- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Love to sex, sex to love
The nitty gritty
Sex and love is more complicated than a rubics cube. Often times, people confuse good sex with love, and love with good sex. Why do we sometimes let lust influence us more than love? There is not a simple explanation to this question, only an articulated argument. It takes us as humans a while to fall in love, but it only takes us one good sex session to fall in lust (sometimes it only takes the right look from the right person). Humans let physical attraction override a mental connection. We get our mind blown one time, and all of a sudden, we are hooked on a person. This is how you meet the wrong people. A person being good at sex doesn't mean that a person is good at love. Good nookie is a good talent to have for someone you love. When we get that good nookie, we forget or sometimes don't even care about the negative aspects of a person. For example, let's say you meet someone. They have no job, four kids, and are currently on trial for murder (harsh isn't it?). You have sex with the person, even after they tell you all this. You're thinking "It's just sex, nothing major". Well you didn't expect the sex to be that good. It was so good, you want it again, and again, and again. Before you know it, yall are in a relationship and you are tied up in all of their mess. Everybody is telling you that you can do better, but you are blinded by the sex. Sometimes sex can overshadow bad qualities in a person, which is not necessarily a good thing. This is where people confuse love with sex and sex with love.
Now why is it so hard to love when the sex is bad? Good sex can sadly conquer pure affection. It is possible to love someone, but not love everything about them. Sex can be one of the things that you don't like about a person. To some this isn't a big deal, but to others this is a major issue. All of us won't admit it, but we all want someone who's going to fulfill all of our sexual fantasies. But sometimes the person that we are committed to cannot fulfill these fantasies. Then we end up looking in the wrong places for love. We sometimes care more about sexual satisfaction than overall good compatibility. Why is this? There is a more simple explanation to this topic than in the previous paragraph. Here it is: THE TANGIBLE OUTWEIGHS THE METAPHYSICAL. Let's break this down. It is easier for two private parts to connect than two minds to connect. You can remember mind blowin sex for a long time. But you can't always remember what you and someone talked about over the phone, no matter how interesting the topic was. Its much easier to talk with your fingers than your mouth. This is natural human instinct. Our minds receive greater signals from the body when physical activity is involved. This doesn't mean a person is weak-minded. This is only how we perceive the world and the people in it. Especially the people who gave us the mind-blowing pleasure.
Finding good loving and good sexing from the same person is a great combo. Although the love aspect is indeed more important than the sex, you shouldn't stay with a person if you are not physically satisfied AND have ambitions to cheat. Talk to your lover if their loving isn't to your liking. Love to sex, not sex to fall in love.