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How to Eliminate Bad Marriage Experiences even before they Happen

Updated on April 29, 2012

Why do some relationships fall apart so easily and so very early? And who would you blame if things didn’t work out so fine? Today I am focusing on the types of girls one should watch out for so as to prevent such bad romance. After giving it some serious thoughts, I think I can say that I have arrived at the some very important advice for eliminating bad marriage experiences in the future with some of these very important dating advice and I am giving them all out here – for free. Yours now is to act upon it, if you feel like, after all, I believe you must have heard most of them before.

But the problem with giving these types of advices is the problem with the human mind. If you happen to be anything like me, then you will surely agree that there is usually this temptation that goes with telling someone what or what not to do.

In my own case, if you tell me to do something, sometimes, something inside me which I don’t want you to call the devil right now will tell and guide me to do otherwise. It works the same when you tell me to NOT to do something.

Don’t strafe. Don’t drink alcohol. Don’t ever miss Sunday mass. Don’t smoke ganja. Don’t listen to rap music. Don’t visit certain types of hot websites. Don’t lust after girls. Don’t talk to strangers or accept gifts from them. Don’t allow Jehovah Witness to preach to you. Don’t watch certain types of movies…Don’t do this; don’t do that!

And immediately I will feel the urge to do all that…

Similar to what happened in that Garden of Eden with that tree of life?

But today, I will be doing the same thing. I will be giving you these same valuable advice in that same line but…

But then, what if you decide to do the opposite?

That’s exactly my point! Like Nigerians will normally say wahala dey there o! That is to say, you are simply on your own!

But then in the end, I still know it’s still your business. I know it’s your life to live but then please try to make the right choice at first…always.

Let me open up this dating advice series by telling you in my own opinion, the types of girls you should never go after for marriage…

Remember, my ulterior motive is to make the following dating advice as humorous as possible and I seriously hope that you will soon discover and agree with me that it is still very possible to say that within any humor there could be some very important hard truths…

So are you ready? OK, Listen.


Don’t go after girls you think or you know are physically stronger than you.

One of my neighbors recently made this almost irreparable mistake and he is now “enjoying” the fruits of his laborious romantic but ill advised foray laboriously.

Today, he is still married with this man-beater but I know it is only just. Not that he can’t get out but will he ever be able to overcome the fear as well as the risks involved?

Sometimes when he walks by, people smirk and talk behind his back.

But I don’t blame them. I mean, what was the man thinking when he married a woman three times his size? Or was he forced into the whole thing? Ok, now I get it. Maybe he was thinking about all those succulent and ample flesh to the extent that he probably forgot and/or overlooked those sturdy muscles too…and he is now paying the price.

The woman knows how to keep the man quiet just by directing at him her freezing looks which most times look fiery to me even as a bystander. Man!


Don’t Go After Girls That You Don’t Trust

You know this already, don't you? Neglect this very advice at your own peril. I am well aware that finding someone to trust is very hard but that doesn’t mean you should just jump into any girls that you come across. You have to open your eyes.

Trust is a very big issue. In fact, somehow I think I will personally rate trust above every other thing in a relationship. Love could be blind but I haven’t heard of blind trust in relationship yet.

When you trust this girl, you should be aware of what is really at stake. You are saying that you have no fear that she will represent your interests all the time. You are saying that you are trusting her with the responsibility of protecting and caring for your children, you are entrusting your life into her hand because she is also going to be responsible for preparing and serving your meals.

You will be entrusting to her most of your secrets and dreams and you are saying that you are so sure she will not harm you or destroy you in the future with such information.

Please go over it all over again. Are you sure you can trust this woman. Don’t tell me “you know people change…”


Don’t go after women who are only interested in your money.

This is not supposed to be funny. You might be thinking this advice is coming from a stingy’d angle but then it is so true. If the girl you are with now is only in it because your pocket is loaded, then I’m afraid because there is fire on the mountain and you know what? I think you should run, run, run…

Don’t wait to find out if she is going to stay when all that money is used up because money like honey attracts these girls like bees when and only when you see it and that means she’s gonna bounce herself out of your moneyless life when your cheques to her start to bounce, unless…

So don’t wait till your case becomes like this other guy people now laugh at whenever he passes by because on mere seeing him i.e. his drained self actually, you just remember this song by that funny John Okafor a.k.a Mr. Ibu who once said that “money go; woman go”.

I know the problem is how to discover if the girl is really after your money. Actually, it’s not all that difficult to see if and only if you really want to see.

Similar to the trust issue, there are several little tests, temptations and traps you could set for her to determine her true intentions but those will be the subject for another day when I decide to reveal them but as for now, I don’t want to rain on your (or is it actually her) parade.

You just have to be careful.


Don’t go after a woman if you don’t think she is sexually attractive to you.

Anyway as they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. What I think is sexually attractive in a woman might just be so repulsive in your sight. You know it can happen. So sorry, I can’t completely advice you on this one.

But…

Remember, sex is always such an important factor in things of this nature. Neglect this also at your own peril.

The only thing I can say is that you should be able to know exactly what you want, what you find sexually appealing…unless you believe in miracles and miraculous sayings such as “tomorrow will be better!”


Don’t go after girls whose families and/or religion come first

Some girls are like that. Their family comes first. You may be lucky if you even get the second spot. They are easy to spot. It is always my mommy says this it is like this; my daddy wants it that way...

She is having a very difficult time differentiating your family from hers. In fact, she is already thinking your family is going to be shaped and molded after hers in similar fashion.

You may not have any problem with that if her family is quite well-to-do and also a nice model suitable for copycatting but think again, brother.

You may end up having a mother-in-law who doubles as your advisor in all family matters – personal and otherwise.

