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My Married Girlfriend Is Pregnant

Updated on February 14, 2013

She gave you a sob story about how her husband doesn't love her, beats her, ignores her, works too many hours, etc. The affair has been going on hot and heavy for some time, yet she is still with her husband. Have you taken the time to consider:


What happens if the affair produces a child?
A Consequence Of Cheating

Questions

With all the news items on the affairs of Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and others, what is rarely noted is that in 50% of divorces where infidelity is claimed, it is the woman who was having the affair. Adding to this, in 30% of paternity tests, the male being tested is NOT the father of the child. This presents an interesting question on what would be the results if paternity testing became mandatory on all new births.

Med Express Labs, a blood-sampling lab in Overland Park (KS) DNA has been running TV commercials specifically addressing this issue. In a type of TRUST, BUT CONFIRM ad (see below), it points out that no man can be sure his children are truly the Fruit of His Loins without running a DNA Comparison (Paternity) Test. With the development of easy paternity testing, requiring only two samples, a man has available to him a way to confirm his paternity without the participation, OR knowledge of the mother.

The problem that arises from the issue of married women getting pregnant because of an affair is what are the responsibilities, and possible rights, of the man with whom she was having an affair? Should he be, and/or is he, required to pay child support? Does he have any rights to the child, whether paying child support or not?

The Laws

This issue, and the related laws, is complex with no clear uniformity in the United States. In most states, Equitable Paternity is the rule of law, meaning any child born of the marriage is the child of the husband by default. If a divorce takes place, the husband is financially responsible for all the children, regardless of paternity. In addition, this continues even if later, the mother lives with, or marries, the biological father.

In these cases, whether or not the married couple remains together, the biological father is not responsible financially for, nor can he obtain any rights to, the child. However, this can change if the couple relocates to a different state, which can create significant complications for the biological father.

At this point, the mother can file for child support on the biological father, retroactive up to 18 years worth, depending on the specific state law. State laws range from two years retroactive in Florida, to 18 years in Michigan. Most states though are five years, but even with that, depending on the biological father's income, this could amount to tens of thousands of dollars. Most men cannot simply write out a check for $5000, let alone an amount ranging from $50K to $100K.

With any child support arrears of totaling more than $2500, an automatic suspension takes place of any rights to travel abroad. Even when related to employment. In addition, Tax Returns can be intercepted, and any assets, including jointly held assets, can be frozen and liquidated.

This should be a consideration of any man having an affair with a married woman. The financial consequences can be substantial and not evident for up to 23 years after the birth of the child. The standard in most states is that a mother has until the child turns 18 to file for retroactive child support, but states can set later limits. Further, the children can themselves file, if the mother has not, up to one year after he/she reaches the Age of Majority for their state.

This said, though financially the biological father may not be responsible, even voluntarily at the time of the birth of the child, with our upwardly mobile society, this could change as the years pass.

On the issue of rights to the child, different factors are considered. First, no father has parental rights to his child, born to a woman who is not his wife, under any circumstances, until approved by the court. However, even in states where the possibility exists that a man may have the option to sue for parental rights to a child born to another man's wife, the question is whether he should.

A Child's Best Interest

What is in the best interest for a child is to be a part of an intact family. Children from dysfunctional homes have 400% higher rates the drug abuse, involvement in crime, adolescent sexual activity, and suicide.

Priorities of all adults should be what are best for the children, whether that child is our own, or a part of society as a whole. We are all children of humanity; we should all consider what is best for the long-term health of children, even if this means allowing another man to be the child's father.

This is not the same as a case where the parents have separated and Mom has found a New Daddy for her children, as they know they have a father. In a case where a child is born of an intact family, and where the husband chooses to parent the child, it need not be necessary for the child to know the existence of their biological father. This can wait until they are of an age whereby he/she is better capable to understand that his mother made an improper choice of character. However, in considering this, there must be an open discussion with the husband to address all the potential legal concerns facing both the men by making this choice.

Even in cases where the husband chooses to parent the child, the possibility still exist that should a divorce take place, the mother could than object to him having any parental rights on the grounds that he is not biologically related, nor has an adoption of the child taken place. Further, in doing so, she can than file for retroactive child support on the biological father.

In addressing a case of this type, first the Husband needs to be fully apprised of the situation so that he knows his options and considerations. Even while living in a state that mandates the husband be the legal father, circumstances can change if a move to another state, without these requirements, takes place. If this is to be a serious consideration, it must be taken before a court in order to address all these potential problems.

The court needs to rule that the biological father will have no financial responsibilities for, or parental rights to, the child. Similar to an adoption, it could include the option of receiving continuing reports on the child's development, with a promise that the child be informed of his/her biological parentage.

This will protect the man whose raised the child as his own from later having his parental rights easily taken away by the child's mother, and it protects the biological father, who made the choice to give the child the possibility of a good life, from later being financially bankrupted for that choice.

Unfortunately, in today's society, the mother holds all the cards unless specifically addressed in a court of law. In addition, the unfortunate part of this is that unlike a married man getting a single woman pregnant, a married woman faces few legal repercussions for her affair, or the resulting child. Even in the event of a divorce, in most states, the affair is not a consideration in fault or division of property.

ANY MAN

INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED WOMAN MUST THINK ABOUT THESE FACTORS. REGARDLESS OF HOW GOOD THE AFFAIR MAY BE, THE MAN IS HANDING OVER HIS FUNDAMENTAL CIVIL RIGHTS TO HER IF SHE BECOMES PREGNANT.

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    • profile image

      anonymous 3 years ago

      Santana Valdez Says

      i am giving this testimony cos l am happy

      My name is mrs. Santana Valdez from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in June 28th 2013 this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my loveâs gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.iâm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years⦠i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didnât believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do⦠well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpotemble@yahoo.com Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address... atakpotemble@yahoo.com please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay...What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpotemble@yahoo.com

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      sarah

      My Name is sarah.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my boyfriend back and he means so much to me..The boy i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another woman..,When i called him he never picked my calls,he deleted me on his facebook and he changed his facebook status from married to Single...when i went to his place of work he told his boss he never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i can't get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my boyfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Us the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is wednesday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on wednesday and apologies for all he had done ..he said,he never knew what he was doing and his sudden behavior was not intentional and he promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my boyfriend called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its saturday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com I can't give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com.Once Again His Email Address Is: uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      sarah

      My Name is sarah.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my boyfriend back and he means so much to me..The boy i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another woman..,When i called him he never picked my calls,he deleted me on his facebook and he changed his facebook status from married to Single...when i went to his place of work he told his boss he never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i can't get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my boyfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Us the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is wednesday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on wednesday and apologies for all he had done ..he said,he never knew what he was doing and his sudden behavior was not intentional and he promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my boyfriend called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its saturday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com I can't give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com.Once Again His Email Address Is: uzaallpowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      i am giving this testimony cos l am happy

      My name is mrs. Deborah Collins from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in March this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my loveâs gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.iâm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years⦠i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didnât believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do⦠well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com

      Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you.

      please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay..

      What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Sure glad I got a vasectomy after my divorce. And I won't be marrying again!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      thanks

    • knit1tat2 profile image

      knit1tat2 6 years ago

      Wow, glad I'm in the game anymore! Life is getting more complicated by the year, but definitely a well handled sensitive subject. Good job!