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Marriage over at 50+

Updated on March 11, 2016

How did I get here? Part 1

My husband left the state for work on October first, 2015, and I haven't seen him since. He tried to drive home for Thanksgiving and the vehicle broke down, so he didn't make it and that was the last time he tried, until this weekend, March 11, 2016. I spent all the holidays and my eleventh anniversary alone. In all that time alone, I have asked him to send me love letters on many occasions, and he has not. He called me before Christmas to ask me if he should buy his sister-in-law a present, and I lost it because he wasn't going to get me anything, after the fight he sent me last minute roses, then again on Valentines day and on our anniversary. When he went away to work I never thought that he would stay away this long.

My husband hasn't seen me in months and once he called talking about my long blond hair, well I had cut it off and stopped coloring it, so that isn't me anymore. Our relationship dynamic has changed also, I have become a "yes" person, I have to agree with everything he says or it is a 'cold' phone call. If I call him when it is not convenient to him, he is caustic, so now he calls me when he wants and I try not to call him. He sometimes doesn't answer my texts or he doesn't open and read my emails to him and that shows me that I am not a priority to him. He now is condescending to me and explains things to me like I am an not capable of understanding. I try to be very sweet to him no matter what, but it is sarcasm and he can't hear it.

Where is the Cialis?

We have had an ongoing problem for about three years and it involves his ED meds. He started taking them with him when he was staying over in a hotel. That was really tough on me, and I will admit that he went for a lie detector test and passed, he wasn't using them to sleep around, so I accepted that with no further comment. However when he went to work in October he took them again, and then he not only denied it but bought more online and had them delivered to his sister-in-laws address, I only found this out by the bank statement. We had a huge fight over this again, and he told me that it is his right as a man to have and keep his medication and it is none of my business. I again felt buffalo'd and very, very unimportant seeing how our sex life was down to maybe three times a year before he left, I guarantee it will be less than that this year. If he isn't using the Cialis to sleep around then what does he use it for? His pants zipper is always down, is he a pervert?

Long story short.

I sent him a text asking why he didn't answer my text and yes it had heavy sarcasm in it so he called me up and started screaming at me like I was a naughty child, then when he was done he said he couldn't talk anymore. Later I called and I told him not to come this weekend, where he was going to fly in on Friday night around 10:30 and leave Sunday morning by 11:00. I can't stand him and he has no clue because he doesn't care enough to look deeper than my words. It is over and I have to find my own way, and I am scared. I will continue to let him support me until; a) he stops or b) I can support myself. I will be working hard on the b option.

Today is Friday and there is a small chance he will come here anyway. I will update this as I go forward. Thank you for reading and until next time remember that we all have inner strength to do what is right for ourselves.

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