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Loves Me...Or Not

Updated on November 18, 2008

Relationships are one of the very few things in life that are strictly for you, and for no one else. It is up to you to decide who you want to be in a relationship with, and for how long. When it comes to choosing, keep three things in mind.

1. Don't feel obligation. The worst types of relationships are when one party feels obligated to stay with another, out of a sense of duty, or because the partner's feelings have not changed. The best thing to do is to get out of the dysfunctional relationship. As much as you are trying to be nice and noble by sparing the other person's feelings, in the longrun their feelings may be hurt more knowing that you really weren't invested in the relationship for all that time. It also hurts you, because it prevents you from being in the relationship you want, with a person you care about. The first and foremost thing about relationships is that you should be happy in them.

2. Follow your heart, not somebody elses. Sure, someone might love you, but do you love them back? Would a relationship with that person give you everything that you need? Don't be afriad to make it about you. While every good relationship does need compromise to work, the foundation of a relationship requires one thing only: that the two people in it share a level of love. Without this aspect, one person may be happy, but the other is miserable, and this does not make for a healthy relationship when it comes time to making important decisions. If there is something that's interested, but you're not, it might not be necessary to head things off, but don't confuse them by giving mixed signals. Pick a signal, and stick with it.

3. You don't have to pick either! Just because there are perhaps two extremes, one who loves you but who you do not love, and one that you love but perhaps does not love you, does not mean those are your only two options. I would not pick either, because in one relationship you will be struggling to earn affection, while in the other you may be strained to give it. You are better off finding out how the person you love feels about you, and if they share your feelings, then great. But if they don't, keep looking, because there is another relationship out there where the feelings are more mutual.


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