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Men and Sex. Where Did you Learn That?

Updated on August 17, 2015

Surprise her tonight!

Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.
~ by Charles Stanley ( A Man's Touch) ~

Women are like ovens. We need 5 to 15 minutes to heat up.
~by Sandra Bullock~

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

~by Oscar Wilde~

Things Women Don't Like But Never Tell You

Guys…before reading any further let me preface by saying this….if you have learned all your tricks and moves from watching porn; this article is especially for YOU! One of the worst things a man can do is mimic what is shown on today’s porn movies. All that rough and highly acrobatic maneuvering is not really what a woman wants. I know, I know…on the movies she seems so enthralled. The ecstasy is simply (literally) oooozing but seriously…it’s a movie. It’s not real, it’s not real life and it’s not even what a woman needs in order to be satisfied. Now I certainly do not speak for all women. I only speak from personal experience and those girlfriends who have openly discussed these ideas with me. The majority of women out there are constantly tolerating and the majority of men are blinded by mass media with ideas of how to have sex which are just not accurately portraying what a girl wants. If you want to please a girl; show her you can take it slow. Tenderness, sensitivity (innocence), gentleness and showing her you enjoy her body are the best ways to enrich a sexual experience.

Here is my top five list of things we really don’t like (I am trying to keep it as PG as I can):

1. Kissing 101: What are you doing with your tongue? There is nothing more annoying than having your guy exploring your mouth with his tongue as if he is drilling for oil. We are not ice cream cones or lollipops and we definitely would prefer you didn’t clean our teeth please! Stop trying to be interesting and just kiss me damn it! Don’t get so caught up in what you think we want you to do and just enjoy the kiss…it will be better with that simple thought.

French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".

Great Sex Advice Video

2. Moving in for the Kill: Already? Wait…I am not ready for this yet!! Okay, I will preface by saying that yes…there are times for quickies. In which case my pointers are out the window for the most part but if you are not in it for a quickie and would like long and satisfying sex; than do that. Have LONG and satisfying sex. Long is the key word as in prolong. Don’t do the whole kissy kissy and go straight for 3rd base without warming up the engine. Men need to understand that women don’t have a rocket launching button…we are more like starting a fire with flint and it takes a little time and coercion. Yes, I know it sounds complicated but honestly, you will enjoy your girl much more if she is hot and ready for the race!

3. Digging for Gold: Okay I don’t want to get X rated on this one but please use your imagination to surmise what I am referring to. Guys…just because we like how you feel inside of us doesn’t mean we like anything in us! Get the picture. Why men think it is a turn on to be in there fishing or something is beyond me. Tenderness, guys…tenderness.

4. Acrobatics: As I mentioned above, we really don’t enjoy when you throw our legs over our heads or suggest we do squats for an hour. Honestly, we will probably do it if that is what you really like but it is more painful than it is pleasurable for us. That is not to say we don't enjoy new things and certainly new positions. Make a game of it...get one of those fun kama sutra decks and pick out an interesting position together. That is much more of an intimate and fun experience than just tossing her around like a rag doll because you think she likes it.

5. Playing the jackhammer game: We are not a board that you need to nail down or a piece of meat needing pounding. Take it easy will ya! Yeah, there is a moment when we are ready for you to move quickly but don’t start off so speedy. Slow it down there cowboy! Allow us to find our rythm and in turn our happy spot.

This is not a set in stone framework for sex as not every woman is the same but based on plenty of conversations with a variety of women...the consensus is if you keep in mind some of these standard habits you will find your time in the sack to be enjoyable and much more fulfilling!

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    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 3 years ago from Neverland

      You will do very well Nate…Thanks for the comment!

    • NateB11 profile image

      Nathan Bernardo 4 years ago from California, United States of America

      This is good information, because people ought to be real and connected to real life instead of trying to imitate the fake stuff from movies. I'm also kind of relieved because my experiences have been more real than movie-like. And I am also fond of the things you listed that women are fond of.

    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 4 years ago from Neverland

      Thanks so confident! Glad you stopped by!!

    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 4 years ago

      You have some good pionts there aswell as some ideas, thanks

    • dagny roth profile image
      Author

      dagny roth 5 years ago from Neverland

      Oooooh...I like it Levertis! Good song to pair! Thanks for commenting!!

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime

      Oh my stars! What? You tell them! I . . . Well, my, my!

      Wives, A fine gift for Cowboy Quick Draw McGraw would be a CD of the Pointer Sisters' 1980's hit, "I Want a Man With a Slow Hand." He will get the point along with an unforgettable song.

    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 5 years ago from Neverland

      Thanks Joe! I appreciate the comment!

    • profile image

      Joe 5 years ago

      Interesting article. I liked it ..Naughty style of writing too..Job well done mate..Thanks..:)

      Visit:http://fullthrottleondemand.ca/blog/?p=15

    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 5 years ago from Neverland

      Thanks Gypsy!! I have to admit...tackling this topic such that it wasn't completely obscene was tricky. As far as the "jackhammer" well, great minds think alike :-)

    • GypsyFootedWoman profile image

      GypsyFootedWoman 5 years ago

      ha ha ha #5! I thought I was the only one who referred to that awful experience as the Jackhammer. So sad that it is common enough to be a term coined near and far. I also have quite a bit of advice I’d like to share about this hubs topic, but was not sure I wanted to do all the fancy keyboard Olympics to make it suitable for Hubpages. You handled this topic well, thanks for sharing.

    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 5 years ago from Neverland

      Thanks Angel. Yeah, I tend to be a bit unfiltered. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Angelme566 profile image

      Angelme566 5 years ago

      This is so cute... written decently but a bit naughty ! I love the way you narrate things...

    • profile image

      Abdalla Hassan Ahmed 5 years ago

      hiiiiiiiiiii

    • bladesofgrass profile image

      bladesofgrass 7 years ago from The Fields of Iowa

      What a great way to start my morning! LOL Absolutely agree on every point. I have a lot of girlfriends who also complain about all this and then some. Love the "motor" reference. I'd also like to add, that it is not enjoyable to us if the men run out of gas before we have even had a chance to begin. ;D Great Hub, glad to be a fan

    • mroricle1973 profile image

      mroricle1973 7 years ago from Virginia Beach

      Very well written.... Great Hub

    • dagny roth profile image
      Author

      dagny roth 8 years ago from Neverland

      LOL!! Yes Adam...so glad you understood my innuendo! Cavernous...now that's a good word! Thanks for stopping by!

    • profile image

      Adam B 8 years ago

      Hmm...digging for gold...is that when you are engaged in the act and the hand is exploring other cavernous openings?

    • dagny roth profile image
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      dagny roth 8 years ago from Neverland

      Thanks Hawkes! I am glad and hope so too! It should be a must forward to our husbands and boyfriends.

    • Hawkesdream profile image

      Hawkesdream 8 years ago from Cornwall

      Quite right Dagney, lets hope all men take heed, I found myself laughing throughout , it's so real.