- Gender and Relationships
Making Friends as You Go
Making new friends
Making New Friends as You Go
One mistake made by many people is to believe you should keep all your friends, all your life long. It cannot be done, it should not be done, especially in these modern times when people are constantly moving from city to city and country to country. One of the human delusions is the notion that friendship should be lifelong. The fact is that a person of resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs and politics. Looking at the opposite side of the coin, you may keep in contact with and old school friend, and yet, even this is becoming a rare event.
If you believe otherwise, you believe young people should marry the first person they have a crush on. Or that we should still be going around with the group we went to school with, although with social media this is made more possible. H L Menchen said "A prudent man, examines his friendships critically now and then remembering that life is short, A few he retains, and others no longer in his circle, he tries to forget." And without sounding egotistical, my mother often pointed out that what we become a few years down the line, depends mostly on the people we mix with.
On the same subject, George Bernard Shaw wrote, "The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor, he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect them to fit me." Living means changing, and changing means, or at least should mean, forming new friendships and discarding some of those we outwear. No two people mature at the same rate, some move ahead faster than others, and it is almost ridiculous to try to retain all of your old friendships. Some people feel guilty about outgrowing a friendship, they think they are becoming snobbish or being disloyal, when actually it is perfectly natural.
As we get older the tendency is to form stronger and more lasting friendships than when we were young, changing and moving around a lot. Our best and most lasting friends are those who think along the same lines, believe in the same things, and constantly challenge us to move ahead with them into interesting mental and emotional maturity. These are friends we enjoy spending an evening with, having good conversation over dinner and a sense of camaraderie.
To wrap up, we should strive for balance in our quest for having good friends and being one, friends at work, our place of worship or members of a service organization, and a sports club perhaps. Apparently people with a network of good friends are happier, less depressed, enjoy life more and live longer.
"A true friend is someone who knows all about you but still accepts you as you a
To your good and supportive friendships.