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Mail Order Brides – Love, Money or Control?

Updated on September 20, 2011

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I believe in Love and that it can be found in various ways. According to Wiki:

"Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who publishes her intent to marry someone from another, usually more financially developed, country.”

They list themselves in catalogues or online and are selected by men for marriage. I’m sure many men have found true Love this way ٩(•̃•̃)۶ ♥ ٩(•̃•̃)۶ but I can’t help but see the other side of the coin which is:

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a) Most of the men are twice the age of the lady concerned.

b) When the “bride” travels back with her husband – she loses her independence and becomes totally reliant on him. Not only financially, but in communication because most of them don’t speak English. In some instances, things have gone terribly wrong.

c) Womens Rights Campaigners see it as being one step away from Human Trafficking.

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* You never know though – True Love could blossom.

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One lucky man with his Russian Bride

Useful Tips for Men

Some Men say they are tired of aggressive, feminist, western women and with *25,000 women signing up to marriage agencies yearly (and that’s just Russia – *Sky News) I’m sure the men will be spoilt for choice. So, if you are a man thinking of getting a Mail Order Bride, here are some helpful tips.

a) Don’ fall in love with a photo. Get to know the person.

b) Communicate with many ladies and meet as many as you can.

c) Try not to to rush things.

d) Get some language skills. E.g, If you are going for someone from Ukraine, then learn a few words and phrases from Ukraine.

e) Find about the woman’s culture, E.g Russian brides have a Russian brides ransom culture.


Also, bear in mind that there are many factors why women resort to international dating. Some see it as a way out of living in their society, others seek to escape abusive men in their country and ofcourse some are genuinely looking for L♥ve.

The Cost varies from $1,000 to $15,000. for more details click: Here

•*¨*•♥ Good Luck •*¨*•

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    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      @Paxwill

      Thanks for sharing. Some men are genuinely looking for love and it's a pity they are being used as a passport for good immigration status. I think a few do find genuine love though, with Mail Order brides. Small percentage.

      It's definitely better to be single than to marry for convenience. Cheers.

    • profile image

      paxwill 

      6 years ago

      It's all too common for mail order brides to leave their husbands once they get into the country on a valid visa. Most of them are just trying to get out of poverty and don't really care for their older sugar daddies. If a woman is desperate, she will put on an act for however long it takes to get into the country, you can never by 100% certain. I'd rather be single than married to a scammer!

    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      @Dashing Scorpio - I enjoyed reading your comment. True - All relationships are give and take. I like the point you noted about not concerning themselves with what others think. We have to be careful on that though. Some friends can see what we can't and might point it out e.g someone being abusive but the partner accepts it.

      However, there is the other side where people might be against a 24 year old lady marrying a 48 year old man... in that case we need not concern ourselves with people's opinion.

      Interesting Comment - I'm glad you stopped by. :-)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      6 years ago

      Excellent hub! I also think there are men in America who miss some of the traditions of years gone by where women spoiled their men both in bed and out of it. In some ways you would think it would be (natural) for (both people) to be that way towards one another if they are madly in love.

      However in our society there is a sort of men vs women mentality thing going on. Oftentimes a woman or man may be pulled aside by their respective counterparts and told (what they should NOT do for the person they love). Bottom line, life is a personal journey and each of us has to run our own race. As long as two people are doing what (they) want to do and are happy they should not concern themselves with what others think.

      Lastly whether we admit it or not EVERYONE is with someone because they have SOMETHING to offer/compliment or enrich their life in some way. No one wakes up and says, "I want someone who has absolutely nothing that I'm attracted to or desire." There is always a reason why we say "yes" to one person and "no" to another. It may be looks, education, occupation, wealth, status, connections, or personality. In other words if we did not think it was in our best interest to be with them we would not waste our time. All relationships are give and take. One man's opinion! :-)

    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Thanks Hello Hello - I agree, it is risky Biz.

      ** Supun - What's with the phone number? Nevermind, maybe a Mail Order Bride will call you...

    • profile image

      supun 

      6 years ago

      Hi I like friends call or sms me 094783919982

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      Well written hub about a very dangerous business.

    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Hi Ruby - it is still happening and on the increase too. Thanks for sharing your comments.

      ** Lol Paul - still laughing... It would be an honour to be your chief bridesmaid. :)

      ** Hi Kitty - thanks for that. People do it for different reasons, but it is costly to the man. Some are treated badly, some are treated like princesses but having said that, some might give their hubby hell too. lol. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • kittythedreamer profile image

      Nicole Canfield 

      6 years ago from Summerland

      Lady_E - Great hub, as always. :) I voted up and interesting. I honestly didn't realize that the men paid the woman to marry them. I thought maybe they'd pay for the plane ride and moving costs, etc. but I had no idea they had fees to pay! Wow...how naive am I to these sorts of things. With mail order brides, I used to think it was okay to a degree..I do disagree with paying for a mail order bride outside of the moving costs and wedding costs...that does seem like human trafficking to me a little bit. While I'm only semi-feminist, I still agree that some of these women are getting out of worse environments and getting a chance to survive and thrive in a good country; however, some of them probably get treated like trash...depending on the man, I would guess. Thanks for an interesting article.

    • profile image

      paulgc 

      6 years ago

      I will have to get my best shoes out from under the bed and give them a polish. How do you fancy being my chief bridesmaid, lol.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Different strokes for different folks. I say, " Do what makes you happy and if you feel comfortable doing it " I really didn't think this was happening now. Good info. Thank you....

    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Paul - I have ordered the Catalogues for you as a matter of urgency. :) You can also google them. Let me know when it's time for me to get a wedding hat. *wink wink.

      ** FGual - totally agree with you. It's a big business that has it's good and bad points. Nice to hear from you. Hope you are fine.

      ** Mentalist Acer - Mmmmmh... Possibly. I'm glad you stopped by. Regards.

    • Lady_E profile imageAUTHOR

      Elena 

      6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Susie - thanks so much for sharing your personal story and I wish you more years of happiness.

      ** Dave - Amazing Story. I love it when people find True love and wish "you and yours" more happiness. Wow.... and congrats on your 25th Marriage Anniversary.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      If A Mail Order Bride Can Get Citizenship Then It Doesn't Matter If They Marry For Love...I Figure That's How These Women See It...Opportunity.;)

    • profile image

      F Gual 

      6 years ago

      Hello Lady E. Great article on a difficult subject. Mail order brides existed in the US in bygone days, and now it has morphed into an international quest. This is loaded with hidden minefields where both sides with either good or bad intentions could get burned or hurt. Mid-age men may see this as a blessing to finally find true love, to poor gullible foreign women seduced by the glamorous freedom seen in western movies it may seem heaven. Beware of glossy beauty hiding the truth.

    • profile image

      paulgc 

      6 years ago

      Hello Lady_E, first of all thanks forher great sharing another great hub article.Secondly, where can i get one of those catalogues lol.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Lady_E: I suppose you might say that my wife of 24and1/2 years was a mailorder bride in a way. She is Filipino and was living and working in Hong Kong. I was introduced to her over the phone by her cousin who I knew here and after about 8 months corespondence, sight unseen we were married in Hong Kong. Now almost 25 years later we are still married and still together.

    • profile image

      SusieQ42 

      6 years ago

      I'll never be a mail order bride because I am already a bride...with nearly 40 years of marriage behind me (to 3 different men) One divorce, one widow, and my sweet hubby of nearly 8 years. So never to be a mail order bride. I do so love the movie, "Sarah, Straight and Tall" though. Sarah did eventually fall in love with her hubby, but first she fell in love with his children!

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