ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to recover from a break up

Updated on March 21, 2015

The First Hurdle

Like the marathon that is 'Life', the first meaningful break up will face you with the immovable 'wall'. An obstacle seemingly impassable at first, but as time progresses, brick-by-brick, the wall crumbles away to reveal the light on the other side.

Now, every single human-being on earth reacts differently to a break up.

Some cry for weeks alongside the 'Deadly Duo': Ice cream and alcohol.

Some blame the world and get into trouble or dangerous situations.

Some end up taking their own lives.

Though the first example can be stereotypically humorous, the following examples show the potential damage that a break-up can cause.

For these reasons, the people seeking guidance need to find the right advice to hold their hand through this desolate period time.

I am here for you. Though I do not know you nor will I likely ever know you. Know that I am here solely for you.

The First Step in the Right Direction

The feelings you feel are entirely natural.

Sorrow, anger, grief, confusion.

These, like all emotions feel awful at the time, but all pass with time.

I have been through a vast array of these kinds of emotions over the years and stand as a living testament that they can all be overcome.

The light is waiting just on the other side.

What happened to you?

Were you left without an explanation?

Were you cheated on?

Were you pushing your partner away?

Did you have an affair which lead to the break up?

No matter the situation, I will be covering every single scenario and if I miss one out leave a comment explaining your struggles and I will do an exclusive post for you.

The long road ahead.

How long will it take to heal?

Each individual will experience different pathways when breaking up with their partner.

The journey to recovery may be a long and difficult one if say you have just come out of a 3-4 year relationship.

On the other hand, a relationship under a year will often present a swifter recovery time.

As obvious as these two sentences seem, they can be entirely wrong in many cases.

In numerous cases, two people can form an strong emotional bond in the space of a night let alone months or years. Severing that bond leaves scars on both sides.

To aid your progress following a break-up, here are a few tips just to warm you up for the upcoming posts:

An occupied mind eases the pain.

Have you ever noticed that the busier you are, the less focused you are on any of your worries, aches, pains and everyday feelings that you would normally be fully aware of? This process functions the exact same when suffering from a broken heart.

Sitting in your room wallowing in sorrow and grief only amplifies the painful feelings. Instead, get outside, get busy. Wash up, tidy up, listen to music, sing in the shower, go for a run, go out with your friends, go travelling. In getting lost you will often find yourself.

All these examples will help you get over him/her in half the time with half the pain I can assure you.

Going back to them repeatedly is a bad cycle

In life couples break-up some times. Whether it is due to an argument, difference of opinion or something entirely different. In these cases the break-up normally lasts about a week or two and the flames are rekindled. Because face it, the flames never really went out.

In some relationships, these small break-ups can become a pattern. A vicious cycle.

What does this tell you?

Something is wrong and is either not being resolved or it simply cannot be fixed. Following this pattern will only prolong the healing process when the break-up finally becomes permanent. For this reason, cut this pattern out entirely as soon as possible or suffer the consequences of your lack of action/willpower.

Don't copy, cut or paste. Just delete and erase.

Keeping pictures, phone numbers, social media friendships, clothing, property or souvenirs of your ex-partner will only reopen your wounded heart each time you see them.

Do not retain anything of there existence.

Rather than save your 'couple' pictures into a secret folder that you know you're going to look at again and again, just delete them. Holding on to these false hopes and stabbing memories will only upset you more everyday.

You are Strong. You are Independent. You are Powerful.

You can get through this.

You have a heart of elastic. It will always come back to you.

Below is a simple poll to see what the most common break-up circumstances are so that I can adjust the content of my posts to suit your needs.

It is completely anonymous so fear not.

Vote away!

What kind of break-up are you going through?

What kind of break-up are you going through?

See results

Bridges broken. New ones rebuilt in their place.

Love Lost. Love Found.

After a break-up many people go through the same thought process.

I'm never going to find someone as good as them.

I'm never going to find love again.

I'm never going to have what I had with them.

These thoughts circulate over and over again, as though they're trapped, desperate to escape our minds.

That's because they are.

These thoughts are often automatically placed in your head as a form of survival instinct. By clinging to the one you relied upon and placed your faith in, safety and happiness surely will surround you...Not always the case.

As the picture above suggests, this event in your life can be seen from two opposing perspectives.

It can be seen in the same way as mentioned just above.

Or it can be seen as a positive.

Yes, your relationship may have crumbled, but as the phoenix rises from the ashes, a new relationship can be resurrected from lessons you learned from your past experiences.

Thinking of break-ups as complex and emotional learning curves will form stable, secure and thoughtful foundations to base your next relationship upon.

A relationship built upon shifting sand will inevitably sink and fail.

A relationship built upon such solid foundations - utilising the lessons of your past - will hold strong and likely be the most beautiful and luxurious experience of your life.

Learning from previous mistakes only prepares us for avoiding them in the future.

Find that solid foundation in your life and build upon it with pride and dignity.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Dr Billy Kidd profile image

      Dr Billy Kidd 

      3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      I love that subtitle: "Don't copy, cut or paste. Just delete and erase"!

      I tell people to return stuff immediately and don't call or think about it for 30 days. People begrudge me saying that but when they do it, it works. Like you said: think about something else; don't keep going back.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)