Love.Time.Eternity

I met someone... Traditionally that's how it starts I guess. I mean you have to meet the person before you really know what you have right? I think so anyway. But I feel like she is not just someone to explain, but more like “some thing” to explain. I get how that sounds, kinda awkward to talk about someone special to you and call them a “thing”. But its true, because this really isn't traditional at all. In fact you could say unique, or unexplainable, heck I will even take Magical! Far from traditional though.

She is my secret. But only for now, well... that's not true because in a way she will always be my true secret. The lock on my heart, the password of my soul. At least that's how she makes me feel. Aww feelings... I have to admit I never thought I would have them. And if by now I don't sound a bit corny or mushy then just wait. But hopefully it will come across as poetry, because that is my intention. Okay, so feelings, mushy, poetry, covered! Now back to the secret...

This will go on to be something greater one day. But for now my secret will remain here in the form of words, in the form of calligraphy etched upon a tree stump. This will be my blog, but also my letters of passion. My thoughts are to speak openly about how strongly I feel for this woman, and how right she is for me. So she is my secret, for now. But I cannot go through a dozen letters calling her my secret woman, gotta give her a name. And yes, I realize she has a name, but that would pretty much conclude our secret wouldn't it? Besides I know she will probably give me crap for making her a nickname on here. But its a playful kinda thing, she gets me. So for now lets just call her Savvy.

There is a reason I gave her that name but we will get to that later. Most importantly I want you to recognize why I am doing this, and why for her. Sure, I can claim this is just a letter to her showing my feelings in a public setting. I can also say this is just a sappy love letter from the heart. But what it really is... is eternity. I have been a complex soul of science and life for a long time, and one thing I've learned. Is what's written, remains, like echoes beyond any formality of time. Now what about the “Why her?”. Well that is exactly what you'll learn from every letter to come, including this one.

Savvy came into my life at pure random chance. There was no way to see this coming, believe me I tried. Ever seen those movies where people say there is a connection between them? Think of it like that for a moment, then imagine we add a little more detail. This connection between us grew with each passing second. It was like an apocalyptic event of the heart, in fact it still is, and I believe with all certainty it always will be. See like most apocalyptic events, they start with something quite contagious. Like disease, famine, violence, etc. This one started with a tiny spark, to apparently an already existing connection. How do I know it already existed? Well I thought you'd never ask...

“...it must have been late into the evening. You were already beat I could see it the moment I looked at you from the doorway. I put my things down and crossed the hall into what I assumed was the den or study. I hadn't a clue where I was but at the same time I felt like it was home, our home. As I walked closer to you, I remember smiling. At first I didn't know why I was smiling, but when I saw you working at your desk. Slightly hunched over with one elbow on the desk and your fingers through your hair, supporting the weight of your head. Then I knew. It was like I had seen this before and I smiled because I knew you had been working on that project all day, everyday for a week. You had to have been exhausted. I think you were so focused on the project you probably didn't hear me come in. So I quietly pulled up a chair next to you. I put my elbows on the desk, laid my arms out and rest my head down looking at you. You didn't even flinch! You just simply put your pencil down and turned around. You looked at me slightly and then immediately laid your arms out like mine and rest your head looking at me. What was probably minutes, seemed like an endless moment in time. Because at that moment, neither of us said a thing. We just looked at each other, eyes tired but open wide. Your beautiful blonde hair had a slight wave to it. A strand had fallen over your arms just in front of your face. You had a slight arch in your eyebrow and a calm relaxed smile on your face. Your eyes... just impossible to escape from. I remember every second of how that felt. We were comfortable, and happy. Our hearts could be found beating in our eyes, the sound still deafening. I got the sense that we had done this before, many times. It felt like it was earned. I remember feeling there was more than just love. It was almost indescribable, the best words I could think of was... Lost.”

These dreams started shortly after the first couple times Savvy and I had seen each other. They continue to happen at random, sometimes I am not sure if I am still in them. Other times I feel like it wasn't a dream, more like a memory. What makes these dreams feel so much more important then just laws of attraction. Is that they are so clear, precise, and potent. I am sure most people say their dreams felt so real, so alive and like they are really there. But no, I didn't feel like I was in them. I felt like I was re-watching them. I still do. Every time I see one, it feels like a recalled memory. And then it stays, it doesn't go away and get forgotten. I am still trying to comprehend everything that is happening between us. I honestly feel like this is new to me. But every single time I see her, every single time I am with her. My heart races, like the first time I ever felt this way. And then a rush of energy burns through me and I am calmed, like I am being reminded that it's always been her all along.