- Gender and Relationships»
Making Friends Made Easy
Why do we need friends?
Making friends can be a very difficult thing to do, but making friends is important. When I was younger I would talk to everyone about anything, so it was easy for me to make friends. It wasn't till later in my life that I realized, we all don't have that gift.
One of my best friends growing up had a disorder. He was made fun of a lot, and I was always there to be his friend, so I got to see a lot of it. I hadn't realized it the time how difficult it must have been for him to interact with anyone. When we are young, it doesn't matter we will talk to anyone. Bullies will always be bullies though.
I began to realize later that his teenage years and further were going to be very difficult, and that many other people have the same problem. For some of us its just not meant to be in our heads. We either step back into the shadows, or stay quiet and out in the open.
The problem is it takes that leap forward to get something done. It can start as simple as a "Hello", but it needs to start.
So why do we need friends?
There are so many reasons we need friends, that I wrote a hub about it.
The fact is that everyone is making a connection in some way, either good or bad. When you interact with someone, that decision will be made from both of you. You will need to decide if you want to step up.
Making a Connection
The Final Steps
Social Media Groups
How to make friends for beginners?
Mr. Rogers Style
If you need a place to start, like a solid foundation. I would recommend that if you do not know anything about making friends, you start here.
Ok so most of us are past this stage. We will just move on from here.
Friend Making Shadows
Making a connection
Making a connection with someone can seem like a difficult task. With all of today's distractions, including people being trapped in there phones or running around trying to catch their owns lives, getting someone's attention can be rough.
It comes down to a push. Do not literally push someone, but you need to take a step. Think about all the things you like to do, see if you can find someone with those same hobbies. Do you like metal? Do you like rap? Do you like going to church?
When finding people to make a connection with, remember everyone will not just like you. Some people don't like other people, they may just be to busy to talk, or they just be to distracted by something else in their lives at the moment. DO NOT let that discourage you.
There are millions upon millions of people around that like the same things. It's all about math. You also have to realize that this is not easy for them either. A lot of people out there just can't make friends, because of anxiety or social issues in themselves.
Their is someone out there that is begging for someone to talk to them. All it takes is that first step. Talk to everyone. Find your voice.
When someone gets rejected, it can hurt. Its like getting a little cut, and enough cuts in the same spot will leave a deep wound. Fortunately, you have an option. Everyone has the option to either, let it bleed or get a band-aid.
You could let it get to you, or you could realize that everyone goes through this. Yea, everyone. At sometime in everyone's life, they will get rejected. It may not be trying to make friends, but it will happen, and you accepting rejection is your first step.
So, please realize this. You need to be able to accept that you will not always win, or get what you want. I will give you an example. Pretend you are going to the store to by fruit, we will go with an avacado. You see all the delicious avacados, and you notice one that just doesn't look right. Knowing that it could be bad, do you get it?
No, of course you don't. The reason, however, is the same. Their is just something about it you think is bad. You do not know what it is, but you can tell. That, my friends, is judging a book by its cover, and yes we all do it.
See, not everyone is trying to see the good in everything. Therefore, everyone is not going to see the good or interesting in everyone else. Do not let that stop you from moving on to the next person.
If you need to, find ways to deal with rejection. In fact, go into sales. You will learn very quickly, what its like to deal with rejection, and maybe even ways to get around it, especially if your job depends on it.
Everyone Needs Friends
My book - Making Friends Made Easy
The Final Steps
So now its time to come to a close with the final steps. You know that you need friends, and you know you have to step up. What's next? That is up to you. After you find your connection with someone, don't push. Just remember to be yourself. There is nothing worse then meeting someone, and finding out they are someone different.
Give it time. A full blown relationship with someone else could take some time. If they don't talk to you for a couple of days, or a week or two. Relax....just relax. The more friends you try to make the more of a chance of making a great friend.
There is a friend out there for everyone. With the amount of hobbies, choices of music, schools, sports, and everything in general. It shouldn't be hard to find someone with the same qualities that make you, you.
We all could use more friends, in a society where so many people are connected, yet not interacting, its time to get more people face to face, and from place to place.
Below I have left a video. This is exactly what it can be like to make a connection with someone. Its a short video, so its easier to take in all at once. It can be tough sometimes, but you have to be confident.
Do you have friends?
Why is making friends so hard?
Social Media Groups
Facebook can be an amazing place to find people just like you. There are so many social media groups that I could write an entire hub on it. There are so many people on Facebook, that coming across no one that likes the same thing would never happen. Unless you have a really really specific thing, like people who like to chew gum while they ride laser raptors...on Wednesdays.
All the groups can be very diverse, also very confusing. There are hobby groups, music fan groups, harry potter fan groups. I do believe there is even a group for fans of groups. In social media groups you can literally find people looking for the same exact subjects you want.
Most groups will let anyone in, even if its a closed group. All you have to do is ask.
Now go to your social media accounts, and find your people.
If you really need to start small, this would be the best way to do it. Pen pals are people how write to each other, or email. Sometimes these people never meet face to face. This can be a way to start friendships, without the stress and anxiety of being out. We all know that this can be a very hard part to get passed, but don't worry everyone is in the same boat.
Pen pal sites are everywhere. All you need to do to start is sign up to one and start writing messages. Write as many as you want and see what comes back to you. Don't forget to be yourself. The worst thing you can do it not be yourself. That can lead to a lot of negativity from people who realize you are being fake to them.
When people meet you for the first time, they want to know they are talking to the real person. If you ever need to find out who you are, then you have been acting like someone else for way to long. Just say what you want, do what you want. Do not hold back.
Things like this aren't always quick, sometimes it will take days or weeks to get responses online. Some people just do not check these things everyday. They probably expect the same about you. So remember, stay real and give it time.