- Gender and Relationships
Marriage And The Garden Hose
What can we learn from a garden hose?
Trickle-down Marriage Theory
As you roll up the garden hose for another year, and again when you unroll it for the first waterings of a new season, take a good look at the hose and realize it can teach us about the various stages of marriages.
Obviously a brand new garden hose (Photo #1) is functional in every way, just as new marriages can (and should be) functional, once the initial kinks are straightened out.
Over time, however, the flow of water in the garden hose, can resemble the flow of communication in a marriage. A severe bend (Photo #2) in the garden hose practically shuts off the flow, and when communication in a marriage is disrupted, the easy flows that exist in a fully functional marriage can be reduced to a painful trickle.
Enough of those disruptions can cause a severe weakening of the garden hose (Photo #3), and even cut off the flow of the nourishing water coming from the garden hose. So also, ignoring the repeated disruptions in communication in a marriage can begin to starve a marriage of the mutual understandings needed for a healthy marriage.
Sometimes repair and strengthening is needed to restore the flow of water in a garden hose (Photo #4.) So also, counseling is sometimes needed to show a clearer path forward in a marriage, and restore the good communication which is so essential.
When every effort has been made to fix a damaged garden hose, but the hose is so irreparably damaged that there is absolutely no hope of restoring it to its proper function and service, it could be time to realize what happened to shorten its life, and resolve to be more careful with the next, perhaps better quality choice of garden hose.
With nearly 50% of America's marriages ending at some point in divorce, and many couples deciding to never marry in the first place, what can a garden hose teach us about two people marrying in this day and age?
Marriage is the joining together of two individuals with the intent to establish a working partnership which benefits both parties to the marriage in ways neither could achieve on their own. Joining two good garden hoses together (Photo #5) allows for providing nourishing water to parts of the garden, which neither hose could reach by itself. The more solid the link, the more likely it is that the two joined together will fully deliver what neither could have delivered alone.
Marrying again? Well, if a new garden hose of similar quality is treated the same way a failed garden hose was treated, the chances are high that the new garden hose will fail in the same way.
If the lessons learned from the failure of the first garden hose are taken to heart , and are applied to providing better care for the second garden hose, there is a much greater chance the second garden hose will benefit from the lessons learned.
Remember that the function of the garden hose is to deliver a precious flow of water to areas of the garden where it is needed. The function of communication in a marriage is to deliver the love and understanding, the compromises and devotion, when and where they are most needed...with as few kinks, rough spots worn thin, and repairs needed, as possible.
A good start is just that: a good beginning.
© 2012 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.
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