- Gender and Relationships
Maintain good relationship with others
We all will face a situation, where we have to say 'No' to others. They may be strangers or may be our close relatives either in our family or friendship. By saying 'No' to strangers will be a easy task but to our closed ones, we all will get fail to say 'No'. We may say so many stories without explaining real problem or situation to say 'No'. In worst cases, we may not able to say 'No' and half heartedly or with irritation, we will say 'yes'. So what made us to behave like this? This is because to avoid a bad impression with the people or what might think about us, like the guess will go on. But it is our right to be bold in some situation where we cannot able to help others. So go through some situations here and learn how to say 'No' without hurting others and also not feeling guilty.
Situations to say 'No'
When we find out the situations, in what are all the situations will happen to say 'No' to our dear ones. The most important situation will happen in financial decisions. Our friend or our close relatives may ask for a financial help, even though we may have money but the situation makes us not to help them. The situation may be whatever but it is a reasonal situation which restricts to not to help them. At those times, what will do? Can we have that much bold to say 'No' in a straight way. Most of us won't say a straight answer. We use to say 'See, I am having this problem, so i need to spend for that.. also my mother is not feeling well, i need for that also, my sister coming for vacation, so I have to spend some money for the family...' like the reasons will go on. The real reason is, he want to put that money in Bank for his future expenses. But he cannot say that reason straight. So this and that answers will play. To understand better, just go through the small story.
John and Samson are friends. One day John's relatives came at airport and they asked john to come airport for pickup. John's car got some problem and he thought to ask Samson for his car to go airport. So John went to Samson's home, told the situation and asked his car. Samson replied, ' Sorry John, my wife is cooking chicken soup, so it is not possible to give my car'. John got confused whether Samson misunderstood his question. So John asked again, 'Samson I need your car'. Samson replied again, 'Sorry Johnson, I cannot give my car now, my wife is cooking chicken soup'. John got irritated and asked Samson again, 'Did you understood my question, you are replying something else;. Samson replied calmly, ' see John, my intention is not to give car to you, whatever the reason I am telling you is not matter, I don't want to give my car, the reason may be anything'.
Do you think that what Samson did was correct? Your answer whether yes or no, but most of us playing the situation as Samson did. It is not a proper way of answering. Let us see how to tackle this problem.
How to say 'No'
Most of the situation where we feel hesitate to say No' will be with our close relatives or to our friends. It is really a difficult situation to say 'No' without hurting the other person who is asking help. So to tackle this type of problems, we have to be bold and straight forward. This case is the person who are really a helping tendency person but due to some unavoidable situation, he or she may not able to help. It is not for the people who are not at ready to help others in any situtation. This hub is not for them. So to find a solution for this problem, let go to another story.
John started construction a house with the help of bank loan. Due to some problem, he was not able to get money from bank for that month but he has to settle some money to avoid a bad situation in his construction. So he thought of asking help from Samson. Samson who is well-to-do family, having a nice own house, car, etc. But for next few months he was not in a situation to help ohers as he have money but he put that money back for his business to expand more because of the competition.
John came to Samson and asked for some money for his house construction. Samson replied, 'Sorry John, I am expanding my business and this time, I will not able to help you. You try from other source', John asked again, ' No Samson, you are my friend, I cannot go anywhere, You have to help me'. Samson patiently replied,' See John, for the next two months are my life deciding factor, if I am not able to expand my business, my business is over and I cannot survive in this world. So sorry from my side. I am not in a position to help you this time'.
John without any reaction, asked again, 'See Samson, you are the only best friend for me and you are the only source to help in tough situations. So I asking you 1000 times, please help me'. Samson replied calmly, ' If you ask for 1000 times, I will say 1001 times that I will not help you this time'. Now John understood the situation and went to search from any other source.
By this way, we can explain our situation and make them to understand better about the situation that we are not able to ready. The reason should be a strong base and should not be a silly. Then only it is possible to explain our situation so bold and also it will not affect the relationship. Even though in some cases, the relationship will come to end, but no other way, we have to play that role in some times, otherwise our life will be a great question mark.
Every relationship is important to us. At any time or any cost we should not hurt others. But at the same time, we have to be rigid in some cases which might cause a situation to break the relationships. Whatever may be, if the basic reason is proper, we have to be strong enough to explain our situation and in a polite way we can say 'No' to others in such a way that, it may not hurt others and also we will get inner satisfaction. Whereas if we play a role of explaining unwanted situations to say 'No', it may not be good and also we won't get satisfied with our answer itself. It will act as a needle in our heart.
So be bold in our answer and maintain a good relationship with all. I will meet you in another situation to maintain a good relationship.
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