At some point in time, you may discover that your in-laws are now the ones that say what goes on in your family…in your own home! Goddamn!

One thing I know, one direct consequence of this absurd situation is the gradual or systematic to complete elimination/alienation of your own family – your parents, your siblings and other relations from your life.

The problem in there is that on that very day when due to some unforeseen circumstances, your dear(?) wifey decides to abandon you (for good), you may have no where and no one to turn to!

I have seen it happen many times.

Similar to the family issue, is the issue of girls whose religion comes first. I know religion is a SUPPOSED to be private business but in reality is it?

When you fall into the clutches of these types of girls whose religion MUST always come first, you may end up playing second fiddle and playing catch up to this other unseen guy whose name happens to be…wait for it…Jesus, of course!

My lawd, my gawd!


Don’t go after any girl for marriage because of sympathy.

The human mind could be very devilish at times.

Maybe she’s getting older and age is no longer her friend. Maybe she is disabled. Maybe she helped you financially in the past. Maybe you are just a good Christian. Maybe she told you about how terrible men have treated her in the past. Whatever.

Then you develop this sympathy for her.

At first you may confuse this sympathy you have for her for love. In that case, lucky for her. And if you are able to sustain it, then lucky for both of you.

But from what I have seen and heard, sometimes the reverse is usually the case. Like I said earlier this our human mind could be so devilish and one morning you might just wake up feeling used or maybe she does something that really angers you or maybe you discovered this other girl that has all what you really wanted and what do you do next?

You suddenly discover it’s time to tell her what’s really on your mind and you blurt it out by saying to her, ”You know, I wouldn’t have married you in the first place!”.

And then the bomb goes off.

Wow! The horrible truth everyone was shying away from is finally out. Time to face the music!

She will feel disappointed, shattered and heartbroken almost to the point of committing suicide. And you? Even if your heart is made of stones, you will surely feel some remorse which may haunt you for life.

It’s really crazy so I think it’s wise and better you steer clear on time!


Don’t go after women who are chronically sharp-tongued

One thing (almost) all men need and wish for in this life is a female companion who will always ginger them up with strong motivational messages and strong words of encouragement.

These types of women will be highly sought after when it comes to marriage because they are the ones that will give the man to courage to continue pushing on to the limit.

But if you end up with a sharp-tongued lady, you are in deep shit!

She will always drive you up…up the wall only with her highly acidic sharp-tongued verbose and attitude!

And then you crash-land but I know that will never be your portion if you heed this advice and make the right decisions first unless you are physically and mentally ready for that type of vitriolic verbal wars. Me, I’m not! Never!


Don’t go after a girl when you notice the competition is too heavy

Obviously. If the number of men seeking her hand in marriage is more than enough, then many things could be involved. This type of severe competition most times tends to confuse the girl in making her own clear-cut decisions…in choosing you!

First she might become haughty. Secondly, you might just be wasting your precious time pursing shadows. And that means you might be setting yourself up for a shattering heartbreak when she finally opens us and tells that either she is taking her time to make her own decision or she will even tell you flat that it won’t work.

Finally, how much jealousy can you stomach before you finally blow up?

Unless you:

  • Are up for the challenge
  • Know that she really loves you, only that she is taking so much time in going through the motions doing the normal female hard-to-get shenanigan and/or she is testing your patience and/or your depth of love for her
  • Know that the other guys are not serious
  • Are truly and deeply in love with her
  • Are well aware that she is already pregnant for you and there is no going back
  • Have no other choice than to pray and wait for luck to shine upon you

My brother, I suggest you should just walk away from all that trouble. Believe me when I tell you that there are many other fishes, even finer fishes, in the sea!

And the last but not the least, let’s spice it up with some lil humor…


Don’t go after girls at nights and during Christmas or Easter period, period!

This one is more or less from a personal but funny point of view. Wonders happen at nights, under the cover of darkness. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it night-times have a way of masking girls making them somewhat prettier. I think this is because during night time,what you normally see is girls and not just the girl...

I am not so sure about this but I think part of the reason why this happens is because nights enable guys to freely and brazenly concentrate on other parts of girls’ bodies other than the face. Something daytime denies them. But I’m so sure this can easily get you as a guy confused in making your choice if you don’t take your time to look very well before you leap.

But it doesn’t stop there. Nights also has a way or removing all forms of inhibitions and dropping of all pretense from some girls thus making them to go haywire and at such she might even start to display certain “odd” behaviors that will certainly shock you if it was done during the day! But now it’s under the cover of darkness and everyone is feeling quite safe!

That very shock could linger for quite a long time in you. I know what I am saying.

Similarly, during festive moments, especially Christmas periods, many girls transform into something so pretty and beautiful that you will be forced to say to that guy that guy who said that the beautiful ones are not yet born “Sharrap! who told you that?” while hanging one or two uppercuts on his lower jaw…

The unannounced competition for the most beautiful girl in town usually automatically heightens around that period among the ladies as they battle to outdo and outclass each other in the department of ‘looking cute and beautiful’. Like one Igbo proverb used to say, all lizards lie on their stomachs so you will never know the one that has dysentery.

Me, I’m not complaining because I love it that way too but I know that some guys who think they are fast guys will later and shockingly discover that a fast one has been played on them and it’s because of this Christmas season visual deception…

Now listen up!

Even if you don’t want to believe anything I have managed to tell you so far, please…please…please, don’t forget this very one.


Never you approach a girl from behind

I mean it. Don’t be fooled by what you are looking at from the back because you might be just be setting yourself up a very short but staggering sucker punch…when you see the front!

I know what I’m saying!

Jeezus!

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    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 5 years ago from Indiana

      Fascinating stuff.