long-term relationships in their youth reach a point where they regret missing out on the freedom that comes with being a "single adult". Going straight from your parents home to living with or marrying a high school sweetheart is short changing yourself.

      I completely agree with you regarding the exclusivity desire a lot of folks have. This is especially true of women. Oftentimes they will list an online dating profile stating they're only interested in meeting someone who is looking to settle down with and get married.

      It's as though they've made up their minds they are going to marry the NEXT person the date before bothering to get to know him or her first! Just because two people want to get married does not mean they should marry each other! Every serious relationship I've had began as casual and "evolved" into something serious.

      You can't really know if you want to be in an "exclusive relationship" with someone until you've invested time getting to know them. This doesn't mean you're obligated to see only one person at a time!

      Just like a company who is looking to fill a position you are entitled to interview as many candidates as you need to in order to find the "right" one that qualifies to become your mate.

      Dating is supposed to be a FUN sociable activity! It's not a life or death mission. No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire! Relax and just see what happens next.

      One man's opinion! :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)