- Gender and Relationships
Paralyzed Bride Walks Down Aisle. Not This Chic!
Walking Down The Isle... I Think Not!
I was married this summer it was a wonderful wedding. We were surrounded by family and friends up until the night before I wasn't sure if I was going to stand as We said our vows.
I have been a wheelchair user for more than 20 years due to my cerebral palsy. I have limited movement when standing my balance is pretty iffy.
The wonderful woman who fixed my dress made it so it would look nice sitting down or standing up upon my decision.
During rehearsal, I could not stand and focus on what was going on. Even when my cousin stood behind me, so I felt safer about standing and not falling, and the pain was just miserable.
Then and there I decided that I would stay in my wheelchair until the kiss. It was perfect for me and for my now husband, he didn't have to worry about me falling on my face in the middle of our ceremony.
I've read stories about brides walking down the aisle despite being paralyzed and how miraculous that is to people around the world who think it's inspirational.
I'm happy for anyone who follows their heart as in this video above but it just wasn't my thang!
In Sickness & Health
It Takes A Special Person
Another bone of contention is the use of inspirational and hero talking about a marriage.
I've never heard the term used before when anybody else has gotten married (able-bodied peeps) as if it was a miracle that someone would be willing to spend the rest of their lives with someone physically challenged because we are defective the eyes of the world.
It's even worse for those whose spouses aren't disabled they are commonly referred to as a hero which is very insulting for the couple who are in love and it has nothing to do with disability. I have heard people say "It Takes A Special Person." In reference to marrying their disabled fiance'.
To Have & To Hold
Society paints a picture of the hero as the person who still wants to marry his paralyzed fiancé inspite of her accident.
I'm sure you've heard of Rachel Friedman the paralyzed bride. It was all over the news that she had been pushed into a swimming pool at her bachelorett party by accident.
The fact that her fiancé still wanted to marry her a year later seems to perplex a lot of people, they acted as if he was a hero for still wanting to marry the woman he wanted to marry before her life changing accident.
The woman she was before her accident is the woman that she still is inspite of her accident.
Would You Walk or Wheel?
I didn't know Rachel before she joined the rest of us wheelers, but we are rolling in the same circles now, and we have become friends and I can tell you her husband loves her with all of his heart, and it has nothing to do with disability, in fact, they are having a baby a few months.
My husband and I certainly get a lot of attention when we go some place but it's a little different for us than Rachel and her husband. My husband is a partial para who walks with a cane and wears AFO'S.
I think people view us as we're supposed to be together since we're both disabled even though it's in a very different way. He was in a motocross accident and has some feeling here and there in his legs but below the knee he cannot feel anything which is why he needs the AFO's. I was born with my Cerebral palsy and for many years I walked with crutches and wore braces too but I'm 100% independent in my wheelchair than I am walking.
Bryan & Tara
Friendship, Loyalty & Devotion
It's not our disabilities that keep us together it's our love and understanding of each others limitations and frustrations that come along with having a disability.
Most of the time it has NOTHING to do with being disabled. We connect emotionally, physically in a way we've never connected with another person. We have the same faith, vision for our life and he's fine with our fury kids which is so important to me and I don't mind that he's a gear-head. I kinda find it sexy to be honest.
So the next time you see a couple and one is disabled and the other is not or both are disabled just know that they truly love each other as equals. It takes strength to deal with anything in life and it's just part of their life.